[FR] got the number at a programming event

bishopaf · 2012-06-24T21:15:23+00:00

She has a husband... move on.

Bunabayashi · 2012-06-25T13:32:56+00:00

I think that for whatever reasons (and this isn't a slam, I mean I'm sure you DID do a whole bunch of stuff correctly for her to connect with you like she did), but for whatever reasons she gave you her number, but you're not giving her a reason to want to continue the seduction. You may have momentarily impressed her with balls of steel, or she may have been the type who prides herself (while being a 10) on being publicly nice to 'nerdy' types but then shuts them down later privately. Who knows?

Here's 1 observation about fitness models I have never found to be not true: They have really low self-esteem. By that I don't mean they don't objectively know they're physically hot, but their job, the insane amount of time they spend exercising and grooming, and the way every single person lusts after them confirms their deep suspicions that those superficial qualities are all they are, and no one values them for their inner qualities-- or what's worse, guys will hit on them and pretend to be interested in their values, but they see right through that shit... if the guy is hot enough she pretends to not see through him, hooks up with him and then feels worse afterwards about herself... it's a vicious cycle.

So, if it was me (and it's been me, I'm not just giving advice I haven't successfully tried), I would do something like this:

Find out something she likes that's not related to programming or fitness modeling or figure modeling (and I forgot to mention, was she there as a 'hired gun'? If she was paid to be there you need to rethink how well you were doing because she was being paid to be nice and she couldn't leave/be rude. Again, I'm not saying you didn't do well but it's another layer to think about and filter.)

How do you find out something she's into? It should have been done during the initial phases (see Style's 'Eliciting Values' routine). So, you're fucked. Just kidding! Um... let's see, if she told you any recreational activities or hobbies she has you can work those... maybe she has a FB page or modeling page where she lists shit like that, maybe she has a blog where she puts up scans of her awful paintings or talks about saving dolphins... or just take flyer and use an activity our culture generally holds up as desirable. Wine tasting events, gallery/artist openings, concerts, or getting into an exclusive event or club, there's a ton of stuff. What is critical to this invite is that [bold sentence coming up] you aren't asking her out, rather you are suggesting she comes along to an even you and your friends are already going to Give your friends value, never yourself, let hr see by the way others interact with you that you have higher value. So, here's how it might go down in text:

You: Hey you're into working out if I remember correctly, right? What gyms do you recommend in our area (not yours though, I don't want to distract you)

Her: Hahaha, I recommend [insert gym here]

You: Cool, got it thanks. Hey you should come meet my awesome friend tomorrow night, he works with dolphins.

You: Cool, got it thanks. Hey you should come meet my awesome friend tomorrow night at this wine auction we're going to, he's a sommelier.

You: Cool, got it thanks. Hey you should come meet my awesome friend tomorrow night, he's having a gallery showing of his art installation at [insert trendy gallery here]

You: Cool, got it thanks. Hey you should come meet my awesome friend tomorrow night, he's a famous architect.

You: Cool, got it thanks. Hey you should come meet my awesome friend tomorrow night, he's a producer at [blank} and we're going to watch Sting perform and hang out after the show.

WHATEVER, hopefully you get the idea.

There's a ton of these you could do. The more accurate you are with the activity and her values, the better your chances. If your offer is way off base, in other words if she says something like

Her: That sounds really interesting but that's not my crowd (or whatever), just say something like

You: Cool np. Wine tasting/art auction/gallery openings/being backstage/whatever she rejected isn't for everyone. What's something you value? & you can't say working out

Her: [States value]

You: OMG I think that's awesome (but don't get a big head)

Her: haha

You now have the info you need to hook her if you want to continue it. If you can improv quickly and can come up with a solid plan on the fly, you can try hooking her with that value

You: Too crazy, my best buddy is [something closely related to value], you have to meet him.

Fuck I've typed a lot. If any of this resonates or seems doable let me know I'll write more. It's sure as shit worked for me.

edgar_alan_bro · 2012-06-24T21:41:41+00:00

My advice is this, next time you text her be completely declarative in you asking her say something along the lines of "You + Me + (whatever you want to do , tomorrow at __". Do this and if she declines try once more, if she declines again just move on you at least said you gave it your all.

nerdpua · 2012-06-24T23:08:19+00:00

I think you actually need to "build rapport" (god I hate this term). Talk to her like you would to a normal human being, a friend. I believe this is the thing I was missing all along and was getting flakes left and right.

And don't dismiss her too easily. This is another mistake I made too many times. I could've gained so much more experience if I hadn't done it.

Title	[FR] got the number at a programming event
Author	nerdpua
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	June 24, 2012 8:41 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vjdfn/fr_got_the_number_at_a_programming_event/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-got-the-number-at-a-programming-event.1334596 https://theredarchive.com/post/1334596

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