Hey guys. So I last night in Manhattan, I was out with my friends at a soul/funk show. The music was really good and I made it a point to not drink during. Anyone ever feel like they go to shows and they're so bothered by all the other external stimuli that they barely listen to the music? I decided that wouldn't happen, so I made it a point to focus on the music and have fun! Didn't look at other people to make sure that it was "ok" to have fun. Had a blast. Show soon lets out into a bar area.

I float around for a little bit, trying to scope out. Spot a HB8 talking to a friend. I wasn't brave enough to deal with both of them at the same time (any tips you guys?) but luckily, the cuter one goes to do something with her purse and I approach.

Nahtanos: (using RSD Tyler's approach) Hey! Who are you? (By the way, this opener tends to get the, what? what fuck? reaction. You just have to stick with it, look dead in the eyes and own it. I said this deadpan, with a flat inflection in my voice.) Tracy: Hi, um, I'm Tracy? N: super big smile Hi, I'm Jonathan, cheers! clink (if you actually know how to smile and are happy about it, people will always smile back. My smile is so good its infectious.) She smiles back and cheers What did you think of the show? Tracy: It was good! What did you think? N: It was awesome! I LOVE motown! I start dancing in place, twirling Hahahaha Tracy: hahaha, who do you know in the band? N: My friend's brother is the front man. I came for moral support. (ok so that past two exchanges were a good example of like being fun and then qualifying yourself.) Tracy: oh cool. N: How's your weekend? Tracy: It's ok, how's yours? N: It's good, I was bartending today at the brunch shift. I don't know who decided it brunch was thing in Manhattan, but it's SUCH a thing. (All of this is done with lots and lots of enthusiasm. It's not a strategy I adopted, it's just who I am. I'm high energy, and again, it's infectious. People get wrapped up in it.) Tracy: Yeah, but it's the perfect solution for being hungover! N: haha I suppose. If waiting in the cold for 20 mins and then paying 14 bucks for eggs is a hangover cure, I'd do it I guess. (< not afraid to disagree, to say what I think)

So we begin to talk about who comes into my restaurant. This qualifies me again. We talk about actors, I learn she's a producer. We fluff and fluff. I do this thing where I say, hey you'd look good in glasses and then I hand the chick my glasses and I take a picture of her and show it to her. It's really comforting to the girl. We talk about fifty shades of grey and why so many women read that book. I tell her she probably likes it when guys slap her on the ass and stuff her face in the pillow. btw, her reaction to that is the wtf?what?wow! kind of thing, and again you just gotta own it I just laugh at her and say wow you just got really uncomfortable. Then I change the subject. I tell her my dream is to become the president of the United States, and I grab her shoulders when I do this. Slight kino. More fluff, more slight kino, pushing her away, punching her lightly on the arm. So it's going well. I'm making her laugh, I'm qualifying myself by showing her I have a fucking life and fucking dreams. I'm kino-ing slightly, trying to push-pull.

Unfortunately, her friend comes back and asks if she wants a beer. She offers to buy me one so I say yeah. We get the beer and there's three of us at the bar and we're all bantering and stuff. We talk about 3-D printers, etc. We talk about my becoming future President and how I'd have to appeal to "their humanity" in order to get their vote or some bullshit like that. The friend leaves and i'm starting to get a buzz and she starts talking about politics. Because I've just been going where the interaction takes me, I unfortunately let her go on and on about it. I mean on the one hand, it was natural, but she was floundering cause she didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. I let it happen cause I didn't want to have a jarring shift in convo. Anyways, my brain is starting to panic a little. She's not having as MUCH fun as earlier and I'm wondering how i can amp the conversation a little more. (As a progress note, this is like 10 minutes into the interaction. If her emotional level was at a 0 when I approached, she was at a 5 now, out of 10) But I didn't know how to really amp up anymore.

More unfortuantely, her friend comes back and tells us they're gonna move on to the next bar. I say im gonna stay with my friends, so I say; N: Have coffee with me on Monday Tracy: ehh, I work on Monday. N: (FUCK!) Alright. (So I kinda sulk off a little, like face the bar, and not her. She turns to her friend, fluff with her. I'm thinking about what I could possibly say to recover. I'm not sure what to do, I wait a few seconds.) N: When are we gonna hang out.
Tracy: Nahtanos, how old are you? N: you really wanna know? I'm 23.
Tracy: i'm 32, This is not gonna happen. N: Oh my God!! I asked if you wanted to hang out, not fuck me!(hahahahahhaha, dunno why i said that, cause i totally wanted to fuck her) Tracy: Ok i just wanted to make sure my intention was clear. (hahaha i guess that's good, because it showed that my intent was fucking clear the whole time. she knew wassup)

She gives me some shit about how at women, post 28 years old, something clicks and like SO much shit has already happened that they're in a completely different place in life and all this shit. I say sure sure sure.

N: Do you have any single friends? T: I know a 19 year old at NYU. She's cute. N: Awesome, we're all gonna hang and you're gonna introduce me to her. T: cool! See yah!

SO! Lessons learned. I dunno. I know for SURE that:

TL;DR: 1) I owned the approach. You gotta. The interaction will flow so naturally after that 2) It is natural to qualify yourself in between showing attraction. LoveSystems posits this as a linear stage from attraction--> qualification --> comfort --> seduction. It's not necessarily linear, but you have to solidify one before you get to the next. Comprende? 3) I was successfully able to move to comfort stage. However, I could've amped the interaction a lot more. I was afraid, and I wanted to look like a normal human being. I didn't call her a DOG and stare her down, but alas, she only stayed at a 5 out of 10 on the emotional scale. AMP MORE AMP MORE!!!

Thanks guys. This was my first post. Keep at it!