What’s up seduction? I went on another date with cold approach. Been a while but finally got another and this time the girl looked wayy better lol.

TLDR - We went on a date, made her laugh, did a bit of touching while walking. Went in her apt building to use the bathroom. Couldn’t get into her apt, from over qualifying myself(I’m assuming). K close outside her apt. One of the best kisses I had since I was actually attracted to her. Got to see what is possible with cold approach.

I’ll give u guys some context for the initial approach. I was out with some wings on Saturday and saw her and approached. She was initially on the phone and I didn’t even realize. Anyway she ends the call and I’m stacking on her looks a bit saying she looks like a secretary and shit. She tells me what she does for work then drags me over to the side and says she’s getting ready to go on a date. She said she didn’t want it to be weird if the date showed up so she gave me her number.

Texted her a bit and got a date we went to get pizza the next day. I hugged her when I saw her. On the date- She seemed into me asking questions and learning about me as I was her. She was laughing at stories I told and everything. I said I wanted to walk to get this white hot chocolate. So we take a stroll up there.

As I’m walking I grab her from the side so think about a one handed hug but lower around her waist and she didn’t say anything. I was just trying to push myself a bit. I’ve been with women before in moments like that and ain’t do shit lol. So she seemed comfortable. I kept taking my hand off of her though then on for a bit.

Anyway we’re at a light I grab her again and try to go for a kiss by saying take off your mask(don’t rip me up for this lol) and she starts talking about covid lol and how we gotta wait for some random time to start before we do anything. I say well we’ve already had our masks off while eating. She starts laughing and keeps her mask on. I pull back a bit.

We get to the spot and guess what there’s no fucking white hot chocolate fuck lol. I get a regular one she didn’t want and we sit down and start talking. I stopped talking a lot and she was reigniting convo almost every time. I started stacking a bit cuz we’re talking music and tell her she seems like she could be a singer and she gives me the weirdest look. I almost died laughing lol.

Anyway we start heading to her place I was walking her home. Grabbed her a couple of more times across the waist and then I asked “am I slowing you down” she’s like yea. Then I said “I like slow. Get to see the scenery and chill for a bit”. Then I go into a story about how I went to Cali a while back and how I was darting around universal studios and not taking anything in. She pretty much agrees and falls into that frame. Then I take my hand off shortly after and guess what she’s now walking slow.

Ight now here’s where I fucked up lol. So I’m like I gotta use the bathroom and say can I use it in her apt. She says yeah. I go in use the bathroom and am trying to get into her apt(bathroom was outsider her apt). When I come out I ask her “can I chill in her apt?” She says how long are u gonna stay I say 30-1hr. Then I don’t remember what happened(EDIT—I remember she was like maybe another time but I didn’t want to accept that)but I started qualifying myself to her in a joking way cuz I could see she was on the fence(didn’t even realize I was doing this until I started writing about it). Right after that she starts walking me outta her apt. We stand on the side and she opens her arm for a hug. We hug I go in for a kiss and we make out. One of the best kisses I had in a while cuz I was actually attracted to her. By the way this is another reason I got into this shit. Better quality. Now I kno I can get wayy hotter girls.. just gotta talk to them.

After that I’m like are you sure you don’t want me in and she’s pretty much saying that she doesn’t. She had to go to work and shit but I know I coulda went all the way. Then I say something like “idk if you’ll get a second chance”. Idk where that line came from but I probably won’t say it again haha. She’s like oh you’re gonna play that game. I don’t remember how I answered. Then that was pretty much it and I said good night and left feeling pretty shitty because now it’s gonna take me another month just to get here again lol with another girl. Maybe not though.

I spent time walking around trying to approach other girls after but it was so late and I didn’t see anyone.

Things I learned:

  • It’s okay to initiate physical contact. I didn’t realize I had the ability to talk my way into what I’m doing and convincing her that it was okay. Pretty awesome.
  • Don’t be an asshole lol. I didn’t necessarily feel like an asshole when I said “you might not get another chance” but I feel like it killed any future chance because she said “oh that’s how your gonna play”. I wanna hear opinions on this. I’m gonna hit her up in a few days but I’m not gonna ask her out. I’m just gonna tell her I listened to this album she recommended and give her a recommendation and use this as a litmus test.
  • Never qualify yourself even as a joke. I didn’t realize what was happening until I started writing this. She was on the fence and as soon as I started saying shit like I’m Neil, this and that trying to be a bit funny but qualifying at the same time that’s when she started walking me out lol.

Questions: - What could I have said or done when she was on the fence about letting me in her apt? I literally started qualifying myself. Saying who I am I’m Neil, the musician and saying all this bs trying to be funny lol. - Should I hit her up after all this? I probably am despite the answer I get but just wondering do u guys think I turned her off by saying “you probably won’t get a second chance”? - I feel like I get too attached to the pull when it looks like I can pull and I’m in scarcity. I think that’s why I ultimately started qualifying myself. I mean we’re in the apt, she’s on the fence, logical thing to do is convince her right? I feel like I almost expect to pull on the first date every time but it’s not realistic. I have done it and I’d say that’s mostly been my experience but it’s hard to detach myself from the fact that I might not get her this time. So my question is how do you guys detach yourself from the outcome when it comes to this? If I knew I was going to see another chick later I probably wouldn’t have qualified myself and shit. I feel like I blew any chance of a second date. And it sucks cuz she’s actually pretty cool. How do you guys detach when it looks like you will pull but you don’t? - In situation where the bathroom is outside of her apt, I guess it doesn’t matter cuz u gotta escalate anyway, but my question is do u just say “Can I chill in your apt maybe watch a movie”. Matter fact what would u guys have done?