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[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 32 points33 points34 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
and it happened 2 more times this week
What?!? And you knew better, after the first time.
You don't really need to say anything. Just acknowledge her. Nod your head at her and smile. That is a modest start. You aren't really even taking action, you are just reacting to her presence. It doesn't get any easier than that.
[–]usaf9211 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Well the other two were in class, so it was different situationally. Honestly I fucked up on that from the start, should have introduced myself on day 1 but now since I didn't we just awkwardly make eye contact.
[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 12 points13 points14 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Right, this is why we emphasize immediate approaches, if you delay, it becomes awkward. She knows you hesitated. But you might still salvage it. The next time you see her and make eye contact, approach immediately. You could say something like "Hey I see you here all the time, I figured I should say hello."
But overall, you should learn the lesson and move on. And don't hesitate next time.
[–]usaf9211 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not until recently did I learn the importance of not hesitating and taking immediate initiative. It's been like this my whole life, I fail to jump on the first opportunity where it's NORMAL to become acquainted. Instead, I shot myself in the foot by forcing myself to come up with alternative introductions with a higher likelihood of sounding forced.
[–]B0BG0NEWILD5 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Look man you got to learn how to take risks, you’re interested in her so show it, there’s no point in trying to hide it. One way or another you have to break the ice, yah sure there’s going to be the inevitable hiccups here and there, some embarrassments, some regrets in the choice of words maybe but hey that’s part of life. Perhaps you notice she has a visible tattoo and you decide to break the ice by waiting for a good opportunity to compliment her visible tattoo, in which you plan on having some follow up questions about her tattoo that may hopefully lead to a short, casual conversation with her.
Worst case scenario she just gives you this crazy wtf you looking at look and thus you just back off and think about how you get to tell this crazy encounter to your friends later on and forget about it. After you get over it you start looking for the next one, rinse and repeat. You can do it.
Oh and don't act like you lost the only opportunities you will ever receive with this one, there will always be more in the future.
[–]danumition 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's already awkward? Fuck it then, you have nothing to lose.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebantha 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
....Honestly I fucked up on that from the start, should have introduced myself on day 1 but now since I didn't we just awkwardly make eye contact.
NO NO NO. Like Throwaway said..... You don't even need to assume that it has to be an introduction. You're going to far ahead even to assume that you need to do this much. Because what happens is that you think you need an opening and an amount of time necessary to get that introduction in there. Or whatever you assume needs to happen.
You just look at the WHOLE situation: because it's different every time. If one of you is in the middle of some repetitions, you don't need to break out some speech. Just head nod, smile, etc. to acknowledge their presence. Maybe say, "Hey there."
And you pay attention to her reaction. Even just this modest start, will give you information. Maybe she is dismissive. Obviously she wouldn't be worth your time. Maybe she breaks out in a smile. That would be better, obviously.
And this business that you're forever lost because you didn't do xyz on day one, this is utter BULLSHIT. People don't work that way. It's a gym. People know that others are there to do their workouts. So freaking what if you didn't open some girl on the first day? The only awkwardness is that you are CHOOSING to sit there and just look at her.
[–]cosdja 11 points12 points13 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Read title as: Keep eating pussy when you don't know what to say.
[–]CLT374 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well that could be a good solution.
[–]alex0919 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Classic invitation to approach when they position themselves near you, just remind yourself they want to talk to you when you do that.
But you need to be the man and initiate the dance, if you're attracted than just say "Hi" and let her know that you like how she looks and start getting to know her, push for the close, whatever that may be on a high point ("Hey, what're you doing after the gym? Let's go grab a drink." or "Hey, I need to finish up my work out because I have a meeting/a friend that wants to meet me soon, how about we continue our little chat over a drink sometime this week, when are you free?). Then depending on the situation, finish your workouts, and head out, push for the close on the date; or, handle logistics for the meet and get a meet, then push for the close then.
