At 19 I started to actively talk to girls after my first almost girlfriend approached me. We were seeing each other for a few months, she was my first kiss, after we broke it off I was devastated and then I found a new girl, fucked her the day I met her, fucked her 4 times afterwards, she told me she wasn't looking for anything and left as well. Met another girl, kiss closed her the first date, second date we agreed we had no chemistry and she left too.

At this point I was starting to feel like I was shit and was destined to never meet a girl. I kind of gave up on the approaching, never wanted to go out to do night game (I actually hate night game, even when I do well. I'm more about daygame, but I do night anyway.) so during my phase of "giving up", I got Tinder and I swipe about 25% of the time, I get about 6 matches per day, and I have many dates set up this week, I have 2 dates in one day sometimes too..

I was on the bus today thinking about what all this abundance does for me, I thought it'd make me happy to have so many girls in my life but I'm still unhappy. I'm not happy with all the girls I have dates with that I'll turn into f or k-closes. I'm just not happy with who I am as a person. The sad part is that I thought if I had lots of girls on rotation I'd finally find the key to being happy, I thought that a girlfriend would make me happy but that's not even what I'm looking for anymore, I need to work on myself more. The problem? I don't know what to do to work on myself.

I play guitar, I work out, hangout with my friends, work, etc. I keep busy, I don't know what more I want to do right now besides travel, move out, get tattoos which I don't have the money for. I don't know HOW to work on my inner game. I'm glad I've taken a big step in realizing that girls aren't as special as I've been making them out to be, but what's next?