I stumbled upon this subreddit two weeks ago in desperation. I'm a fairly successful guy in almost all other aspects of life. I've got a badass job, I'm in excellent shape, and have a 4.0 gpa. Despite all of this, I've put in almost zero effort to become better with women up to this point in my life (21 y/o) and have experienced nothing but a few makeout sessions. I grew up in an incredibly small, highly religious town in the Midwest. Instead of pushing out of my comfort zone and striving to build social circles elsewhere I buried my head in books and fitness, assuming women would flock to me when I got to college (with no effort on my part).

As you can imagine that didn't happen. This last month I realized that I was turning into a bit of a loser, those who know me are aware that I'm a pretty successful, motivated guy but I felt like I've reached an age where having no relationship experience starts to seem a little weird. Especially when there are no external factors to blame for my circumstance. My primary goal in life is being accepted into a sort of alpha male field that involves going through arduous physical and mental tests. Because I still have my V-Card at 21, I couldn't (still struggle with it occasionally) shake the thought that I must lack some necessary trait that the guys in this field have. This thought began to eat away at me over the last while and served as a catalyst that caused me to recognize that I need to make major changes to this aspect of my life.

After reading here, I developed a game plan which was based around taking the same level of tenacity I used to achieve other goals in my life and committing fully to apply them in this area.

So, last night, for the first time, I went out to a club completely unafraid of rejection or fucking up. I recognized that this road will be bumpy, and very difficult at first but it was time to buck up and get moving. I've never been a great dancer, but I just said fuck it and approached 8 girls over the course of 3 hours. I ended up making out with 3, danced with 3, and got rejected by 2. It was tough,as I've never really experienced being rejected in front of a group of 4 women but I didn't really care. I had a mission to do and they're the ones who missed out. By midnight I recognized that it was time to lock something down if I was going to be successful in pulling. I found a cute little blonde and pulled her over to me and she was immediately receptive. I escalated quickly and she showed no hesitation towards it. Soon we were making out, and I asked what her plans were. She accepted to come back to my place so I called a cab and had her laughing all the way back.

By the time we got inside she couldn't keep her hands off of me. I've never experienced this, but I brushed any doubtful thoughts out of my mind and completely faked it. Sure the alcohol helped, but she seemed to think I was quite experienced. It was like instincts just took over and I went on autopilot. After ten minutes of this I asked for the green light to have sex. She was somewhat drunk and I've heard horror stories about rape charges so I played this very carefully. I told her I needed a yes, and if she wanted me to stop all she had to say was red (her favorite colour). She said no, because she was worried about a one night stand and what her friends might think. She couldn't keep her hands off me, but yet kept saying no. As a result, we just kept making out and I would occasionally ask if she had changed her mind. After about half an hour of this I just told her she needed to make up her mind. She sort of shook her head and very softly whispered 'no' again, so I got up and called her a cab without saying another word to her. Unsurprisingly, that killed the mood. Shortly after the cab arrived and she left. She doesn't live nearby, so I probably won't see her again.

Anyways, I'm feeling a little bittersweet about this whole thing. Although I took action and gained more experience in 5 hours than I've had in pretty much my entire life, I still have my V-card at 21 years old. I read a post today regarding shit tests, and a guy had mentioned a similar situation to mine and just went for it with success. His rationale was that if you stop and ask for everything it will kill the mood almost immediately. Which is exactly what I found. Nonetheless, I will always take not having sex over facing a potential rape charge. My concern is where that boundary is and if I'm over analyzing things and just need to take control of the situation next time if she's clearly into it and not any signs of hesitation. Obviously I would never force or pressure anyone into anything they weren't comfortable with, but I also have a tendency to drastically over analyze things. Perhaps there is a better way to ask for consent without killing the mood?

Besides that, do you guys have any tips or thoughts on this in general? I've been told I'm a little hard on myself with the whole inexperience thing and should focus on myself and school. On the other hand, I feel like I'm at an age now where being almost completely inexperienced in this area is abnormal and perhaps a bit weird. I'm conflicted on this, and would also appreciate any input regarding how to continue improving or correct any obvious mistakes I made.

Despite my failure to pull last night I'm still glad I've found this community. I have a feeling the info available here is going to be an absolute game changer for me. Within a week I've already gained equal or more experience than I've had in my entire life. Again, any input is appreciated.

Happy New Years!