First off, things I did well:

  • AA isn’t much of a thing anymore
  • Interactions were man to woman. I can display my intent without necessarily saying it explicitly (eye contact and body language fundamentals are decent). I get up real close to the girls as recommended in multiple places by the RSD guys (particularly Jeffy).
  • In a similar vein, I have made good progress in the past couple weeks in terms of my comfort touching girls.

Things I didn’t do well:

  • Wasn’t as icy as I could be. That’s something I was doing decent a couple weeks ago, but which I need to work on again. It’s tricky because it’s not something you “do” the way you “do” opens and kino, etc.
  • Forgot Julien’s advice about sets of 3 or more, where you open your target and then engage the friends when you have to
  • Tonality didn’t feel that on point tonight

My main problem nowadays is that I can get girls to engage, but can’t really get them attracted. I very often get stuck in this sort of witty banter/combative flirtation with girls, and my wing says he thinks my being stuck in that mode makes girls either lose attraction or not get attracted, and that I need to be more real. He references Todd’s Value-Comfort Model, which I need to review. I think I need a bigger sample size and more definitive signals to see if this is really my problem, but has anyone ever dealt with this sticking point? Where you get girls to engage, and can make your intentions known, but don’t know how to really get them attracted and invested in the interaction?

I’m not really a dancing monkey (I know what it’s like to be one, and that’s not what I have been doing lately), and a lot of the stuff I say genuinely amuses me/should be written down, but I really do feel like I just go out and “hit on” girls and even though I get some positive feedback from them, I don’t get any sexual interest. I can approach semi-confidently, put myself on the table as a sexual option, am less afraid to touch them, and am funny, but I get nothing and the opportunities to get anything are rare. Where do I go from here?

/u/kennotheking got back from a very long trip a couple days ago, and we hit Bungalow in Santa Monica tonight. He opened the first set, 3 ladies in their 30's. When I come in, I start bantering with them. Now my witty banter is appreciated by 2/3 (I think I actually offended the third one inadvertently by saying she looked like kind of like Lilly Allen (reviewing pics of Lilly Allen, I can see why I thought that, but yeah I was mostly off)), but it's just a bunch of witty combative flirtation. The one who doesn't like me just sort of fucks off, the other two stick around for a bit and excuse themselves politely.

This was a warmup/sacrifice of the lamb, so I'm not particularly concerned with it except that I worry I was to reactive. There were some things I just shouldn't responded to.

The next set, if I'm not forgetting one, was this two set of very hot blondes. They responded well (which kind of surprised me). I told one I could imagine her working in a candy store. The other looked at her and was like "that was a compliment". And then the target of my compliment asked me if it was. I said something kind of dumb. What should I have said?

The next set was at first blush a two set. False! But anyways, I open and it's cool and Ken is talking to one and I am talking to one who is real into it. I say some shit about how I break into libraries to use the internet and scare the children. Various stuff like that for the most part. I get very close and when I lean in to say things she reciprocates and we go cheek to cheek. This teaches me a new test of where I am at with a girl that I employ later in the night. High five to test as well and we interlock. So with the way things are going and the non-verbal feedback I am getting, I'm like great, I can probably isolate her and at least get a make-out if not a lay (she was kind of chub, I think it was within my powers...I hope it was within my powers, fuck). However, as I start to include the friend and Ken in my discussion of how we are going to try to get the girl I am talking to into a fight, suddenly this mixed set behind them is like "hey we're going over there" and I'm like "[lolwut] are those your friends?" and they're like "yeah" and go join them, and the girl I am talking to just bounces out. Could I have done something? I don't know, maybe I could have tried to pull her back for a quick number, but I don't know. It was odd how abrupt she left given the tenor of our interaction.

Anyways, after this there ensues a period of rejections/sets that don't quite hook to varying degrees. Two in particular I should mention. The first was a 3 set inside where one hooked, but the friends didn't. This one was notable because a) it is a good example of a current flaw in my game, which is that my default is to be flippant. I was pretty flippant with the friends of the girl I opened (who subsequently spoke to Ken), but at least I sort of caught myself and calibrated. Kind of. My way of calibrating was to say "I'm sure you're nice. Your soul is like a Hallmark card that shines through". Told them I haven't spoken to girls in 3 years, but practiced on my sister beforehand (credit Jeffy). Kept riffing on that. Said look at how nervous I am, and held out my totally steady hand. They were semi-amused and I was unflinching, but they had no interest in me, so they peaced.

