Monday my friends invited me out to a bar downtown where a friend of a friend was performing. It was a pretty small basement tavern, relatively busy for a monday night (maybe 20 people there tops).

As I'm talking to one of my buddies, he tells me he recently broke up with his girlfriend. I got out of an LTR myself a little over two months ago, so we start talking about some basic PUA and what we are looking for in women.

After our conversation I'm feeling ready to flirt with some girls. I see a cute girl in the corner by herself on her phone, so i make my approach. I introduce myself and say "You're too cute to be sitting by yourself. Do you mind if I sit with you?"

She smiles, thanks me for the compliment, and moves her bag off of the chair next to her where I grab a seat. I ask her why she's here all by herself, she tells me she is friends with one of the performers and came to show support. We chat a little more about how she knows the performer, where she works, etc. I find out she's new in town and she lives and works at a restaurant very close to me. I tell her I'll come by one day for lunch and she better hook me up with a sweet discount.

About 10 minutes in to the conversation the vibes are fantastic. I tell her it was nice chatting and that I needed to go back to the bar to hang out with my friends but that I'd love to get her number and chat again in the future. She says "I would really like that too, but I actually have a boyfriend and don't think I should give you my number."

Now at this point I know she's just being hesitant because that's the rule when you have a boyfriend, even though we were connecting well. And maybe a little more gaming or applying a little more playful pressure from my end could have gotten me the number close. But I'm feeling especially good about myself right now, and I have several women I'm talking to in my rotation. I don't feel the desire or need to navigate gaming a girl who has a boyfriend at this point, so instead of pressuring her for the number I decide to let the conversation roll for a few more minutes. I figure I'm vibing with a pretty girl I will never see again, no need to end a fun interaction just because I got rejected when I tried to take it somewhere else.

"We need to work on your rejections a little more, I've totally heard that one before" I tell her. She laughs and asks if I can give her some tips on how to be better at rejecting guys. I tell her some playful rejection lines, and then give her a serious one and remind her that a boyfriend isn't going to stop most guys so she needs to say "Thanks, but I'm not interested" instead of "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend."

We go back and forth for another minute then again I say "It's been really nice chatting but I really need to get back to my friends." I give her a little fist tap on the shoulder and say "Oh and good luck with prince charming." As I start to walk away, she grabs me really quick and says "Wait, why don't we add each other on facebook?"

Key Takeaways:

  • Just putting yourself out there there's a 50/50 chance of getting rejected. Don't let fear of rejection give you approach anxiety.

  • Come at them calmly and honestly but let your intentions be known, and be ready to walk away with nothing more than a good talk. Don't put pressure on yourself to get laid all the time.

  • By the time she had the chance to even mention that she had a boyfriend, we had already accomplished some flirting which improved my odds of overall success.

  • When she mentioned she had a boyfriend I cut my losses within my own mind, but I knew this was the last time I would speak to her so I let myself go with the flow with nothing more to lose.

  • By continuing the fun conversation after her initial rejection, I made myself nonthreatening BUT still flirtatious and this lead to her friend requesting me on social media.

  • Even though we could have flirted for another hour, I in essence told her I was here with friends and that she was nice to talk to but I wasn't here to pick up chicks. In hindsight I feel like this element of the dynamic made everything more relaxed, but I would love to hear feedback from the community about this.