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[–]Kenic_In_MD 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
every time one of her friends gets engaged she feels the need to text update me
Cause she feels lonely and is seeking attention validation through you. Just to be blunt, that's what it is.
Honestly, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. It really does work! You are chasing this girl and validating her with attention but getting nothing in return. This is vicious cycle OP and you must break it. Least you turn into a guy just orbiting her with the slim hopes that you get to be with her again.
I've done this and it hurts you in the long run. It really does! Re-evaluate why you are going to Florida. Is it for work? Or is it really for her? It really doesn't matter what you text her at this point, she is either going to be down and meet up or come up with a random excuse to avoid you. A girl that's interested in you WILL make time. My vote is indeed to move on.
[–]Miltonwh 5 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Not trying to make myself sound like a deucebag but I’ve gotten “under” plenty of chicks since her. I’m currently juggling 3 and my head always goes back this attorney chick the post is about. Part of our break up was due to long distance and my unwillingness to move to FL for her law school (at the time she lived in Philly I lived in CT where we are both from).
It’s been 4 years and I’ve been with a gross amount of girls and it’s always been a temporary fix. It’s at the point that I can now actually move to Florida for work and would honestly be willing to if we can make it happen. Of course, it starts with baby steps so this text is super important to me. I’d rather her turn me down than me not try to make it work one more time and regret it forever like I have been the last 4 years.
[–]Kenic_In_MD 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Just a random question, if you guys are so into each other how come she hasn't offered to move back to you? Or go to school where you are? Or asked you to move to her? Or at the very least make time to come see you for a weekend or take a mini-vacay to see you? There are a million ways she could have put in the effort to see you. It seems like she isn't as interested as you believed her to be. Really think about it OP, what efforts could she have put fourth but decided not to?
If she really wanted to be with you that badly then she would be with you. Simple as that. Wait until you find a girl that's better than this chick. You'll probably even forget her name lol. There is always better and there are always more women that you're compatible with.
[–]Miltonwh 5 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Very good points. We didn’t talk at all the first two years after the break up. It has indeed been me doing the chasing by letting her know I’m in Miami this past year. Last winter when she texted me about a friend being engaged I asked if she was coming home for Xmas and she said she couldn’t because law school + an internship and 2 jobs. Her bro is auto immune compromised and she worked in restaurants in FL of all places(covid). That’s when I mentioned if I should let her know when I’m in Miami and she said “hmm maybe/sure” whatever it was I lost the text. Then when I did she asked me how long I’m there for and she said she couldn’t that day bc the guy she’s seeing is visiting from 2 hours away (that hurt, whatever can’t expect her to be single).. this is the “next” time. We haven’t had a conversation about either of us visiting just to see each other since it’s not serious at all.. more so just trying to casually run into each other
[–]Kenic_In_MD 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Family health issues
I had a friend who also lived in Florida, not only was she getting her doctorate, she had family health issues, personal issues and was going through a financial crunch. She STILL made time and spent the money to come see me.
hmm maybe/sure
Are you only worth a "maybe?" All of your efforts, your hard work, the attention and time and effort you're giving her. That's worth a "Maybe?/sure?"
bc the guy she’s seeing is visiting from 2 hours away
Now you are simping, that's a big NO OP
this is the “next” time
I'm saying this for your own good, it's not the next time. This is the time you let her go. Time to move on man.
[–]Miltonwh 5 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Ugh I know. I just keep using my FL visits as an excuse to rekindle something from nothing. I might just send the “hey, I’m in FL. Lmk if you’re around” (no here for work/ it’s been ages since we dated bla bla) and this will be the last attempt I promise. I’ll send it when I’m actually there so it doesn’t seem like I’m going there just for her. Last time, I promise kind stranger. Either way, I’m sure I’ll meet chicks down there like i did last time haha
[–]Kenic_In_MD 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I promise
You don't have to convince me man, i'm just trying to save you from heartache. But you seem dead set on it. Good luck then.
[–]Miltonwh 5 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Here’s what I think I’m gonna send. I don’t want it to sound to clingy or cringy:
Hey you. How’s that studying going? I’m gonna be bouncing around Florida all August for fun and work stuff I have going on there now. Want to get together one of those weekends? I wouldn’t mind catching up. If not, that’s cool too. I’ll stop buggin ya when I’m down there
[–]The-Sea-Warden 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seems like too much to me. Just let her know you’ll be down there and it would be cool to see her again.
[–]TheSunshineMan 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Way way way too long.
Confirmed, headed down to Miami the 3rd week of August.
Or something like that
[–]AssignmentFit2507 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask her will she go out on a date with you
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[–]Kenic_In_MD 3 points4 points5 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Miltonwh [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kenic_In_MD 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Miltonwh [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kenic_In_MD 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Miltonwh [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kenic_In_MD 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Miltonwh [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]The-Sea-Warden 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSunshineMan 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AssignmentFit2507 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link