So this is a post to help guys in general, but specifically those who have had to deal with past losses, and how to turn them to your advantage. But first, my little story.

So about three years ago I got my heart broken by a girl who I believed was perfect, but turned out to be a lying, cheating, manipulative bitch. And after three years of ignoring my existence, she messages me telling me the guy she cheated on me with broke up with her for another girl, and how sorry she was for hurting me. I knew I was a Plan B for her at this point, so amid the chaos of my sadness, past love and anger, I messaged her back telling her the truth, I can't trust her, and she broke me, so she doesn't deserve my forgiveness. Anyway, we messaged back and forth a bit, one thing led to another, and I told her i'd give her a chance, but I'd keep her on a short leash, and she'll have to work so hard to regain even a sliver of my trust.

I'm now waiting for my schedule to clear up, and to give me and her time to think before we meet, but in the meantime I was panicky, terrified, sad and excited all at once. It was a cocktail of shitty emotions, and I didn't want to be left alone to my thoughts after all this.

So I called an old booty call of mine asking if she was free tonight. As it turned out she was going out to dinner with some friends, so I thought fuck it, I'll tag along. I went for the express purpose of getting her to fuck me to get some instant gratification, but the evening turned out much better than I expected.

I was expecting myself to sit quietly, not interact, and generally be a grade A bitch, but at least it would be a distraction from my thoughts. Until I realized doing that would be no distraction at all. Here I was, at a dinner surrounded by cute girls and one other guy. I simply did what I wanted to, because in my mind, there was no way I could feel worse from it. So I practiced my game, and goddamn, did it work. I kino'd, I shifted my attention so everyone felt included, I dominated the conversation because of my energy levels, and I even got told of for staring because I was keeping eye contact with one girl so hard it made her blush. She was the cutest one there, too. I walked away with three new numbers and a date set up for tomorrow.

Fortunately, my streak didn't end there. Next day was a birthday party of a close friend of mine, and I helped out by taking photographs of the party, partially because I didn't buy her a birthday present, mostly because people seemed insistent on gossiping about my recent action with my manipulative ex, and I wanted to get rid of my black mood. Not only that, being behind a camera gave me a fun way to flirt with the HB9 serving the party. After taking a few photo's of her looking amazing, she insisted I delete them. The conversation when thus:

HB9: "Vuh-ark-huh..."

Me: "Varka."

HB9: "Whatever, just delete the photo's."

Me: "But I like them, you'll have to make up for their loss somehow, like with your number."

HB9: Are you actually blackmailing me into giving you my number?"

Me: "No, I'm not deleting these photo's anyway, I just wanted to hang out with a really cute and really fun girl."

She gave me a look at said; "Damn, you got me," and I strode back into the party higher than a rabbit on coke. I'm seeing her on Friday. I didn't think that being so forward and so ambitious would pay off, I had only known her for five minutes. All I knew was that I was having fun talking to her and I wanted to see her again. I didn't even realize how smooth I was being because all I could think of at the time was how happy I was talking to her, and how happy she was talking to me. It turned my black mood completely upside-down, and it felt good.

So good that when I got home, I decided I wanted to catch up with an old friend I had a mini-crush on for a while. I wanted to chat, she was there, and I heard about a play she was in, a half-hour thing to do with online dating, which I found ironic, considering what happened next. I told I'd come to see her show and take her out to dinner afterward to catch up. Not asked, mind, told! This is the bravest I've ever been around women, partially because of the abundance mentality I'd been building up, but mostly due to the constant pain at the back of my mind saying: "Just fucking do it, like it'll hurt you any worse than this does, pussy." I've been threatened with a lack of attendance if I don't stop acting arrogant, but I don't give a shit, I got two other dates and am riding a high right now. All I told her is that I can have as good a dinner with my imagination, but I prefer the company. I'll be seeing her Thursday night.

The other girl was nothing really noteworthy, and another story about my success just feels like empty bragging labouring my point too much, so I'll skip to the lesson I learnt from this.

Emotions are a natural part of life, and are an essential tool for your inner game. Women are emotional creatures, they can sense underlying feelings in your words and put a great deal of weight into them. So you'd be crazy not to utilize powerful emotions to your advantage, to make yourself not only feel better, but even get over the bitch that hurt you.

Put simply, powerful emotions feed off of each other. If you're extremely unhappy, angry or even hungry, that can in turn lead to the same level of extreme happiness, love and satisfaction. All it needs is a trigger to turn this negative energy into positive energy. And honestly, who doesn't feel good when they just made a new friend, or even more so, when they thought they were at their worst, and they still got a girl to say yes to a date with them? A fucking sociopath, that's who, but that's beside the point.

These negative emotions aren't wrong. Of course i's normal to feel this way, good even, and you shouldn't hate yourself even more for feeling them. But nobody wants to be sad, that's your emotions tricking your brain into thinking you have to be. So fuck that, trick your brain right back, and go out and do things that make you feel good. That's why I went out in the first place, because I wanted to feel good, and meeting people does that to me.

Most importantly, work with what you got. I'm skinny, short, playful, adorable and have the least sounding alpha voice imaginable. Doesn't stop me wanting to enjoy myself and make new friends, though. I used all my emotions to make myself realize none of this shit matters as long I'm happy, and girls can pick up on that. That's true confidence, and it all came from that one woman that I thought had long ago drained that all from me.

So chin up, my suffering bros, because you got this.