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[–]Nogoes30 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂 I’m sorry but that’s hilarious. Why did you go to the cops dude? It’s just her dad giving you shit.
[–]SerMyronGaines 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How old are you OP, and how old were the girls you approached (as an estimate)?
Also JFC, learn social calibration.
[–]Titanruss 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why would you go hit on a girl in front of her father?
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I’m a dad, I don’t think it’s about incest, but something a lot more deeper called “I’m a man, I know what men do with/think about girls, but THAT one is my daughter, so GTFO” or something very close to this.
Also, OP didn’t declared his age, the age of the girls he approached and HOW he approached them. If you’re a dad, and a creep goes near your 12-15yo daughter, you instantly become deadly dangerous even if you’re usually calm like a Zen master.
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If you have Zen-like calmness but you start a deadly confrontation over a misunderstanding, is it really Zen?
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The Zen gets obfuscated when you do dad-op.
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sorry my original comments about the dad were out of line.
Keeping cool is the best policy 99.9% of the time. Death threats made in the absence of any real danger are bad news. You might intimidate the other guy and get away with it. Or you might get charged with a felony and get red flagged. Or the guy that you threaten might be as "obfuscated" as you ... or has friends ... and then it's on. In that case, given that it started with a death threat, the best possible outcome is a brutal beating for one guy and criminal charges and lawsuits for the other guy. The worst case is death for one and hard time for the other.
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I totally agree. I grew up on the streets (you know, pre-internet and home gaming consoles era), I know what you mean about reacting/violence with random dudes out there. I got (and sometimes put others as well) into troubles, lol.
I also have (a bit?) exaggerated/joked about the fact of being a dad of a daughter. In reality, when you hang out with kids, reactions end on both the extreme edges: you avoid confrontation (and problems) at all, or the situation requires immediate violence (if there aren’t other solutions).
[–]Dmamodels 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tough set, move on to the next one..
[–]sumimigaquatchi 6 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
What is btw the definition of 'harassment'? Note that I'm bit socially timid, still a virgin and did not have any experience with women. I'm not aggressive, want to make comfort and friends first... don't understand why some men become so aggressive.
[–]smoothmax 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think that the guy sized you up and correctly guessed that he could get away with a bit of gratuitous bullying. Based on your age, size, and peaceful vibe.
He's an idiot in my opinion not so much for being angry (although losing your cool is never a good plan) but for coming out with a death threat.
It's impossible to be involved with women without sooner or later running into idiots (guys and girls). All I can say is, check out the video with Jonathan manwhore and memorize the part about de-escalation. You can practice the technique almost every day when people like your Mom, your boss or your professor give you shit.
Here is what calibration means: some PUA coaches teach the "1 second rule" of doing immediate approaches. But others say, take a bit more time to evaluate the girl and: guess her age and status, figure out her relationship to the people around her, watch what happens if other guys approach her, and decide on what type of approach to make (direct, indirect, dance moves, smile)
Check out this video. The part about defusing confrontations starts at around 11:00 minutes.
https://youtu.be/OmI9r7Py4tk
He uses the term "mirror" or "net" for how you should react to someone who's freaking out and in your face but I don't think those are the best analogies. Mirroring usually means when you imitate someone's emotional state but in this case you do the opposite. You respond to an angry or hysterical person by being completely calm and stone faced. It's practically impossible for someone to maintain a hysterical emotional state when other people fail to give them an emotional reaction.
[–]SerMyronGaines 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice video, I've seen this concept being referred to in different ways by different people (e.g. I've seen it being called "composure", "presence", "centredness", "integrity", "authenticity", "maintaining frame" etc) but it's always good to get a rule-refresher on it
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harassment
According to Wikipedia and to your story, you didn’t harassed anyone.
The reaction you experienced is not the norm. Maybe he was drunk or over jealous of his daughter. Being a dad, I can understand his feelings to some extent, not his reaction.
However your story lacks a lot of important details:
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[–]Nogoes30 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SerMyronGaines 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Titanruss 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 5 points6 points7 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dmamodels 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sumimigaquatchi [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SerMyronGaines 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link