First night out 0 approaches

kostasbras · 2019-11-23T08:29:56+00:00

Recognizing and accepting the situation is the first step. You are better than the average, congrats.

But now you have to destroy your ego. Keep consistency, and remember "the moment I say hi, I ve already won"

GG

DanJDare · 2019-11-23T13:01:23+00:00

If you struggle talking to girls you probably just have a problem talking to people. Try talking to anyone / everyone.

dminguez26 · 2019-11-23T14:30:12+00:00

I’m completely get where you are coming from. My problem is I give to much of a fuck what people think. I need to let loose and live with no worries. Easier said than done for me though unfortunately

DMV_Habibi · 2019-11-23T13:46:15+00:00

Get an experienced wingman to come with you

MrQualtrough · 2019-11-23T18:46:28+00:00

That is normal. Instead of trying to force yourself to walk up to strangers sober and hit on them, get used to saying things to strangers in general... If you're at the convenience store, maybe add one extra line of dialogue to the cashier, nothing sexually charged, literally just small talk. Even if it's just "hi how are you?" rather than "hi". Build up from there. Ask people on the street for directions, old ladies, whatever. Don't hit on them. Just some casual excuse.

The idea is exposure therapy, and you gradually build from the starting position. CBT uses the same technique to treat social anxiety disorder with a couple of extra additions.

Ignore PUA advice since they are not qualified to speak on these topics. There is a somewhat obscure PUA guru who is also a doctor, and he appeared at a David DeAngelo seminar (David D sucks ofc) and he covered this topic, and as a qualified professional, he covered it CORRECTLY - and discussed when someone may need medication, CBT, and all that good stuff.

carnesaur · 2019-11-24T04:11:24+00:00

Befriend the bartender buy don't cling to them. Make sure you're starting out far away from home. You wanna save the close places for when you're more polished. Plus if you fuck up you never have to go there again vs the local places you're bound to revisit

ChrisDarmount · 2019-11-24T08:08:28+00:00

Actually, you’re not a coward. This is really normal. When dealing with approach anxiety, you often have to go out for a week or more and try to approach but fail. I think this is something the trips a lot of guys up. They feel like if they go out, they have to approach and if they don’t approach they made no progress. But in fact, the path to getting over approach anxiety starts with going out a bunch of times and trying to approach and failing.

One thing you are doing wrong though, Is calling yourself a failure. That actually does mess with you a little bit. It’s basically a reverse affirmation. You’re brainwashing yourself just a little bit each time you say that to think less of yourself, and to hold yourself and behave in a way that shows other people to think less of you.

Title	First night out 0 approaches
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	8
Date	November 23, 2019 8:26 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e0f753/first_night_out_0_approaches/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-night-out-0-approaches.1484479 https://theredarchive.com/post/1484479

Comments