Day 6:

Mission 1: Conquering approach anxiety. Another short article, very cognitive therapy-esque, about conquering fear and why it’s silly. Fluff, really. I’d say words are useless until you have the will to act on them. Which, serendipitously, is mission 2!

Mission 2: Give 4 spontaneous compliments to women. At least two must be strangers. (In other words, two don’t have to be..). Today’s mission was complicated by the fact that I was doing last minute Christmas shopping, and my sister was tagging along.

  1. Our first stop was Target. We were seeking a gift for my mom while I simultaneously sought out a woman to compliment. As we were leaving, I saw one. I sent my sister to pay, told her I’d be right there. The first one was a drive-by. “Hi! Those shoes are awesome!” I said, with a big smile and great eye contact, but without even breaking stride “Thanks!” she replied enthusiastically. One down, but I was displeased at the manner in which I obtained it. We will press forward.

Side note: I am foregoing the traditional HB# system. Among friends I’ve used the simply binary 0 or 1. You either would fuck her or you wouldn’t. I think this is better because when you approach, an 8 vs 10 doesn’t matter. But a 6 you’d fuck vs a 5 you wouldn’t does matter. It is a matter of insecurity when you are worried about being rejected. If you don’t give a damn, it is easier. And that is the only significant distinction. I set 6 as the fuck line. 6+ fuckable, 6- not, and 6… how drunk am i. Girl 1 was a 6+.

Next stop was Best Buy. Sister had to wait at geek squad for computer help, so I was on my own. I was also distracted looking for a gift for my dad. I wanted to find a female to ask for help, but a dude found me first. He told me they didn’t have the item I was looking for. Dejected to have been rejected by a dude, I pressed on, and realized this could be to my advantage. I could now ask a female worker about an item I knew didn’t exist, and I could use it to spend more time with her before complimenting her.

(2) Finally I did. 6-. “Hey do you have blah blah?” “Hmm, I don’t think so..” we walked over to where I had just been told the item didn’t exist. “That’s ok,” I said. “But your nails are really cool!” She had acrylic patterned nails, whatever... “Thanks.” “How long does that take you to do?” “About 20 minutes..” “Wow, that’s impressive. What do you use to do it?” “I go somewhere to get it done” “Oh… well that’s cheating. But they look good! Thanks for the help!”

On these first two interactions I realized I wasn’t seeing the forest through the trees. I was getting the job done, but it was so caught up in the compliment itself, I was losing the natural flow of getting a conversation started. This program is very goal oriented, and it is easy to focus so much on those goals that you lose sight of what the purpose is. Do not compliment the girl and then run instead of enjoying what you’ve just done. As long as you recognize the bigger picture around the challenges, you'll have a good time.

(3) I’m creepin around in the movie section now, and I walk next to a definite 6+ looking at the racks, frowning. “You look as upset as I feel” I said. She sighed. “I don't get any of this shit!” she indicated to movies, and I realized for the first time I was in the horror section. “Haha they're not for everyone, but I guess that's what you get for waiting til the last day before christmas to do your shopping.” She laughed and I went back to pretend browsing. After a couple of seconds I picked a random movie off the shelf, “You can't go wrong with Bait 3d” I showed her. She laughed, louder this time. “Those boots are great,” I said, indicating patterned Ugg-type shoes. “Are they warm? I should probably get some.” The whole conversation I was facing the racks somewhat, browsing in the opposite direction of her. She laughed again and I turned to exit.

Next, I walked to the CD aisle w girl. Probably 6even. Looked her up and down. And realized there was nothing to compliment. Moved on and joined sister in the interminable geek squad line.

While there I saw a girl from high school standing in line. I am not exaggerating when I say she may be the single most unattractive person I’ve seen who doesn’t have an actual genetic problem. Normally, I ignore people I know when I see them in public, unless they are a very close friend. But I saw her and I realized that the point of this was to get more comfortable approaching people. So I did. It was brief, and it was just a “hey, what are you up to” small talk nonsense, but I did it.
My sister had finished and we were leaving. I had done 3 so far. We got in the car, and I looked at her “Hey, those boots are pretty cool.” She beamed. It was worth it doing one non-stranger compliment just to see her that happy. Mission 3: Get 8 hours of sleep in anticipation of the great day 7! (I don’t know what that entails yet, but apparently I need sleep) Next post will be a short one on the evening of day 6. Advice would be greatly appreciated.