A bit of history: After ever so ungracefully extricating myself from an abusive relationship with a clingy psychopath a few months ago, I found myself without a shred of confidence and an absolute aversion to even the slightest notion of beginning a new relationship. This, on top of recently graduating and not having a bloody clue what I want to do now that I'm in the "real" world, all compounded into a breakthrough/down wherein I started really reevaluating my life. After years of living with others, I'm finally living on my own, which has admittedly been a bit lonely. A fellow redditor mentioned r/seduction and I thought I'd give it a look--I'm only slightly socially awkward and don't find it hard to make new friends, but I've always been interested in the unspoken rules of how people interact with each other. After lurking for a few weeks, I started incorporating some of the advice found here into my daily interactions with people; I've been starting more random conversations, picking up on body language a lot more, dressing like I give a damn, and basically pretending that I'm one cool motherfucker.

And by golly, it works.

The set-up: I entered this writing competition last year (before all this hullabaloo with the psycho) and ended up a finalist in my category. Serendipitously enough, the other finalist in my category was a girl from my university. I didn't know her, but being curious (and figuring it would be best to know my "enemy"), I pulled her name up on Facebook to see what she looked like (for the record, I'd put her around HB8). I saw her around a few times on campus, but it was always in passing and when I was in a rush. I ended up losing to her, which made me want to meet her even more--if only to read the work that beat mine. But I talked myself out of it, listing a million asinine excuses as to why I shouldn't. Failsauce.

The situation: Flash forward to present day: I'm single, living alone, and with a head full of the best PUA advice the internet has to offer. As I'm walking downtown, I get the sudden and unexpected urge to get something to drink at a café that I haven't been to in ages. I walk in and, lo and behold, HB8 is at the register. There are a few people ahead of me and I notice her glance in my direction a few times as she helps them. Seeing this as as good an opportunity as any to give what I've learned here a try, I resolve to introduce myself and ask her if I could read her piece that won the competition. Surely, I thought to myself, this will be enough of an opener to start some sort of conversation.

As I approached the counter, I opened my mouth to ask, "Hey, aren't you HB8?" but was quickly cut off by her asking, "Aren't you SmuckersNBAJam?" Momentarily shocked, all I can think to say is, "Yeeeeeeah. And you're HB8, right? I lost to you." She begins to apologize but, now that my head is back in the game, I cut her off, and assured her that that's how competitions work--someone wins, someone loses. I express my interest in reading her piece and she reciprocates, stating that she wanted to know what she was up against. We flirt a little more and I give her my email address so we can exchange works. She's all smiles the whole time.

A little later that day, we exchange pieces and within maybe a few hours, she responds with her critiques and opinions on my writing. The weekend was particularly busy, so I didn't get around to reading hers until I had some downtime on Sunday, but figured it'd be ok to make her wait a bit (anticipation being a key component to seduction). I reply via email with my critiques and compliments, and she sends me a short message thanking me. I don't respond, not wanting to drag out any textual exchanges.

A few days later, I decide to stop in to the café after work, on the off-chance that she may be working. Again, serendipitously enough she was and the place was completely dead. I go up and order my usual and we get to talking about each others' writing and the upcoming semester. After a few minutes, an elderly couple come in and she excuses herself to take their order. At this point, I'm disappointed at blowing my chance to #close, so I decide to hang around a bit to see if I can't get back into a conversation with her. Luckily enough, her coworker offers to take the elderly couple's order and HB8 leaves the counter to continue talking with me. We chatted for a bit longer and as things started to run out of steam, I got panicky and ejected by saying I had to get back home to finish some work.

We said our goodbyes and right as I'm about to turn to leave, I blurted out, "You should give me your phone number." She looked for a moment to be a little taken aback at my directness but eventually gave a big grin and ran off to get some paper and a pen. I left the café with a spring in my step, the phone number of a beautiful lady, and a delicious beverage in hand. Life is good now.

I waited about 45 minutes to text, not wanting to seem too keen or anything. I didn't give her my number but I wasn't about to pull the whole "Hey, this is SmuckersNBAJam" thing, as it seemed too boring. Instead, I texted her "Aaaaaand now you have my number. It was good running into you again today; I'll see you soon--hopefully somewhere other than the café." She texts back an hour later saying that she looks forward to it. I decide to refrain from responding, lest the texting back and forth get out of hand.

I sent out another text today, telling her that I'd be going to a local record store and that she should come with me. She responds with "Ok :)" and lets me know when she gets off work. So, I guess I have a date now.

Things I learned: It's been reiterated several times over, but it's really true that things go a lot smoother when you're direct and assertive about what you want. If I hadn't gone in with a devil-may-care attitude and an artificially-inflated sense of self-worth, there's no way things would have gone as well as they did. Also, it's worth it to leave a little time to build anticipation--even if that just means waiting a bit to respond to an email.

Well, that's all I've got. Sorry for the lengthy post. Any critiques/advice would be welcome. And if anyone has any tips for the first date, I'd appreciate it. I figured going to the record store would be a good way to get to know her, since I feel like you can tell a lot about a person based on their taste in music. Plus, record stores are cool. Cooler than bow ties and fezzes, at least. The place is downtown, so that opens up opportunities to possibly go out for a drink afterwards or back to my place to listen to whatever I decide to pick up. Any thoughts?

tl;dr Lost a competition, runner's-up prize was a date. First time going out since botched LTR with crazy, would appreciate advice.