I'm in a difficult position when it comes to picking up women. My story is inside and I'd like some advice please.

Winter1sCumming · 2013-04-14T17:39:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-04-14T18:03:07+00:00

At some point man, you just need to let go of your story. Who says you have low self esteem? You do. Who says you're afraid? You do. Who says you have low confidence? You do. If you went somewhere new where nobody knew you, all your stories may as well be a figment of your imagination. All you have is the present moment, and what's left of your future.

If you keep doing what you've always done you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. You need to take action. Do what salsa_sauce has laid out for you. Slowly work on your social anxiety. I went from being depressed, literally one friend, journaling about how much my life was pointless, to being excited about working up the courage to compliment a MAN on his hat, to approaching ONE girl and running the hell away after, to hanging out with ONE new friend (omg), then my first number close, then date, then kiss, etc.

Just start moving in the positive direction in everything. No matter how small, we change over time. Nothing happens overnight. If you're going to fall, make sure it's forwards rather than backwards.

kdelamont · 2013-04-14T19:51:05+00:00

I wrote a post about living at home a while back. IF you can change it, change it, but if you are stuck at home, learn to make it work for you:

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/115itl/guide_to_living_with_your_parents/

TheCuriousDude · 2013-04-14T17:29:41+00:00

I'm just gonna quote /u/KilgoreTrouserTrout from this thread:

Go out with the intention of crashing and burning. Get rejected on purpose. See ho[w] spectacularly you can fail.

If you do this, you can have a lot of fun with it. You'll also slowly realize that rejection is no big deal. You have to hear a lot of nos before you hear a yes. There's a lot of overlap in this with sales. The product you're selling is you.

I also want to add that many 20-something year olds are in your situation. With graduate school and college debt and the bad job market, it's understandable that many college grads resign to leaving with their parents. One of my bros is 24yo, is average-looking, has been going to college on and off for the past six years, hasn't gotten a degree, and lives with his aunt. AND HE STILL MANAGES TO GET GIRLS.

JagsLikeFapper · 2013-04-14T21:45:52+00:00

The best way to feel high value is to BE high value.

Work out, move out, read books, and then go out.

After that it will take care of itself, I promise.

Luminaire · 2013-04-14T22:22:22+00:00

You will get rejected, a lot. Even the best pickup artists in the world get rejected.

There are many reasons you can get rejected. You might not be their type at all, you might say something wrong, they might be in a bad mood, a guy might have been mean to them in the past, they might be crazy, maybe they don't like your shirt.

It really doesn't matter. For every girl that rejects you, and there will be plenty, you learn something.

You will find girls that won't reject you. Until then stop worrying about being rejected.

It will happen.

2013-04-15T01:54:52+00:00

Confidence is what we look for. If you're not confident on yourself, we're not going to notice you... People go through shit in life, and if a girl can't deal with that she is definitely not worth your time and energy.

jewdai · 2013-04-15T02:00:19+00:00

Do you have a college education? If you do you're only 1 out of 4 people in this country.

survivorboi · 2013-04-15T03:36:46+00:00

This is my few cents. Assuming that your fear of rejection is mainly towards women, my advice to you is don't approach women just yet. Forget about women for now and definitely forget about HBs. For now, my remedy for ya is to just approach GUYS. Sit down and take out your schedue. Find a time, specifically, to go sarging. Sarging here means walking up to guys and ask a question. Once you asked that question, you're good to go. Do that everyday (or however much time you can free) for a month. Say, ask FIVE random guys a neutral, non-gay, non-weird question. Once the month is over, analyze your current standing, and escalate if you can. Eventually, you'd want to approach women.

Personally, I think anything is doable if you break it down so small it's actually EASY to do. If you don't like FIVE, do 2 or 3. Then increase to 5 in a week or two.

EDIT: An example of a good question is just walk up to them and ask for direction. That's pretty neutral and basic, if you can ask a more involved question (like an opinion), I recommend that more.

jungle-boy · 2013-04-15T05:21:09+00:00

Salsa sauce had great life advice. Listen to it. Plus realize this, one day you're going to be dead. You won't be able to experience any happiness or life itself. You're dying right now. Do you really want to die without doing anything in your life? There is no tomorrow, only right now. So go out there and show the world who's king of the jungle!

edbenz · 2013-04-14T17:38:45+00:00

Read up on inner game. That's definitely you're weak point, work on it. Once you start improving your self-esteem, gaming will be more enjoyable.

TheOneGerman · 2013-04-14T19:20:46+00:00

You need to get your life back together before you think about going out with girls(no reason you have that little confidence) FIRST GET YOUR LIFE GOING Trust me you won´t be happier if you don´t ge your life right and girls sometimes don´t make your life happier Get a job, do a sport, move out of your parents house, Change your looks go out and buy new clothes get a new haircut. Change your life because your not happy how your living it now.

glt512 · 2013-04-14T19:46:08+00:00

sounds like some LSD could help your situation quite a bit. also meditation and yoga.

Title	I'm in a difficult position when it comes to picking up women. My story is inside and I'd like some advice please.
Author	KronoTheGod
Upvotes	55
Comments	38
Date	April 14, 2013 4:59 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1cbzd6/im_in_a_difficult_position_when_it_comes_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-in-a-difficult-position-when-it-comes-to.1350614 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350614

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