I had some positive interactions the other day and thought I'd share.

I live in a small town, woke up feeling good, headed downtown on my bike to get some business done. We have a nice bike path that allows me to say hi and give high fives to passersby. I find this a fun little exercise.

Scenario one, at the government office turning in some forms. It is very quiet, there is a two set of 7 and 8s sitting 3 feet behind where I am standing in line. I say "damn, its too quiet in here. I don't like it." No reaction really, but when I turn to face away, they whisper and giggle. At me? perhaps. I grin. Get no help from the front desk lady, I figured she didn't like me breaking the serious demeanor. So I turn to the set and shrug, making a bemused, "what can you do?" face. They smile. No further engagement as I exit.

Give another high five to female passerby as I head to the cafe. The server is great, HB7. We hit it off like this:

Her: Hi, just one?

Me: yes, (pause, grin, hold hand to chest) just lonely old me.

Her: laughs

When seated outside I tease her about them not having my first or second choice. She responds positively. I strike up a conversation about the help wanted sign. I ask her if the owner are Mexican, "cause you know, we gotta make sure our people do good in business" (the girl and I are both Mexican), get another laugh and big smile as she goes inside.

I get her name, Maria, but fail to shake her hand or to give her mine. This will prove to be a mistake.

Sitting outside was a good move, not only could I enjoy the nice day, but I could interact with more passersby and if I happen to see somebody i know (likely in my town), it could add some social proof.

I decide to make a move the next time my server, Maria, comes outside. This was partly because I tend to pussy out and bail when I get a good conversation going, so it was important to make a move. However, my approach wasn't effective. Here's what happened:

Me: Hey Maria, what's your Friday night looking like? Maria: I'm going out. Me: You should invite me. Her: No. Me: Why? Her: Cause I don't know you. Me: That's why, we should get to know each other. Her: no thanks (walks back inside).

Analysis: As you can see, I put myself in a position to be rejected by asking her to invite me. Then tried convincing her why it was a good idea. Also, once I moved from pleasant conversation to "ask her out," my speech tones switched and she picked up on the nervous energy. After her refusal, my speech became much faster and nervous sounding. While the talks leading up to that point were pleasant, they were brief, no "repoire" built and I gave no introduction of myself.

I give myself a minute to regain my composure and head inside to recover.

Me: (teasing tone) I'm just saying we should be friends, since we're going to be working together.

Her: smile: you're funny.

Though I did regain some ground with that last comment, her body language had changed. No eye contact, she mumbled some stuff.

I also do really intend to apply for the job, so I plan to make another pass when I go apply.