And do you think I know what the hell to say half the time besides an opener? I've said some stupid shit in openers, I've asked girls about calimari, I've called them out for looking at me and not saying Hi, I've simply told them they're pretty cute and I'd like to get to know them. There's a framework for a conversation that you learn from having them with others, and not looking at your phone. So consider that a girl a goal point and just opening her to be a success, you don't have to same day lay, then lead her to be your wife, there's probably another one you'll see the next day at the gym and will be psyching yourself out from.
The feeling of "what if" is so much worse than them rejecting you, I have so many stories because I've taken advantage of all the opportunities and approached girls that would've been, "Man... if I would've asked that one on a date/talked to her, etc...."
[–]Spaceman7Spiff 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I know that feel bro... maybe try a different tact: focus more attention on remaining relaxed throughout your day. Especially in stressful situations. I have found that it's not that I don't have enough to say, it's that I can't focus on starting a simple conversation because I'm too preoccupied with saying something stupid. I have, over time, proven to myself that I'm a smart, funny, cool guy that loves talking with other smart, funny, cool people. As soon as you relax, you win.
[–]RedRain1 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Big ups to this guy right here. Chicks dig me when I'm relaxed because I can think clearly enough to hold a conversation without saying something stupid. It's funny, how when you're consciously thinking about saying something stupid...you say something stupid or come off as socially awkward.
I gotta get back into reminding myself to relax to bring out that inner game/inner confidence.
[–]Tiki-Time 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd go with Damone's rule #3 here.
"Isn't this great"
http://youtu.be/fz2zVcO9Eus
[–]dhays2000 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Have you ever been successful in your pursuit? Some guys start off slower than other guys it's natural. Just talk to them like you talk to other people, just because she has a vagina does not mean you can't talk to her. If you think try one sentence, do it a few times write it down so you don't forget it. Hey that's a nice dress your'e wearing. ETC... women love flattery. I did that today complemented this "nice dress" I said to the woman at the doctors office. And she just about melted, "Wow thank you for the complement." and then she came over and sat next to me in the waiting room. We had a nice chat but I had to tell her I was married. I guess I still like the chase, but I don't fuck around on my wife.
[–]LaurenceB 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And that's called being a man. Good for you.
[–]dhays2000 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you Sir.
[–][deleted] 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]LaurenceB 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've picked up several women on te cardio machines in my gym, in similar scenarios to what you described. I looked at them, smirk, and say, "Wanna race? Ten bucks I kick your ass." They always laugh. It has never failed me, once.
[–]aznology 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fkkk that happened to me in a different situation just dam it ugghh anyways a game I started playing is paying attention to things that could be said so you will have an entire library of stuff to say next time that happen
[–]makingmyownfun 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
look into her eyes as if looking if the house her soul with a "hi"
td;rl: eyes and hi's
[–]DoctorBees69 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What the fuck are you tryin to say, man.
[–]makingmyownfun 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's simple. Heart felt gaze with a simple greeting. It all really boils down to how long you hold that gaze. You know when someone is digging you based on how they look at you. Just smile and say hi. I don't normally interrupt women when they're in a focused environment just to say hey, so compliment her shoes, or work out gear, or hair. Doesn't really matter, they get dressed up for you to notice them, so notice them and try to make them smile while you're at it and you'll do fine.
[–]DoctorBees69 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was just asking because the first sentence made no sense, plus tl;dr*
[–]braaap_2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Don't agonize over it man, you realize what you should have done and now you have to make a conscious effort to approach next time. The feeling of what could have been is far worse than rejection any day. Get back out there
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[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 32 points33 points34 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]usaf9211 6 points7 points8 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]usaf9211 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]B0BG0NEWILD5 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]danumition 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebantha 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cosdja 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CLT374 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alex0919 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Spaceman7Spiff 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RedRain1 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tiki-Time 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dhays2000 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]LaurenceB 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dhays2000 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LaurenceB 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aznology 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]makingmyownfun 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]DoctorBees69 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]makingmyownfun 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DoctorBees69 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]braaap_2 points [recovered] | Copy Link