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[–]dasanman69 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Unless she's working on the space station or Antarctica how busy can she really be? A girl with high interest will make time.
[–]Jazzgainz 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Agreed. I guess it’s my bad for not being more definitive/assertive to ask her out. I wasn’t trying to rush anything but I agree
[–]TheSunshineMan 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wasn’t trying to rush anything but I agree
Mistake.
You snooze you lose.
You come across as a puss puss who doesn't go after what he wants.
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough. I just didn’t see it as a pressing matter. Well, I told her what’s up. So we see what happens from here. I’m just glad I made it clear where I stand
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Not necessarily. It depends on what exactly is happening. Everyone has prior engagements and priorities. I my work once I’m booked, that’s it - I’m booked. To cancel is bad for my business. Sometimes I’m only free for time 10 days ahead.
[–]quantumactual 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
In rare instances, this is true.
Comment stands valid - a woman with high interest will make herself available.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes it’s rare but does that mean it is reasonable to presume that her lack of commitment to a closer definitive time is a sign of not really being that into him?
When we assume that this is the case, the only way forward is to continue without further contact otherwise it’s coming across too needy.
Whether she is genuinely interested but genuinely busy without flexibility to make plans sooner, the result is the same: she’s just one girl.
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Given the string of texts I saw, no, this was not one of those ‘rare’ instances. In a rare instance, they will still do their best to offer a counter-meetup day.
It’s straight forward - if you like someone, you do what you can to see them. And it’s never hard. All the obstacles, the roundabout communication - it’s quite clear.
I don’t disagree with the last two paragraphs, though it’s better to assume in this case she’s not interested, so you aren’t caught up on someone who isn’t, or isn’t clearly displaying said interest. Women will text you all day long - doesn’t mean you’ll ever get the chance to take them out. Do you want to be that guy?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t txt so I’m never that guy lol
[–]Kenic_In_MD 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She’s super busy with work
If a girl is interested in you, she WILL make time. Schedule the date, confirm the day before the date then show up for it. If she plays games or is flakey between now and then do yourself a favor and bail. Make sure you flirt and schedule stuff with other girls between now and then.
[–]Jazzgainz 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed here. I’ll hit her up and schedule something and see what’s up
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
She’s not snakey to you but she’s big time flakey to ya
She’s raising her “value” by giving u bs excuses. Don’t waste ur time on her. Take out if she texts u about meetup. Otherwise- you’re busy for her
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I never officially asked her out. Just mentioned that we should go out sometime soon and she agreed. Then said what I mentioned. So I guess we’ll see
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Hinting about “sometimes” you give when u first approach
When u text - that convo should end w exact time n spot suggestion. Other than that, you’re officially offering her to become her text-buddy. Which is bad idea
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Your right bro. Force of habit I guess. Usually the chicks come back and ask me what we’re gonna do lol.
Been hitting it off with some different women lately. I’ll just hit her tonight and be like “I’m going to that axe throwing place on Friday at 6 you wanna come?”
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Thats when u cut the contact and don’t swallow all bs they give you. You show value. And thats what women attracted to.
The sec part: Very good idea. Ur showing that ur busy and having fun anyways. W her or w/o. Ur just offering her (value) to join you. Her loss if she doesn’t take a chance. You always got plan B. C. D. You’re not staying home..
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Appreciate it my bro. Makes sense. I’m just not used to the world of games. I’m a pretty decent looking guy with a good physique so it’s never been hard, but that’s just shallow women lol.
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Masculine outside can get them. But masculine inside is what will make them engaged and keep them around. Have fun✌️
[–]Sabahyy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I don’t think she means harm but it def looks like she’s making up excuses to get you to chase a bit. My advice is don’t bite. Tell her aight cool hit me up when you wanna hang out and then move on with your life and chances are she’ll probably get a better attitude
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah def. but if I have to play that game I’d rather just not. I’m an honest dude, I just throw it all out there. Wanna go out? Cool. If I hear “maybe” or no I’m out
[–]TheSunshineMan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Then don't even reply back. Stop replying to her texts.
That’s kind of implied with what I said lol
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Like the top commenter said, if her interest is high, she will make time for you. Chances are, you’re back burner material (to her), maybe because of the failure to ask her out sooner, who knows. Date other women, if she comes back, cut the short bullshit text and Snapchat convos, ask her out because that’s what she’s expecting and looking for.
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yeah so update. Asked her out like I said, told me she was in location (where she works at the camp) over the weekend.
Just told her what’s cool and to hit me up if she wants to do something, and that I’d rather not be texting buddies if that’s all it is
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
I would have asked her when she’d be available to go do X. If she gave you anything other than an actual day, she ain’t about it.
The way you put it (hit me up if you want to do something) is usually a turn off, because she’s likely already doing that now. You can get away with stuff like that with a girlfriend, not with a woman you’re trying to get out on a date.
Know for next time..after you’ve broken the ice and get to the part where you’re trying to get her out with you, ask her *when** she’s available* so you guys can do something together. Anything else is jargon that ruins your chances.
