If you are pretty good and looking to get to the next level. I HIGHLY recommend checking out the LoveSystems article by Braddock on Push/Pull. Its remarkable how ridiculous it reads, but I swear to god it has led to some of the most fun conversations I have had in weeks. Plus more hookups.

For me, it was like the missing puzzle piece. I made it my goal to OVER incorporate it to find out just how far I could go. It has been a fun experiment.

Example conversation (at a promoter’s table in a club):

Her: “Do you come out with Promoter T all the time?”

Charlie: “Yeah, is this one of your first times?”

Her: “No we come out with him all the time, how do we not know you?”

Me: “YOU’RE A LIAR”

Her: “Haha, no we do!”

Me:“LIAR LIAR LIAR”

Her: “Nooooo we do.”

Me: “She’s not to be trusted!”

Her: “Hahaha”

Me: “No but seriously, you should totally come out on nights we are out. We’ll be best friends See you Thursday.”

Her: “Haha best friends, yay”

Towards the end of the night the music is pumping. I decide I need to open direct. A pretty black girl walks by. Call her Pretty.

Me: “You can’t look at me like that and not say hi”

Pretty: “Umm Hi”

Charle: “I’m Charlie”

Pretty: “I’m [Pretty]”

Charlie: “Who are you here with?”

Pretty: “That table”

Charlie: “Lame. This is the cool table”

Pretty: “Oh yeah!? I doubt it.”

Charlie: “Yeah, also are you wearing an eyepatch”

Pretty: [tries to cover it up with her hair]

Charlie: “Haha, what the hell are you wearing an eyepatch for?”

Pretty: “I got an infection and need to keep my hair off it.”

Charlie: “Thank God. I just realized I might have just got slapped by a girl with one eye for asking what was up with her eyepatch”

Pretty: “Hahaha [lifts the patch again] yeah its really not so bad. But my hair can’t touch it so I have to cover it.”

Charlie: “Seriously, you can stop showing me that you have 2 eyes. I believe you”

Pretty: “Hahaha. Oh my god I love your hair” [touches it]

Charlie: “No you don’t, you just can’t keep your hands off me”

Pretty: “Oh my god you’re right! But I do like your hair. And I will touch it if I want to!”

Charlie: “That’s aggressive of you. I should start charging per touch. We can get you a tab set up and just bill you at the end of the night. So what’s your Pirate name?”

Pretty Pirate: [grabs me and laughs]

Charlie: “Is it Blackbeard?”

Pretty Pirate: “Oh god, you’re too much [hangs on me] I need to find my sister.”

Charlie “What does she look like? Does she have 2 eyes?”

Pretty Pirate: “Hahaha”

Charlie: “I don’t believe you have a sister. I think you are a solo pirate. Which is okay because that means you are Captain.”

Pretty: “Hah!” [some hot girl in a green dress stares and smiles at us]

Charlie: “Do you have a friend wearing a green dress tonight?”

Pretty Pirate: “Um, yeah I think so”

Charlie: “Cause she just walked by and was real pleased with what she saw going on over here”

Pretty Pirate: “Really?” [grabs me on both shoulders and pulls herself close]

[At this point my attention is more on green dress because she is stunning. If these two are friends I’d prefer to pass on kissing pretty pirate if it means I can go try with green dress]

Charlie: “My mom warned me about girls like you”

Pretty Pirate: “Huh, what did she say?”

Charlie: “Yeah she said they would make me late for work.”

Pretty Pirate: “HAHAHAHA”

Charlie: “I told her not to worry because there are no girls like that in NYC. Only pirates”

Pretty Pirate: “Oh boy. That may be true . . . but I really need to find my sister now. Wait here I’ll be right back when I find her”

Charlie: “Good luck Captain Jack.”

The girl in the green dress who stared at us winds up wandering back in my direction before the Pirate can return with her sister.

Charlie: “Do you know the girl with the eye patch”

Green Dress: “No”

Charlie: “Well I assumed so by the way you were staring”

The rest of the conversation is an insane mix of her staring into my eyes while saying nothing. We are hardly talking and the push/pull is taking place mostly physically. She is a model. And unfortunately, she responds way better to pushing than pulling. Which is weird because she is hanging on me, and when I pull her to kiss, she balks. But then when I push, she gets right back in there.

I can’t even tell you exactly what was said because it was mostly her throwing her hands around my neck and staring at me, but resisting when I pulled her close. The whole thing was a total pissing match. Her trying to win my validation (at which point she would be bored) and me trying to withhold it while staying in the pocket. Both of us were fronting hard and real conversation never really occurred.

In retrospect, I screwed up by being too combative. This girl definitely had a competitive streak and when I never flipped to the “same team” mentality it was just a pissing match. I would have been better served to ask probing questions and find out more about her.

Her friends took her out to smoke. When she got back in she drug me over. We were leaving so I told her to come to the coat check with me. The bouncers shuffled us around, so I tried to get her number. She was eager to but I don’t think I will hear back from her, because the truth is we didn’t really connect.

Moral though: Give push/pull a shot. Overdo it. Worst case you miss out on a few girl, best case you have a breakthrough like I did :-)