I realized that by glazing over the goals section in the first days I may have done a disservice to some of those reading this. I am going through this challenge in order to surmount some level of approach anxiety, to be good at meeting people on my own (I’m quite good when I have others to bounce jokes off), to appear extraverted from the onset (I usually take a lengthy warm-up period), and to be able to approach women and have a conversation and turn it romantic/sexual in order to escalate sexual tension quickly. I am not starting from square 1, but i know there is ample room to improve.

(Side note: The running thing with this whole 30day process is that you feel like you are rushing for a frat that only you know about. It’s your own secret, and each day’s missions are your own unique thing. It’s kinda cool.. now on to the FR)

Day 4:

Mission 1: Hit the showers. After not showering day three, you are supposed to feel extra clean after showering, shaving, so on. I showered day three, but still felt good after showering this morning. The purpose is just to do whatever you can to make yourself feel awesome, including a self-affirming mantra into the mirror. There’s one written in the book. Again, I felt silly, but I looked at myself in those godiva chocolate eyes and I told myself how goddam charming and charismatic I am. And ya know what? I was very convincing.

Mission 2: The self-affirming is so that you would be ready to hit the town. I had to walk up to 3 girls I don’t know, and ask them for a recommendation on a clothing store for “trendy, nice male clothing.” I parked at a Panera, and just started walking down the street. Approaching the first girl, I definitely had some approach anxiety. I’m not overly shy, but for whatever reason, this felt hard at first. Perhaps it was the canned subject choice that felt so fake. Perhaps it was just that I usually make jokes and smile to random girls, but rarely have the intent to open a conversation with random girls on the street.

(1) The first girl I came across I said, “Hi! I have a question for you. My brother wears the same size clothing as me, and he dresses way better than I do, I was wondering if you know a place I could go to buy him clothing?” She smiled, “You know you’re close to ---- Mall right?” “No, actually” I played dumb. “Well just follow down this street, then turn left on 42nd, and then follow that down to Elm, and you can take that all the way down to the mall. They have all kinds of things, like Dillards, Armani, etc.” “Thanks!” and I moved on. I actually think I learned from that approach. My pretense made no sense in retrospect..(why the hell did it matter he wore my size?!), and not only did I make the subject about my brother and not myself, I belittled myself (although jokingly) in the process. So I thought I’d change tactics. Kept walking down the street, walked into a bar.

(2) Now, maybe it’s cheating to ask a bartender, since she can’t exactly run away, but people don’t just walk the streets at 1pm where I live. This time, it felt much easier. “What can I get for you?” she asked. New opener, “hey, I actually have a question that has nothing to do with beer.” She smiled and raised one eyebrow so slightly, interested. “Ok..” “Where can I go to get some really nice clothes around here? Are there men’s stores like that?” She too was eager to give directions, coincidentally to the same mall. She then apologized, “I’m not really a shopper, so that’s all I could say.” “You’re not a shopper? Christmas must be a rough time for you!” She laughed. “Thanks!” I told her, “Maybe I’ll be back for beer in a bit!” She smiled, “sounds good.”

(3) Girl three was also working, but I caught her eye first when she wasn’t behind the counter. One of the other challenges was to get someone’s attention with eye contact alone, so this worked. She moved behind the counter and smiled, “What would you like?” “Actually, I’m not sure yet. I have a different question for you. Where do you think I could go to get some really good-looking men’s clothes?” She too offered quickly to help, again with the same mall. She too gave full directions. Then she too apologized! “I’m sorry, that’s all I know, I’m not from around here,” and smiled. This opened up a conversation, with jokes traded back and forth. I thanked her and she looked down at the cash register, smiled, and looked back at me as she brushed her hair behind her ear. Classic. And then I walked back to car, victorious. It got much easier from 1 to 3, and I realized that the girls were apologizing to me for not knowing enough about a subject I asked! It was so strange. And I could definitely feel the potential for building attraction in the second two even without trying to “hit on them.”

Mission 3: About posture. Just to hold yourself against a wall and take inventory on your posture. Did this along with 1 in the morning. Hardly even worth the space to type it. Walk proud and tall gentlemen. I will probably put up day 5 on 12/26. takin xmas off for jesus.