Then there was one that I opened I spoke too fast. They didn't all hear me. My bad. I peaced out of there earlier than Ken. Nowadays I just gtfo if I sense a set isn't going anywhere.

Mixed up in there was one that actually did hook, but they were weird.

Last sat was the oddest though. It was a very petite cute brown girl and her very...let us say Shrek friend. I opened by saying they were trying to start a little dance party, but that the party was right here (pointing at myself). Not really sure what else, petite girl was giggling early on. They ask me if I'm alone and I just lie and say "yes" for reasons I don't understand myself.

I spy Ken in the background, creeping. I think he's going to come. He doesn't. I'm like damn I really need him to talk to the friend here. So I text him to come here. In the meantime, I try some kino on the little one, and she backs off, so I back off. But then in a minute, I do the cheek-to-cheek check thing and she reciprocates, and is then pretty receptive to kino thereafter. And that's one theme going on here: she's very hot and cold this girl. One minute she'll be giggling at something I say, the next she's literally just sulking for no discernible reason. Eventually, Ken arrives and attempts to talk to the friend.

The funny thing about Ken's arrival is that the way he popped into set seemed so accidental that I knew even as I said "this is my friend" I knew they weren't going to believe me because I had told them I was there alone. And then to top it off one of us made a joke about having met two minutes ago. I fucked up; I should cleared the air.

Anyways, his arrival allows me to talk to the little one one-on-one. This doesn't necessarily help. It's still a weird hot and cold thing. At some point asks me if I drink and I'm like "yeah I do but I'm not drinking at the moment had a drink earlier etc etc" and for basically the rest of the interaction she somehow continues to be under the impression that I don't drink. Like, it was really unclear whether she was joking, and even if she was, the way she was harping on it it was like the way an insecure kid keeps telling the same joke to his peers even though it's definitely not funny after the first time. The hot and coldness continues. And we're not one-on-one for long when the friend's jealousy emotions flare the fuck up.

The assessment from Ken and I after we left was that this was definitely her insecurity rearing its ugly head. I haven't been in the game that long, so I've never seen a friend trying to kill the interaction so aggressively. She was like a kid whining to their parent about wanting to leave somewhere boring. The third time she said to her friend "let's go get a drink" I was like "yeah, let's go get a drink" and kind of moved the whole group closer to the bar. The small one wasn't interested in leaving. Unfortunately, she was also interested in getting me to buy her a drink. Of course, I jokingly said she should buy me a drink. She would not let that shit go. And then when she's ordering, she's like "what do you want" and she looks at me like she wants me to kiss her (downcast eyes, parted lips--maybe I am totally mistaken about what her face meant though) while we're at the bar and her friend is behind her tugging at her about "let's go smoke a cigarette". My response is idiotic in retrospect. I should have just said the name of a drink and dealt with the payment later, but instead I said "oh are you buying" or something, which just reignited that whole thing. Maybe I should have kissed her, who knows. Anyways, she then started saying some shit about how I reminded her of "the typical brown dude". I said I didn't believe her but she just kept talking saying something about white dudes like her because she looks exotic and they buy her drinks. And then she finished with "well, now I told you my secret so you can leave". I was like "? I think I'll stick around for a bit" or something.

That basically concluded that though. Some things I could have done better:

  • I should have treated much more of her behavior like one big shit test and responded accordingly, with icyness, by ignoring it, changing to more upbeat subjects, scrambling her with silliness, etc.
  • When she asked me to buy her a drink, a simple smile + "no" would have sufficed and will be what I employ next time this comes up.

I think she had some issues...I could have run better game, but she was still weird at the end of the day. And the friend was an intractable problem. Not only was she just not down to let her friend have fun, they were even staying in the same hotel room.

I think an advanced guy might have been able to handle this set, but it was just too dicey por mi.