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Dunch3202
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[–]famineofcrows 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not even sure it's as easy as just escalating!
Ages ago, a really hot girl who was half my age and only just legal where i live (wouldn't be in the US) opened me on tinder - basically with a pickup line!
I done some investigating and was able to confirm she was real. In fact, a friend of my cousins daughter.
I asked her for her number. She gave me it. Texted her and had some usual chit chat, and then I asked her if she wanted to come over/meet, and then she went cold almost instantly. Confusing since she was the one who opened me, lol
I wasn't able to recover the situation either, unfortunately. Would have been happy to never get laid again if I had have got her! :( Super hot and super young.
[–]Alfred1844 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sonunds like a blueballer. Move on.
[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
doesn't really reply to my teasing and/or compliments.
How often do you compliment her? and what are you complimenting? Girls are used to get compliments on a daily basis, you cannot stand out if you are constantly tell her how beautiful she is, how cool she is or whatever. Teasing is a good way to get her into a fun mood though, if she understands that it's just teasing of course.
I know that I should ask her out and stuff, but she still lives in my hometown, and university is 120km away from there, so planning a date isn't so easy...
Then you should only take her as means of practicing your text game. Try things out, make notes on things that worked, try other things, fail, start over etc. Don't expect to even meet her for a date, and you will be much more open and experimental.
It has happened before to me that girls where asking for MY number, after which we chatted for a bit and things ended up nowhere.
I am sure you are doing the same thing over and over. There is a saying: "Madness is to always do the same, but expect a different outcome". Change your texting behavior, experiment.
I know that I'm doing something wrong, maybe not escalating quickly enough,
What is there to escalate? You can't touch her, let alone have sex with her, which is the goal of escalation.
but I don't have the means to escalate it to a date for example,
exactly.
in this particular case.
In all cases. Sure you can get a date, but you cannot escalate to sex.
Where should I deviate from my current game, and where's the mistake I always seem to make? Hope you guys can help me...
If you supply is with text examples, we can help you, but with just stating you do something wrong...
Ok, what you can try: IN your next conversation you probe out if she responds to sexual innuendo. If she does, get more sexual by hinting sexual things. For instance if she says something you could see as a sex reference, and pretty much most things can be seen as such, you call her out on being a typical woman, always thinking about sex. Look how she reacts to it. If she's playing along, you go one step further. Get more obviously sexual by asking her something about sex, like: "i heard women like sex even more than men, how do you think about it?" If she plays along, great, go into detail, ask her about her most adventurous place she had sex at.
When all goes fine, you put in here and there some flirting and she still plays along, she hints at being attracted to you and all, you can be bold and go in for something more, like: "damn... if you knew what i would do to you if you were here...". If she bites, tell her in detail how you will seduce her. I have done this a few times with girls that were attracted and we simply could not meet up for some reason, and when she replied that she wanted to hear about it, i knew it was on. So i explained in detail how i would look at her, take her head, pull her in, kiss her... you get the point. One girl mentioned later she was masturbating to my story haha, so try things out and be bold while always watching her reactions. One more thing i read that worked extremely well, you tell the girl a story where you go for drinks, have great sexual tension and when you leave the bar, you pull her into an alley, push her against the wall and fuck her there.
[–]Dunch3202 9 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow man, thanks! Indeed will use this particular one just for experimenting, good idea! I would love to supply you guys with samples, but the convo happened in another language ;). Furthermore, the masturbation story is great! How do you know when you can say something similar the way you did? There surely has to be some IOI in a sexual way, to which a sexual tinted convo will have followed, after which you can say that. The point is, I would love to have such a convo, but I can't achieve it because she won't let me. Note: she is rather young as well, and not quite experienced. Thanks again man for taking so much time for helping me out! Some good fucking advise in there!
[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Furthermore, the masturbation story is great! How do you know when you can say something similar the way you did? There surely has to be some IOI in a sexual way, to which a sexual tinted convo will have followed, after which you can say that.
Well, it is mostly instinct and a big portion of being bold. If you talk for some time, you will inevitably come to a point where you talk about ex girlfriends/boyfriends, overall experiences with relationships. The most important part is to be as open with sexuality as you can, not holding back with it. It's who you are.
