My first post is really a thank you to everyone and perhaps another testimonial to the fact that changing yourself is really possible.

TL;DR - I had my first success last night after recently getting out of a LTR, all thanks to what I've learned on Seddit!

I've been lurking for about a month and a half ever since my wife moved out. We had been together for 8 years. When I wasn't spending my time wondering why she decided she couldn't be happy with me, I worried that I was going to have a really rough time as a 30 year old bachelor. I've never been one to approach and talk to strangers, especially not attractive women. I also felt like I have a dwindling pool of single women from my social circles as my group of friends are the get-married-and-have-kids type although this turns out to not necessarily be the case.

Refusing to succumb to depression, I found my way to this sub after deciding that I know I can learn to be a charming, interesting guy that can walk up and talk to anyone. So that's what I did.

I started with just opening. I'd think of something funny or situational to open with, work on eye contact, then bail out before anything can go wrong. Even that was kinda hard, but I got used to it. I then started trying to extend the conversation a little with threading, and it worked, but I still bailed out. I guess I was still being afraid of things getting awkward, which is obviously stupid as hell, but this is as much about self-control as anything else. It got better with practice. Then I tried a little kino, maybe a small amount of escalation - but it felt forced. So I "forced" it. And it never went bad.

This brings us to last night. I just got home after a 9 hour drive through snow coming back from my uncle's funeral. I was tired and pretty sad about losing my uncle (cancer fucking sucks), but I knew I needed to go out and try to have some fun. I called some friends, no one was going out. Fuck it, I went alone. I took a cab downtown and used all the things I've read to get myself in state.

First bar I go to I totally luck out. A friend's wife is there with 4 of her girlfriends (HB7-9). I had met two of them before but didn't really know them other than their names. I chat and chat and chat. I ask questions and more questions. I tease them about their answers, then I compliment them. Works like a champ.

Two of the gals go home, and two of the remaining three are married so I now have a clear target (HB8). I don't zero in on her but attempt to clearly express interest without being needy or clingy at all. I join her and the other two at another bar for dancing. I hate dancing because I'm terribly white and its embarrassing, but there's no room for embarrassment. I just go for it. Dance with HB8. It's excellent.

Later a dude comes over to try to approach the girls I'm with. I should have asked if he was a fellow sedditor (If you are John, hit me up), he was alone and I could see all the things he was doing. I let him chat with HB8 for a while and then when the moment was right slid inbetween the two and started dancing.

We were all about to leave when the married two disappear leaving me with HB8. I think I owe my friend's wife a drink :) We go outside and they're totally gone. I suggest we go to another bar down the street. We end up sitting on a couch in the corner and then the conversation gets good. I escalate like I've never escalated before. I was also way drunker than I should have been, but it didn't matter because I was totally in the zone. One thing in particular I remember - we had an extremely attractive waitress who HB8 tells me I should try to pick up. I counter by asking her if she's ever had a threesome and then flirt with the waitress when she came back with our drinks. A little later HB8 was sucking on my fingers for no particular reason.

Basically, I seemed to do everything right the entire night. I'm sure I could have done things better in certain situations, but I didn't screw anything up. Turns out she lives very close to me so we share a cab. We get to her place and I pay for the cab and then get out with her. She said "I don't remember saying you were coming in with me", I replied "you're kicking me out already? I haven't even been inside yet!". I think she caught the double entendre, laughed, and said "nope. come on". Yadda, yadda, yadda... I woke up this morning with a huge smile on my face.