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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
step 1: stop being a pussy
if you try to bend your behavior and personality to avoid exposing yourself and your intent , you'll never get anywhere.....
I'm guessing there's 1000s of students at your schools... no one gives a fuck about you... do they know who you are now?
well guess what, they still won't know you or give a fuck about you, even if you're labeled " the weird,awkward guy that approaches girls"
get out of your head...your not the spotlight of peoples worlds(in a good way)... as long as you don't cause any serious harm to a girl... no one will give a fuck... your failed approaches will be forgotten in the waves of time within a instant... in your mind and everyone else's
[–]sexually_available 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Don't tell her your name until she's giving you her number?
[–]VHStape101 7 years ago [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
Sounds good, I'm just insanely paranoid about, well, everything. But how would I keep it short + simple? "Hi, I thought you were cute, could I have your number?" Please keep in mind I'm a complete noob.
[–]ntipz0112 points 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You won't get anywhere with that. This is not enough to attract someone. Small talk for a while, be funny, invite her for a date. Don't bother trying to take her number unless she or you is in a rush and has to be somewhere.
[–]sexually_available -2 points-1 points0 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Idk man, I generally don't think cold approach is fair to people who are trying to get on with thier day. Like I wouldn't like it if a dude came up to me for no reason other than to get his dick wet, unless he was really fucking charming.
Maybe look out for girls who smile at you or make meaningful eyecontact or something
[–]TheXXL 7 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Have you ever heard of the word "no"? Or when someone walks up to you, using the action called: "ignore"?
Is it really that Trauma inducing that there are other people, and they also might Want to talk to you... You have such a horrible life...
[–]sexually_available -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It's not traumatic, it's just like... annoying and off putting. Like if I want someone to approach I'll smile or generally give some indication that its chill.
Also you can tell by how someone is walking if they don't want to be bothered. Like if I'm clearly in a rush and someone stops me for no real reason it's annoying. You would be annoyed too.
If I'm chilling in "tourist mode" it's more acceptable, but like, it's still walking into my life uninvited. So whoever is doing that should keep thst concept in mind.
And I would never ignore someone in the street if they come up to me. What if someone is injured or they know me or just need a lighter or something? I need to get the story before being a total dick. I don't assume everyone who talks to me wants to get in my panties.
[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Well I was being sarcastic, but thank you for providing your viewpoint (This one is not sarcastic)
Well, I usually don't get annoyed by people asking me things, but I am not a girl, so i don't get agitated by people as much, and I am being asked for directions or things like that on a regular basis. Also, i agree on that it is hard to get someone to be receptive if they are in a hurry, but if you believe it or not, it works, I know that from experience.
If I'm chilling in "tourist mode" it's more acceptable, but like, it's still walking into my life uninvited.
Did you notice that you being in a public space means that you will be interacted with by people "uninvited into you life"? I mean this sounds terribly entitled and super dramatic. How is someone who talks to you for 10 seconds by any means "in your life"?
So whoever is doing that should keep thst concept in mind.
I agree that there are a lot of bitchy women out there that cannot control their emotions towards strangers who have no ill intent, thats life and the majority of men I know, are aware of that and can handle that. This is called having thick skin.
Wait what? Didn't you just claim that people should not talk to you because you are in a hurry? Make up your mind girl. The thing here is this: If a guy comes up to you, and you feel attracted to him, you will not be bitchy, but if he isn't you will be. I call this being an asshole, while it would be so much easier to say the following words: "I am not interested, thank you." and then walk away. I do that all the time when I pass those guys and girls who want to sell me one of those subscriptions for some heal the world project bullshit, and I get that at least 3 times a week.
Grow some thicker skin, and accept that you are not a princess that cannot be bothered, at least this is how you display yourself here. There are a lot of ways to counter unwanted interaction, but bitching about it and telling others to not do it, won't work, no matter how entitled you feel about it.
Oh and if you feel I am wrong in any point, please correct me, I am basing this mostly of how you seem to behave.
[–]sexually_available 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think you've jumped to some conclusions. Let me break down what I mean more clearly because we probably ultimately agree.
