[FR] First time experience hitting on girls in a night club...it was brutal but I don't feel bad. What can be improved?

recyclablebantha · 2013-06-10T01:56:07+00:00

The nightclub subculture usually dictates that you at least shave, dress well with lots of cologne and shit.

Well kind of, but mostly attitude counts for more than cologne and shaving. I often forget to shave and I loathe cologne but it doesn't affect anything because my head is on straight.

I have recently decided to become a "yes man" so just went with them anyway, tired, dressed crappy and with a bag in my hand.

What do you mean by "yes man"? I hope you don't mean that you're deciding to be sycophantic.

1) I was just going across the floor when I bumped into a girl. She was short and not that good looking. I initiated a conversation anyway. She seems interested but I lost interest so just said my goodbyes and went for a drink.

Not bad. Talking to anybody is good for warming up and spreading around good feelings. :) You could have done this more, perhaps.

2) While getting a drink I was standing behind 3 girls..all HB7+. I asked them what drink they were getting and that I am into tasty drinks that chicks like. I asked for a recommendation and stuff then tried introducing my self but they didnt seem that interested so they just left.

The bit about being into tasty drinks "that chicks like," comes off a little too weak & pliable. It comes off like you're telling them that you like what they like, which implies that you'll change yourself to suit them.

3) Then I saw these 2 girls standing on the said. I went and talked to them. They seemed kinda weird but then I managed to keep the convo for like 10-15 minutes. After which they revealed they were lesbians and were engaged...(I think its bullshit but I actually saw a ring on their fingers).

I didn't see this interaction so I can't tell how well it went, but it's entirely possible that those girls have the lesbian thing worked out as a way to shut guys down. I certainly know a number of girls who wear rings to throw guys off the scent because they don't have the balls to directly shut guys down.

4) There were two girls standing...looking really sad...so I asked them..."Why are you guys so sad?"...She's like "excuse me? Please fuck off now...dont touch me bla bla"

Yeah, you came up with a negative frame so of course it made things incredibly uphill for you. Essentially, you either walked up and said, "I don't know you but I want to know all about whatever personal thing you have going on. (Read: you begged to be let in.) Or you showed a gross misunderstanding of them and assumed something negative, which dug a hole for you right off.

5) Then there were these two girls dancing on their own in a corner. One of them was kinda chubby but her face was just amazing. So I told her: "I fucking LOVE your smile". Then she smiles and I introduce myself etc. She seemed kinda receptive but weary as I had seen some other guys hitting on her before. So I thought I should try to befriend the friend too. The friend just starts going all bitchy on me and the pickup just dies.

I couldn't say what you did with the friend, because you didn't give any information. If you pulled anything like you did on #4, that would explain things. In any case, you didn't seem too interested in your target so no harm, no foul, anyway.

Anyways here is what I think I need to improve on. Please comment on these goals and give me some response to the questions:

1) Dress well. What kind of outfits, colognes etc work for you guys? What doesnt?

Again, this doesn't really matter. Attitude matters more. I've been out at a beach resort town wearing boxers (that's right, underwear), socks, shoes, a shirt and nothing else. And because of my attitude, it was the most ridiculous ice-breaker. On the other hand, I've been out with guys who were dressed to the nines but their own attitude shut them down.

Having said this, you ought to say that, to the extent that what you wear affects YOUR attitude, taking care with it can be valuable. And you may also observe what you see being worn at the club and decide what you like based on what you see and what kind of image you prefer. But it's less about picking the "right" clothes, and more about your attitude.

2) Don't walk around in the club too much. This makes you look like a stupid loner.

I think it's more important to enjoy the club for what it is: a place for DANCING. And the louder the music, the less the club is about TALKING. and the more it's about non-verbal things like eye contact, body language and dancing.

3) For talking to girls keep it short, simple, flirty and to the point. Most girls in clubs are not in logic mode so long deep conversations which i tend to engage in don't work. I think next time I will just go up, tap her and tell her how I like her, then go for the number so that I can get to know her better later on.

Telling her that you like her before you really know her, is putting her on a pedestal and screwing yourself, right off the bat. If you did that and immediately went for a number, she's not going to respond well to your follow-up call. Or she might give you a fake number.

4) Dance with girls. I don't know how to do that seriously. Do I approach them or do they come to you if you are dancing on a dance floor? If I have to approach, how the fuck do I do that? Any pointers?

Do you own thing and find enjoyment in dancing for it's own sake, don't do it if you don't enjoy it for it's own sake: find another kind of venue. And you'll know better whether to approach or let them come to you, after you make EYE CONTACT with them on the dance floor.

As for the dancing itself, check this older post out.

5) Smile and appear like you are having fun. If you take this shit too seriously, your whole body language and facial expression will change to something as if you are on a mission or something.

Good attitude is good, though you'll be able to take it further than merely appearing as if you're having fun (which would be seen through), by actually going to a venue where you enjoy the activity there. Whether it's socializing with people at a bar, or dancing at a dance club, you have to be somewhere where you enjoy the activity there.

6) For talking to people, I have a feeling that screaming irks girls which is something I seem to be doing. I have a feeling that due to loud music I can't hear myself but the other person still does. So screaming makes you hear yourself properly but it gets a bit weird for the other person. How do you guys speak in clubs?

Dude. We don't. We don't usually open with talking, anyway. Think about it. You are in a place where you can't hear. A place that is dominated by non-verbal activities. And you're walking around trying to TALK to people. You're interrupting the flow of the place by insisting that people who are listening to the music or dancing, talk to you. Cut that shit out. Get comfortable with non-verbal methods like eye contact (to gauge interest), dancing (for fun and kino), and body language (DHV, communication and kino). If they're interested, they'll make talking possible. Though often enough, I get numbers and k-closes without having had to talk at all.

Title	[FR] First time experience hitting on girls in a night club...it was brutal but I don't feel bad. What can be improved?
Author	mentalfloss2
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	June 9, 2013 7:44 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fzx10/fr_first_time_experience_hitting_on_girls_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-first-time-experience-hitting-on-girls-in-a.1353556 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353556

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