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[–]caesarfecit 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
ABS - Always Be Screening.
Here's an observation I've noticed: The girls who are most in the "men only want one thing" frame are the ones who are most susceptible to "bad boys". Why?
Because they believe all men are putting on an act around her. "Bad boys" DGAF what she thinks (or at least appear to) and that's what grabs her attention. She can't help but invest some energy in trying to figure out whether he's for real or whether it's an act. They secretly thirst for a man they can't manipulate with sex, because that's their criteria for a "real man" (we can debate the wisdom of that, but that's what they think, deep down).
Which brings me to my next point. "Bad boys" don't shower women with validation or make their intentions obvious. What they'll do instead is sexually challenge a woman, but with the frame that they're just playing around (i.e. lack of overt intent). That's how they get the sexual tension going without overtly hitting on them. They'll frame her as either all talk, or "too nice". And then she starts challenging that frame by chasing him. I've done this, it works and often, so long as you do it right.
Now, an investment gap is opening up and her obsession/idealization script starts going. Now the "bad boy" can do no wrong (outside of doing something crazy). This appears to guys as Rules 1&2 because they don't see what happened before, how the script got flipped.
The secret to understanding women is that they're just as horny as we are, but they don't dare show that to a man because that feels like handing him the keys - surrendering control. So they play all kinds of head games on themselves and on men, because that's somehow simpler than learning some self-control and building self-esteem.
Another thing you should notice is all through this rant, "bad boys" is in quotation marks. The reason why is because women don't really want a legit bad boy. They might fantasize about getting gangbanged in a biker hangout but very few women actually want the reality of dating guys that fucked up. I've met the ones that do - the kind that date criminals and such, and they're red flag city. They prize strength so much (because of their internalized feelings of weakness and vulnerability) that their priorities are all out of whack and they can't hide it.
Therefore the secrets to being a "bad boy" are as follows:
Stop putting the pussy up on a pedestal. Once you've been around the block, you know that pussy ain't worth it if you have to jump through hoops and take shit, just to deal with a manipulative insecure woman who's mediocre in bed.
Start dealing with women as people. Why chase someone who doesn't even act like they want you?
Your most powerful tool for dealing with women is your outcome independence. Use it to have fun with women and feel them out. There's two types of women out there, women who need to feel pretty and women who need to chase. It's pretty easy to tell the two apart with only a little experience.
Don't let her call the shots. Rule #1 of being the "bad boy" women want is to not let her call the shots. That's what simps do.
Play the field. Having options is a lot easier and better than acting like you have options.
Control your dick or it controls you. The real secrets to being a "bad boy" is self-control and self-trust. "Bad boys" do not let their insecurites run them so they're not trapped up in their head. They also never chase female validation because they have self-control.
[–]tonytrj 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Woah, thanks for this. So about point three. So are girls that need to feel pretty the ones that don't post selfies all the time and have more personality. And the ones that need to chase are the ones that brag about getting hit on and mostly post selfies? Or could you elaborate on that please? Of course i know no one is just this or that. I imagine that they can be a mix of those two.
[–]caesarfecit 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Almost all women want to feel pretty, I could have rephrased it better. Some women want to chase sexually, because it allows them to feel in control and keeps them from losing their nerve. Some women need to be chased sexually because that's how they feel wanted and turned on. The ones that need to chase sexually respond more powerfully to the "bad boy" vibe, whereas the ones that need to chased want more direct attention - sexual tension turns them on rather than gets them anxious.
[–]Ramanticasf 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Umm... You know.. this.. could've been a ... Separate post. Jk. This is so insightful. Thanks xD.
[–]berttbeans996 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How do you know you’re attractive?
[–]Frankiedrunkie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same question I was asking myself when reading this post
[–]MuchoGrandeGenius 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You know
[–]Simp_Master1 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ride a motorcycle.
Do drugs.
Wear a leather jacket.
Have a cool hairstyle.
Be muscular.
Wear fitted clothes.
Have an exciting lifestyle filled with hobbies.
[–]bandsupjay -3 points-2 points-1 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
..? 🤦🏾
[–]revente 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dare to escalate, be unapologetic, polarise, don’t be afraid to lose her.