If anyone walks up to me in the street and starts talking, I will hear them out (unless I am actually late for something already, in which case I'll tell them that and apologise). I talk to them because I don't know what they want yet and I'm not going to assume its something unimportant. It's rare for strangers to talk in my country so it's usually important or urgent or something. Plus, it's impolite to just walk off without even checking. Like, no, people shouldn't talk to me unless it's for a good reason, like, "you dropped this" or "are you carrying any spare tampons?"
I'm not going to ignore them, but I am annoyed if they approached for no reason. That's not contradictory.
So approaching to flirt is like... yeah, annoying.
Even if I'm not in a rush. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood. I don't want to flirt. Even if the guy is super hot. It doesn't matter. Do you really never just want to be left alone when you're walking down the street? It's not like I strut around I'm just walking and thinking in my own little space.
Admittedly, sometimes I am in the mood to get approached and I try to make that distinction with my body language and how I'm dressed. Then whoever is approaching is more likely to be successful. Hell, sometimes I approach if I'm getting positive signals from them. But there's got to be that communicated openness to talk. Through eye contact and how I'm walking etc
Do you really never have days when you feel self conscious and you kind of just want to get on with things and avoid extra stress? Do you feel like getting up in a stranger's face 24/7? Do you feel like dealing with that pressure every damn second? Or would that be entitled?
All I'm saying is sometimes getting approached is annoying and a bit intrusive. But if you want to approach then look for signals to do so. What's wrong with that?
[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Actually, i give you that, you are probably right.
If anyone walks up to me in the street and starts talking, I will hear them out (unless I am actually late for something already, in which case I'll tell them that and apologise).
That sounds very polite
I talk to them because I don't know what they want yet and I'm not going to assume its something unimportant. It's rare for strangers to talk in my country so it's usually important or urgent or something. Plus, it's impolite to just walk off without even checking. Like, no, people shouldn't talk to me unless it's for a good reason, like, "you dropped this" or "are you carrying any spare tampons?"
I agree with that
Well... actually they have a reason, maybe not the reason you would like, but they have nontheless.
So approaching to flirt is like... yeah, annoying. Even if I'm not in a rush. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood. I don't want to flirt. Even if the guy is super hot. It doesn't matter.
Ok, i didn't think of that, ver y good point.
Do you really never just want to be left alone when you're walking down the street? It's not like I strut around I'm just walking and thinking in my own little space.
I do feel like that a lot, but frankly, I rarely get approched when i am not in the mood, people generally feel intimidated by my appearance alone, and feel even more scared when I have bad mood since my face tells them "talk to me and you will die"...
Very well said.
Thank you for clearing that up. Your text felt off at first, but I probably just got it through the wrong filter.
Well, signals are very vague, and what someone calls signals, is nothing for others. Also Like I said, knowing from experience, someone who doesn't send signals can be very happy to meet me, sure in general I try to avoid wasting my time by talking to a girl that is obviously in a rush or looks like I do when I want to be left alone .
So, in any case, thank you for sharing your perspective, and clearing it up. It sounds a lot more relatable this way, and If i was offensive to you, I apologize.
[–]sexually_available 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, I wasn't expecting you to cross examine my every sentence so I didn't put a fuck load of effort in when I probably should have lol. But yeah, I mostly agree with you tbh just I'm a bit trash at communicating sometimes. Thanks for being reasonable tho
[–]TheXXL2 points 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thanks for being reasonable tho
I try my best
[–]Funkimonkey 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just don’t overdo it. A few approaches here and there and no one will notice. If you try approaching one to the next in the same spot of campus, sure. Just wander around to different parts of campus as you do it and NO ONE will notice.
[–]ntipz0111 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You know, worst that will happen is that people will call you out for pursuing girls (booo no man ever did that).
It's gonna be embarrassing at first if you want to learn game, deal with it. Good thing is that you will also learn that it doesn't matter anyway, and that there's nothing to be embarrassed of.
Tbh I think you have inner game problems to solve, the fact that you shouldn't give a fuck about what others think and that it's okay to pursue girls, to name a few.
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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sexually_available 0 points1 point2 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]VHStape101 [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]ntipz0112 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]sexually_available -2 points-1 points0 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]sexually_available -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]sexually_available 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]sexually_available 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Funkimonkey 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ntipz0111 point [recovered] | Copy Link