I was reading a post by a female looking to pickup a guy in a coffee shop. Although she didn't know how to approach (first approach ever?) she did mention something worth noting.

"I'm attractive and in good shape, so it's not like I'm going to scare him off but I can't seem to work up the courage to approach him."

In her mind, simply because she is 'attractive and in shape' she believes she's worth being with, or in other words, entitled to his company.

Although the dynamics and values between men and women are different, the point here is that she has some sense of entitlement due to rather minor and simple factors,. Neither of which have to due with personality, Although they could.

I think that this community really overestimates what is required to 'be attractive'. All this "be alpha, nonreactive, be funny, lead, etc, etc, etc" really is doing more harm than good particularly to the noobie demographic. In reality, to get a gf, all that is required is a belief that you are worth talking to, thus giving you the confidence to approach and hold a conversation long enough to extend the interaction into the following days.

Sure, all these other principals are great, particularly if your trying to convey your personality quickly for a one night stand. However, I think its important to realize that these are not the prerequisites for attraction to take place. Having a much more simplified list of personal values/prerequisites, should be more than enough to give you the confidence to go out an meet whomever you are seeking.

EDIT: it seems like people are missing the point here. What I was hoping to convey is that people tend to think they are not enough. The have a long list of goals and skills that need work before they are worthy of "just chatting" with a girl. If everyone was to understand that regardless of their current level of mental/physical/emotional maturity, how you view yourself is a choice. If you had a belief system that you are valuable just the way you are, perhaps simply because of your attitude that wants to improve your life, that alone could be all you need to chat with someone without feeling the need to impress them.

I understand this is a pickup forum and we are not talking about "just chatting". But in my opinion, if you can't walk up to a girl in a store, coffee shop or bar, and casually strike a conversation without feeling some sort of anxiety, it my be worth at understanding why you feel the way you do. Girls are our friends, mothers, sisters and lovers. Not our opponents. When you we can truly understand that we are of are equal value and do not 'need work' to be entitled to a women, you'll instantly have a much stronger foundation to build comfort and intimacy.

TLDR: go ahead and improve your life, but understand no matter what stage you are at, you are enough. Don't aim to be funny, alpha, or impressive in anyway. You don't need to prove anything. That type of over compensation will blow yourself out, and it's all related to your own self-perception.