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[–]zoyzause 24 points25 points26 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your job, your status isn't what is going to attract women. I've dated women while I was unemployed, etc.
It's confidence. It's are you a fun person, does this girl have fun around you? Sure some women will only date a guy for status, but fuck that.
You don't need those things to meet women, you're having limiting beliefs. What are your passions in life? What do you love to do? That's what women want in a man.
What are your hobbies? You can meet women through that. Make friends, start talking to people after class. See if people want to hang out. If you're in college "hey I have some time in between class let's go grab some coffee real quick".
If you were bullied in high school, now is the chance to reinvent yourself. High school is a different world.
[–]tretchman 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d have to respectfully disagree man. Some girls don’t care too much about status, but I’ve been around a lot of girls who most certainly care about what you have going for you. Maybe it’s just because I live in Southern California, idk, but a lot of the girls in my age group (21+) consider what you have going for you when deciding on whether to date you or not. It doesn’t mean you have to be a millionaire engineer working at Silicon Valley, but whether/where you go to school, what job you have, etc. are things many girls I’ve been around care about. Of course it’s not the only thing, but I’d have to say that status/job is one of many things that can attract or detract a woman That said, being an unemployed student isn’t a “bad” status. In fact, it’s the norm for many people in their early 20s. At my university the girls don’t really care about what job you have, as long as you’re a student at least
[–]OppressedKoreanMale 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well said
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I want to believe you. I’ve got hobbies, passions, even though I don’t meet people through them.
Because when I think about inviting somebody to a coffee I just imagine them saying "no sorry" and looking at me in a weird way, kind of like the fear of getting rejected by a woman, but now it’s potential friend. Also I tell myself that these were the same generation of people that I couldn’t make friends with and it blocks me. I’m always afraid of a random "you’re shy/you don’t talk much/sex life questions"
Ah shit maybe you’re right and I’m full of limiting beliefs. I’ll think about what you said
[–]zoyzause 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Look at it this way. Let's pretend they reject you... So what? So fucking what? It doesn't change ANYTHING. it doesn't change who you are as a person. Worst that happens is they say no and you don't hang out. That's literally worst case scenario.
Guess what? By not asking you're literally doing your WORST CASE SCENARIO. You can only go up from here. Even if everyone doesn't hang out, you can at least feel good about yourself that you fucking tried. And if someone doesn't want to hang? Fine, next!
Because I guarantee you, there are people on the campus just looking for someone to hang out with and friends, but they're too afraid to put themselves out there. Your job is to find them and pay no mind to those who who say no for whatever reason. In most cases it's not even personal, people have stuff going on, etc.
Don't let inaction stop you. Remember you can't control people's reactions, you can only control yourself. And by taking action you can say you're ahead of most and got yourself out of your comfort zone, and who knows you may meet some great friends or a really great girlfriend through this. But you need to take the first steps.
[–]autmnleighhh 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro, if you can’t even see the value in yourself, no one else will.
Maybe you should re-evaluate what your personal definition of “value” is.
Every person on this planet has some sort of value.
Also, I think it’d be worth your time to ask yourself why you want a girlfriend. Do you want arm candy? Do you want a partner on your journey? Do you want someone to care for? Do you want someone to care for you? Do you just want someone to hang with and share ideas? Are you seeking intimacy? Are you seeking emotional intimacy? Are you seeking a reliable source of physical intimacy?
Just to be clear, I don’t think there are any “wrong” answers (excluding wants with malicious intent). Knowing exactly what you’re looking for, and what you’re not, will help you find that which you seek.
And just some extra unrequested insight: I’ve noticed that people who live a mostly solitary life have issues with compromise. I suggest some inner reflection to see if that rings true for you. In every relationship, romantic or otherwise, compromise is a requirement. Just something to chew on.
Also also,
I could be very wrong, so correct me if I am, but it seems like you are...going about finding a girlfriend all wrong. You just used the broad term “women” to describe what you’re looking for. You gave zero specifics on the type of woman you’d be interested in. No mention of the kind of character traits you find attractive. It doesn’t seem like there is consideration for the emotional aspect of a relationship.
Again I could be reading this wrong, but your approach to companionship seems a little...cold. Like you’re in search of an item instead of a person. That’s just my opinion.
[–]Madhatter747 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Im the exact same. I talk to very quiet girls who don't have many friends either. It's cliche but you have to be more popular than your girl (hypergamy). So hit on anti social girls?!
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve met an anti social girl once from the internet and it was not beautiful. :/ She had problems, I had mine, we didn’t get along. But it may have been bad luck. Does it kinda work for you? (Even just friends)
[–]Madhatter747 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It worked considering i plated two and promoted the best one to LTR (been together 9 months)
[–]NextSpinach 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No one judges you for being a student. Women will happily attach themselves to a guy they think might go somewhere. Being an unemployed student is very different to being an unemployed 33 year old with no prospects.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your view on value is completely wrong. You don't gain value through material stuff. Instead, what gives you value are your personality and the type of relationship you've formed with the girl. If you have a fun personality and make sure that you have a man-woman relationship with the girl, your value as a sexual being will increase and you will be able to pursue a sexual relationship of an type with the girl.
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[–]zoyzause 24 points25 points26 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]tretchman 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]OppressedKoreanMale 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]zoyzause 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]autmnleighhh 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Madhatter747 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Madhatter747 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NextSpinach 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link