Edit: you’re almost there bud I can tell, you just need to change your communication a bit and you’ll be way more successful.
If she’s texting back and forth with you like that, just assume that she does want to see you. If you had assumed she wanted to see you already, you wouldn’t say ‘hit me up if you want to do something’. Of course she does!
It’s better to be arrogant and wrong about it, than to be uncertain.
Yeah so this is how the convo went-
Question! I'm gonna go to the axe throwing place in Houston this Saturday @6. You wanna come?
Uhg. I definitely would but I have to stay in Bellville tomorrow night until Sunday morning :(
Oh okay! Maybe next time
For sure
Next-
Yeah just let me know! Gonna give it to ya 100 here, if you wanna hang, hit me up with a date and time and let's make it happen.
If not that's fine too, I'm just not someone who's a hand sitter if you know what I mean.
Yeah I mean if you haven't noticed already, I'm not someone with a lot of free time 😂😂
Hey I get it! Trust me, lol my days used to be 20 hours long. But in the real world, if it's important ya make time
Just wanted to see where your head is at, Not over here trying to be a permanent texting buddy
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah man I mean, the convo from your side seems unworthy of her time.
“Question! I’m offering up this information you never asked for, you down?”
Like I said. Ask her when she’s available, and shut up. She might make it really easy, and say ‘next Friday’. Maybe she’ll make it a little more challenging, and say ‘I’m busy these next couple weeks’.
In the second instance, which is what you received, the only way to potentially get her out is to say, ‘Let me know when you’d be free to get together, I really want to see you.’ And you say nothing anymore until she offers that information.
Otherwise, she’s not interested and you’re wasting your time.
“Oh okay! Maybe next time”. This is uncertain, unworthy, “please go out with me”-like communication.
Like my comment update said, it’s better to be arrogant than uncertain.
Your following string of texts kind of cemented her views on this convo - you’re unsure, so you’re trying to get her to set the date up, which is not how it works. The only thing you should’ve said after she denied that date was - “Let me know when you’re free! I’d love to see you, we’d have an amazing time.”
Likely sabotaged, but if her interest was high, she’ll probably contact you again at some point to see if you have your big boy pants on next time. Assume she wants to go out with you, then act accordingly. The ‘please go out with me’ behavior will never cut it.
Interesting perception. I didn’t really see it as that, honestly the opposite. More so a “balls in your court” deal. But you make a point
[–]quantumactual 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well yes, ball is in her court when you say ‘Let me know when you’re available’, but the text conversation as a whole should be presumptive that she wants to see you. That’s not ‘ball in her court’, that’s simply a shift in your communication. It’s assertive, it’s dominating, it’s taking the lead.
The only time you’ll fail in this presumptive mindset is if she never was into you in the first place. Any girl willing to give you a shot will go out with you given the mutual understanding.
So. Got it cleared up last night. I just didn’t initiate conversation after this string of texts. She’s got other priorities it seems.
Her- Trust me, a permanent texting buddy isn't what I want right now either lol right now in my life it's just a super busy time because the business is about to double so work is my main priority. That's really what it is
Me- Anddddd I totally get that! Work is a priority as it should be. I wasn't tryna gouge at you, just telling it how it is. I'm busy too, maybe not to the same extent as you, But we all have a life. If someone isn't certain about something I'd rather just know upfront then wasting my time so I can back off and just keep it friendly.
It's not like we're planning a trip to Antarctica, it's just a few hours simple enough I feel
Her- Yeah honestly I'm not certain, finding someone that's more than just a friend just isn't something I'm making a priority at this moment in time I guess. I like you! And 100% get where you're coming from. But life is just crazy for me and finding even time for myself is hard.
Me- I get that. That's totally fair. And honestly I wasn't either. But the way I see it, you meet someone and it clicks and then go from there.
But if there is no going from there, what exactly are you doing? Lmao just doesn't make much sense to me. In my world, if you give a shit you find a balance and make a way. I feel like that’s pretty normal.
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re trying to be logical and reason with her, that’s not how it works. I thought I made it clear that you shouldn’t be texting her like that. Ask for the date, say nothing. Try it next time.
[–]TWA-GGLMG 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Right, women these days are soooo busy.
Right lol? To be fair I’m pretty dang busy and she works a lot more than me
[–]TheSunshineMan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
we really hit it off and talked nonstop for a few days.
This was probably your biggest mistake.
You should have set the date on the first interaction when you got her number: The exact date, activity and time.
Sounds like you over texted and now you bored her - and now you're just like all the other 1,000+ guys on her phone blowing her up giving her free validation.
Last chick I talked to was a total attention whore and strung me on for a ride so maybe I’m just paranoid
Sounds like you're doing the same thing with this girl.
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[–]dasanman69 9 points10 points11 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSunshineMan 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]quantumactual 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kenic_In_MD 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sabahyy 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSunshineMan 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]quantumactual 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]quantumactual 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TWA-GGLMG 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jazzgainz 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSunshineMan 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link