Also make sure she knows you will never judge her. I told her about a girl i knew that was very very sexually open, and what kind of crazy adventures we had together, i mostly hinted at it without detail. She was curious, and i called her out on being "a typical woman, always thinking about sex." she liked it, it was funny and it showed i was comfortable talking about it. at one point i was asking about the most crazy place she had sex, she told me it was too personal, and i got back to some lighter talk, while hinting at sex at every opportunity. At some point she just told me she wanted to answer my question.
Then i knew, she's ready for sex talk. We exchanged sexual experiences and some light fantasies, and at one point i thought i would simply tell her that i want her now, so i said to her "if you knew what i would do to you now if you were here".
The point is, I would love to have such a convo, but I can't achieve it because she won't let me.
You have to lead her into it, be bold at some points to progress, and she needs to trust you. Women love talking about sex, (had a conversation about sex toys with a female friend i know for 20 years now, and at one point she said: "wow, whatp happened, now we are here talking about sex toys..." haha) if they trust the person they talk to. Just go from fluff talk to telling some cool stories, best if you mention a girl with you as in: "i was out with a girl one day, at this cool bar, and there was this dude, he was .... bla bla bla." Now she will think: "who was that girl? his date? a friend? his girlfriend?" and if she is interested she will want to know more about it, so maybe shill will ask "do you have a girlfriend?" had this once with a girl i was hitting on very hard, it's funny how it was not obvious that i was single...
If you get away with subtle sexual hints, and then get more overt and she is still talking to you, maybe even going along with it, you know you can proceed to get more and more overt, like asking her if she ever has had sex in a pool, or a beach and how she liked it.
Note: she is rather young as well, and not quite experienced.
The girl i was talking about was also really inexperienced, she had one boyfriend for 10 years or so, and it was a long distance relationship. Also shy, (she honestly referred to her pussy as: "down there" and was going crazy when i talked dirty to her) but after some time, showing her it's natural to talk about sex, being open with it, and i wasn't judging (it probably helped that i mentioned female friends telling me about their sexual adventures and having multiple guys in short time frames) she opened up, more and more.
Thanks again man for taking so much time for helping me out! Some good fucking advise in there!
You are welcome, and i am happy to help. If you have more questions, feel free to PM me.
[–]G_Refined 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This wasn't a good example because you couldn't set up a date anytime soon. In another scenario where the girl lives closer, instead of just getting her number to chat more, get her number in anticipation of hanging out. The progression should have went snap convo>Set up plans>get phone number>confirm plans via text/phone call>Hang out. If you're losing interest from texting before you ever get to hang out, don't text as much and set up plans faster those two things should definitely help.
[–]Dunch32022 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
THIS is some good solid advise. Thank you for your explanation. The 'ladder' is really helpful, thank you man!
[–]StewedJesus 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If a girl asks for your number that is quite a big IOI... They are rarely this forward (if she is not asking for some mundane reason like asking you the recipe of the wonderful pie your granny baked and you took somewhere).
Texting is really difficult tough and I think it should be kept to a minimum and used mainly for logistics (ok... a couple of texts in the beginning, but then ask for a date).
If it is not possible to set a date then you should next and blame, for once, bad luck...
I am not saying it isn't possible to keep an interest for a month or so, but that it can perfectly happen that she loses interest in the meantime.
On a sidenote, in my younger days sometimes I managed to use email for creating and mantaining interest up to the point where, when meeting, the situation was completely polarized (we get into a LTR or we never see each other nor talk again)... But texting... Too short to convey any deeper stuff and too invasive in the same time. In my opinion.
[–]Dunch32021 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I am aware that it is a major IOI, but as always I succeeded to fuck up. I think that I chat way too much, but that could be because in the past I've built strong attraction and affection by chat. This of course only counts for just a handful of girls, so next time I will try to limit it. Thanks for the solid advise, man!
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[–]famineofcrows 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Alfred1844 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dunch3202 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]G_Refined 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Dunch32022 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]StewedJesus 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Dunch32021 point [recovered] | Copy Link