I'm 36. I'm more of a lurker, but men I have an F close report to share from the field. Quick backstory I'm recently out of a long term (5 year) relationship and was seeing a new girl for about 4 months. I was really into her but I became a nice guy and got friend zoned hard. The old me would have been devastated and depressed, but I've been studying and basically going through step by step what the side bar here suggests starting with getting my life in order. I set out to get 20 coffee dates with 20 women in order to better understand what makes them tick and get over my fears of talking to women. I had gone on a few dates but was having a hard time finding any quality women who were put together enough to not seem crazy right off the bat. Anyway I gave up the whole 20 dates thing and changed my focus from looking to attracting. I started thinking I was attractive and talking to everyone with an attitude of knowing they were attracted to me. This attitude has worked wonders in my life in general btw especially at work. Anyway, a few days into really focusing on feeling attractive I check my email to find a woman responded to a craigslist ad I had posted weeks ago. We exchange a few emails and texts and set up a coffee date. I directed the conversation and didn't let endless email/text happen before the date. At coffee I focused on disqualifying her quickly by asking her question that uncovered her model of the world to see that it matched with mine. Turns out she has a real similar ideas and we moved from coffee shop to street fair, to vintage shop, to having a beer at a pub, the night ended in a kiss. The next date we had was not as good. I was overthinking everything, feeling hung up on the last girl I was dating, and just way off my game. It was like I was sabotaging myself but I managed to salvage it because she was still having fun despite me friend zoning myself. After that date I refocused and got my text game going. 'Commit to me Friday night' was a strong phrase I used to which she later told me had turned her on. Had her meet at my place for drinks, left from there in one car so I knew we'd be coming back to my place. Escalated kino the entire night. By the time we were back to my house it was clothes off party time. The kicker is she orgasmed right away and said she doesn't do that by penetration and that definitely helps me feel attractive. Seddit has been a great resource for me on my journey and I would like to say thanks to the community because this place is great!