Not into college hookup culture, what am I missing out on? [recovered]

VanessaChaland · 2021-04-11T04:38:42+00:00

You are *missing* out on STD's, shallow people, hangovers, more STD's, perhaps a DWI or two...and that's about it. You are on a good path...stay with it. :)

shaggy2gay · 2021-04-12T16:58:38+00:00

Yes, you are missing out. And the fact that you're asking this question on a seduction board suggests to me you already knew that answer.

I offer you my perspective from a place of experience and wanting to save you some pain. I was in basically your exact shoes - a virgin in my second year of college who was sort of discombobulated by the wild west social norms of being that age. I wanted my first time to be special in the same way you do. I wanted life to look like a romcom. I wanted to find "the right girl" and have everything glow around the edges.

It was a complete mistake. I regret all of it. I look back on high school and college and see dozens of girls throwing themselves at me who I didn't realize at the time were way out of my league. I did nothing about it. I sidelined myself. And rationalized it in a hundred ways. I was "different," above it all, "working on myself." Waiting for something perfect to fall into my lap without having to work for it. Being lazy, and afraid, and foolish.

My first time getting laid, I was blind drunk. It probably lasted two minutes. Barely remember it. I regret it 0%. Because it allowed me to move on from this stupid narrative of "The First Time" and start having an actual sex life. I've had "special" sex many times after that. I would not have been able to meet or sleep with those girls if I wasn't already adequately experienced with women.

I'm amazed that nobody else is giving you this message. The whole point of this area of learning is that it's an area that can be learned. That being good with women is a skill. Get good at it as soon as possible so that when you do meet the romcom girl, you won't fuck it up for yourself. Which, I'm sorry to break it to you, you almost certainly will if you haven't put in the miles with women in general.

You're in a situation you take for granted right now. You're surrounded by women, most of whom aren't tied down by serious romantic commitments. You all share the same context of going to the same school. You have access to social infrastructure that can do the heavy lifting for you in terms of introducing you to strangers - clubs, parties, class itself. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT. Don't be like me. Don't squander what you have right now. It only gets harder after you graduate. You will be way more reliant on dating apps and cold approach afterwards. Which are certainly fruitful but it's the difference between fishing with lures and fishing with dynamite.

Work on your goals, yes. But don't hide behind them. Face up to the workload ahead of you. Dating is brutal. It's an emotional gauntlet. But one that's worth running, and one you have to run. Which you already know.

0ld_Wolf · 2021-04-11T01:46:47+00:00

You are too focused on how important it is.

Hookup culture is a thing, but participation is voluntary. If you are a virgin and have no interest in it, then you do you and don't worry about it. Nothing wrong with that.

Speaking from experience, as someone who was more focused on being in a relationship instead of out having fun...I regret it. I feel like I missed out and have some catching up to do, and am finding that difficult.

My advice? If an opportunity comes up, make the most of it. But don't feel pressured to do anything you are not comfortable doing.

putcoolusernamehere · 2021-04-11T02:57:07+00:00

" I really have a path in mind for what I want to do, in fact I’ve outlined where I want to be and how to get there and have been confident in how to get there. I’m actively involved in academic clubs, and have a good standing as to where I want to be in general, working hard to where I need to be and just in general enjoy life right now and couldn’t be more happy with where I am. I truly have a passion for what im studying in college. I improve myself everyday, am always in the gym and feel healthy, I like to produce music as a side hobby, and genuinely love myself. (Not in an arrogant way)."

You've got everything most guys who are hyper-focused on girls should be focusing on before worrying too much about girls. r/seduction calls that "Inner-Game." Yours is top-notch, I'm jealous, you're someone's who mentally where I want to get myself in a year or two.

However, I'd give dating a go if I were you. A fit, career-oriented, fulfilled man has dating on easy mode. The fact that you don't even really care much about dating because you're so focused on yourself makes you all the more attractive to women. I know you might not be that into it now, but I really do think future you will regret not at least dating some in college. The reason being that college is the one time of your life where you're surrounded by open-minded & attractive women your age with an abundance of free time. As an adult, if I don't go to a college campus, even encountering an of-age girl I'd want to approach takes a lot of searching. It wouldn't hurt to at least ask a few girls out, and see for yourself if dating around is something that interests you... you know, you never know until you try. You don't have to get tied down or anything, but it's ridiculously easy to get a date in college if you just ask a few girls. Wouldn't hurt to at least go on one date, and maybe get that first kiss (or more).

And if you want your first time to be a special connection rather than a drunken hookup, give daygame (approaching women during the day not at places like bars) a try. It definitely is more conversation-driven then drunken physicality.

NoOutlandishness9892 · 2021-04-11T01:47:16+00:00

Nope. You do you! The upsides of your choice are: more savings, your skin will look better because you won’t ingest as much carbon dioxide - beer and sugary juices - as your pals, you will probably focus more on your hobbies and studies, get better grades and that will result in better internships, etc. The downside is that college is really the best time of your life to go down on girls without much prejudice haha. There is always that chance that you match with a nice group of pals that can network for you in the future for career purposes, but the important thing is for you to be you. I’m saying all of this because it doesn’t seem to bother you to be a “kissless virgin” and because you have friends, indicating you are like that by choice. If you were one of those lonely incel types, I’d suggest you to work on social skills and forcefully try to hang out more with your buddies.

princecome · 2021-04-11T03:59:56+00:00

I have noticed this one thing- women in 20s are attractive to everyone but men in their 40s are attractive to everyone cause men work hard and become something big, someone who's successful.

Responsible-Bike9047 · 2021-04-11T01:58:30+00:00

Please don’t change the way you are I literally love guys like you and trust me a lot of girls do too

bemore_ · 2021-04-11T02:48:39+00:00

Yeah it's normal, it's okay. You're missing out on nothing. Make the special moments happen then my friend

But you cannot avoid women, you must get experience. Women grow faster, they're expecting men not a boy with a career. There is no way you can properly understand yourself as a man without understanding women in relation, they are after all our complement

NoOutlandishness9892 · 2021-04-11T03:57:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Delicious-Bed2469 · 2021-04-11T15:25:02+00:00

You're missing out on nothing. There is more to life than getting trashed, making bad decisions and treating people and yourself badly. Stay focused on the important things.

yaboijimbo123 · 2021-04-11T18:46:44+00:00

If you’re not interested, you’re missing nothing

somebodyspapa · 2021-06-15T01:32:01+00:00

You are missing out on life and will feel so cheated if you end up marrying a woman from hookup culture later in life

iron_ee · 2021-04-11T15:24:43+00:00

stds

NoOutlandishness9892 · 2021-04-11T10:32:19+00:00

You need to start getting invited to parties. If not this, you need to get involved in student activities other than boring academic clubs.

Title	Not into college hookup culture, what am I missing out on? [recovered]
Author	NoOutlandishness9892 [recovered]
Upvotes	26
Comments	60
Date	April 11, 2021 1:32 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mohk6u/not_into_college_hookup_culture_what_am_i_missing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-into-college-hookup-culture-what-am-i-missing.1512401 https://theredarchive.com/post/1512401

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