[–]Cornicemansolo 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Get a face tattoo, that will give you the vibe your looking for.
But seriously, bad boy vibe? Have you ever done anything to help you drew that vibe from, or are you really just wanting to fake it? Go do something dangerous, go start a fight, learn kickboxing, go walk alone at night through a really sketchy neighborhood, get a dirt bike and jump some shit, IDK but make it real. I don’t know you at all, I’m not coming to any assumptions about you but maybe your just a pussy compared to your friends and can’t fake the “bad boy vibe”. Maybe you shouldn’t try, maybe you won’t even like it. And maybe your not as good looking as you think. All I’m really saying is don’t fake it because it probably won’t work, make it real, or real enough to draw inspiration from, or do your own thing and stop giving a fuck about how well your friends do with the “bad boy vibe”.
[–]bandsupjay 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To me it’s just not giving a fuck. Stop caring so much about the best thing to say or how she will react. You can’t walk on eggshells when talking to women, just talk to her like shes your homie with some seduction. At the end of the day they’re human just like you bro. I get called a bad boy all the time, I don’t insult women or anything I just talk to them normally, keep a calm cool and collected masculine frame and just be me. Can’t be afraid to hurt her feelings or start acting nice/trying to impress her bro, every other guy does that. Just gotta be the person that doesn’t give a fuck how the interaction will go because theres millions of other girls out there. Keep a take it or leave it mindset and just ask yourself will this matter in a year from now
[–]jaildouaaa 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You know I originally tought id have a good laugh on this sub but some of the posts are just depressing so why not help a little.
Now, the best way to hookup with girls is through your friends. If you connect the dots, get the girls your firneds get to bring their own friends. They will feel safe and also youll have a way to contact them later (ask your friend or the people you were with for her name or whatever) if you dont get to hit right away. Also, dont work too hatd to get the girls attention it just makes them think youll fall in love with the slightest amount of affection.
With that in mind, when your at a bar or house party or get togheter or whatever the fuck. Start by payig attention. Try to see if a girl on the room is looking at you more than she should. Does she look away when shes caught or smile? Either way theres the one that wants you to go talk to her. Forget about the others. Try to initiate small contact to see if you repulse her lol. Also dont be creepy about it cause thats just weird.
Last things last, if you dont get to hit right away. initiate contact on instagram, fuck texts or things like that. Just follow them and youll see if she remembers you or not. Then just comment something out of nowhere on their story which hopefully makes her chuckle a bit. And your in bro text your way to seeing them at a get toghether or something. Bring her back to your place. And voila.
Hope this helps
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Shouldn’t be getting envious either, use that as fuel to get better. If you’re already in shape and have a purpose then you already answered your problem. You’re giving off needy energy and you’re lacking charisma. Bad boy vibes is just about the mindset you have, which is just not caring. It’s a lot of shit I could tell you but if you’re really serious about this just go on youtube and look up stuff about what attracts females, etc. To be honest bro I didn’t read all of what you said but the reason why you’re asking most of the questions is because you’re qualifying for her and making her the prize, whereas your friends are the prize and she’s qualifying for them. See the difference? They dont give a fuck if this girl likes them or not they’ll just move onto the next, but I feel as you on the other hand is scared to lose the girl rather than living in abundance
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i see what you mean, but, i've tried making myself "the prize" before and all that ended up was no girls chasing me, how am I supposed ot be the prize if no one wants me?
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being the prize is just a mindset to relieve pressure off yourself that you dont need to prove yourself to her and dont have to be the spotlight every minute. Because you are the prize. Doesnt mean you stop approaching
[–]ivestoppedworking 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I believe Danny Gonzalez has an informative song about this
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[–]caesarfecit 21 points22 points23 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]tonytrj 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]caesarfecit 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ramanticasf 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]berttbeans996 9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Frankiedrunkie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MuchoGrandeGenius 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Simp_Master1 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bandsupjay -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]revente 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cornicemansolo 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bandsupjay 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jaildouaaa 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ivestoppedworking 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link