I was going to write this on my personal blog tonight and reflect on it myself. No k or f-closes here, this FR is for me to look back and analyse what I've done wrong, and maybe hear some thoughts from seddit.

I've articulate my mistakes, just so that I (and you) can learn from it and avoid it.

I had a three day graduate event (I'm on my final year at uni/college) that I was excited about because [1] I LOVE to meet new people, [2] everything was company paid and [3] I get to utilise the knowledge I've learned here, working on my inner and outer game.

I'll mention some highlights from the event.

I got to the airport, went to the meeting point and immediately befriended EVERYONE. I made sure I keep a dominant and confident frame throughout, speaking loudly, touching everyone and making people laugh. There were some HBs in the mix so I made a mental note to build attraction on them throughout the three days.

We got to the hotel and BAM, more people to meet from all over the country (they flew in a total of 40 people from different states). Again, I made sure that I introduced myself to everyone and be overall confident. Now this is where I started to falter. I saw A LOT more HBs here and that's when my apprehension started kicking in. I'd be conversing in a set, all the while thinking how to open the other set. Next time, as soon as I start to notice myself thinking/strategising, I should just go over and introduce myself.

Company dinner came and I saw one of the HBs (let's call her C). She wore a nice dress and looked REALLY pretty (+1 on the HB scale for me). Soon as I saw C, I approached and complimented her on her dress. A bit of AFC in me leaked there and as soon as I said that, I blanked out. I should've teased her at least.

Exhausted after the day's events, we all went to sleep in our hotel rooms. I hate to admit this, but I kept thinking how I could attract C the next day. That's right, one-itis crept up. Solution? I reminded myself that there's other HBs out there -- Abundance Mentality. Probably one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal. That and 'Assume Attraction.'

Day 2 started with us getting ready for the day's events. Saw the other HB (S), made a few chit chat and then teased her. She jokingly pushed me on the side and I knew I was doing it right.

Dinner came and C ended up sitting next to me. This is probably the only time I actually got to chat her up. I should've done so earlier. Anyway, I led the conversation, but it really wasn't hooking. Eventually, I just ignored her and spoke to the people around her. Wish I could say that ignoring her worked into getting her to talk to me more later, but it didn't. In hindsight, I think my DHVing might've made me look cocky. Gotta calibrate that.

Another HB6 (or not) (H) sat to me after dinner and I had a pretty good conversation with her. I teased her a lot and she responded well. Wasn't really interested in pursuing her. Turns out later that she's already in a relationship.

After dinner, a few of us ended up going to the bar. There were about 12 or so including S. There were mainly two sets in here, one with S in it and the other with close mates who already knew each other before the event (I hate that closed group mentality, it's like they're on their own world). I tried to keep an alpha frame and try to 'own' the set with S in it, but I couldn't sustain it for too long. I need advice on how to be lead a conversation in a group. My frame tends to falter down exponentially.

Anyway, I noticed that S had the set (mainly all men) listening to her so I left the set. I guess, my mindset was that since she had the attention of every guy, I didn't want to feed more into it so I left. I wanted her to 'earn' my attention. Looking back, I think that I seemed bitter by leaving like that and forming my own set.

Next day, bade goodbye to everyone but no #-close, all fb-closes. I generally dislike fb-closes but I had to fb everyone I met for career networking purposes, this including the HBs.

I saw S on chat and so I initiated a conversation, no reply. I left soon later and then got a wall post from her saying she was sorry for being afk. I didn't reply til the next day cause I was busy, but I busted her on that. She replied quickly and threatened to "unfriend me :P".

I didn't want to ask her out on my wall, so I sent her a message: Subject: "Before we both unfriend each other.."

Message: "...I think we both got on the wrong foot. You're cool, even though my team is obviously better than yours. =P

Hey, I'm free this Thursday. Let's hang out after uni/work."

Ugh. I could've done better. This was all in the span of three days. I normally would've chatted her up a bit and got to know her via fb. But this time, I'm decided to ask her out with minimal 'getting to know you via fb'. I got a reply from her tonight saying that she'll be busy for the next couple of weeks.

Ah well. I don't think I built enough attraction. I thought I did.

Lesson learned:

  • Always keep an abundance mentality.

  • Always assume attraction. It's a GREAT confidence booster.

  • Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Nothing's going to happen if you're hiding on your shell.