[fR] Failure on multiple levels

TofuTofu · 2011-02-18T04:50:41+00:00

You did fine. You just need more time in the field to get fully calibrated.

More FRs!

RedErin · 2011-02-18T03:56:39+00:00

This was not a failure.

un1verse · 2011-02-18T05:08:47+00:00

Doesn't sound that bad to me. I notice one thing though...

When you said "what do you say? you invade someone's space and say nothing?" it's not really funny, etc. And remember the place you went was packed and probably loud, so longer sentences that take more attention to understand aren't good. It's better to focus on body language and fewer words.

Think of some canned material (or read some online) and write down some short things you could say. The goal is not to memorize, but to get your brain used to understanding the kinds of things that would work to open and engage.

"Hi! Badass hairstyle!"
"Hey, want me to help you meet some men?" proceed to play around by pointing out geeky guys, etc
Hi five her "You're awesome!"

I think that in the club, before you've actually attracted a girl, you gotta use high energy and just be masculine. Little negs and hard-to-understand comments don't work that well as openers. In a lounge or quiet bar it's different, and you can just open with Hi, get her to talk, thread the conversation, and go from there.

2011-02-18T14:50:07+00:00

Anyway, we went to a bar that was pretty packed, but I didn't really know anyone there but the three guys I was with. Unfortunately, they did know people and instead of including everyone into the conversation (namely me), they talked to them directly one-on-one.

This is where you just stand there awkwardly talking to nobody, but still maintaining the comfort of your group. It is a hard habit to break becuase it require you stepping out of the your comfort zone. You are much better talking to girls you don't find attractive (atleast that will get you back in the social mood) then hoping they include you. That is the only thing you did that I would classify as a failure. Well that and watching american idol, that was a pretty big failure.

thesorrow312 · 2011-02-18T09:48:46+00:00

Your first 2 comments come off as assholey IMO.

""what do you say? you invade someone's space and say nothing?"

This sounds like something a parent would say to a child. It sounds extremely condescending.

PyouA · 2011-02-18T05:22:24+00:00

I started reading "60 years of challenge" and he always advocates failing your first set to get you back in state. If you recover from failure, all of a sudden you don't care as much.

In this case, you could always have done things differently but be complacent in the fact that you actually tried something. You stood out! No one learns this stuff overnight and patience is your friend.

I'm still learning this myself, but lots of people tell me never to rely on state. It's a great thing to have, but relying on it makes it easy for us to make excuses when we aren't in state. Good luck man! Let us beginners work hard and prosper!

WayneGale · 2011-02-18T04:25:06+00:00

Unfortunately, they did know people and instead of including everyone into the conversation (namely me), they talked to them directly one-on-one. This totally threw me out of my game, since I was a little out of my comfort zone.

You need to destroy that comfort zone and the one way to do that is to fail.

Unless something incredibly bad happened to you that day, there's no reason to NOT be in state. You need to practice pumping yourself up. Get excited, even over small shit.

As long as you learn from your mistakes there is never a bad night out.

Title	[fR] Failure on multiple levels
Author	whutuvit
Upvotes	31
Comments	8
Date	February 18, 2011 2:25 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fnmah/fr_failure_on_multiple_levels/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-failure-on-multiple-levels.1315693 https://theredarchive.com/post/1315693

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