Frat Parties

oniononion1 · 2017-09-29T04:52:52+00:00

Frat guy here, I'm by no means a player but I do quite well for myself during our parties. Here's what I do, and what you can change to see better results:

I always hear to not have sex with someone if either person is under the influence of alcohol

Yeah that's a tricky thing and is really up to your better judgement. Alcohol is very much a social lubricant, many people consume it in social settings so that they can feel less inhibited and awkward. Never drink so much that you totally lose control, since you're a freshman you are not as experienced and it may take a while for you to strike the right balance. And it goes without saying that if you find a girl that is so intoxicated she barely knows what's going on, she can't consent and any advances on her are assault. Alcohol is a useful tool when applied in the right amounts.

But I literally see people go out at night looking to do that exact thing

Believe it or not some girls will go out looking for a hookup and will consume alcohol so that they can tell their friends (and to some extent, themselves) that they are not responsible for falling victim to a one night stand. This is sort of a cheat to get around being slut-shamed.

Alright, now let's get into some advice, here's where you are fucking up and how you can fix it:

When I'm pregaming at the frat when girls are there

Mistake number one, I never pregame with girls. Pregaming is a time to get hyped with the brothers. Pregaming is like warmups in football, it's a time to get adjusted and in the flow. During this time you should be with the guys you know drinking, joking around and generally having a low-key good time with. Throw on a comedy special on Netflix or something and slowly get your brain into happy/chill mode. Once you make your way to the party proper you're rolling up with your squad joking and smiling, people will see you and your boys having a good time and will gravitate toward, or be intimidated by you. Make sure your shoulders are squared, feet shoulder-length apart, and chin pointed slightly upward with a nice smile. This is your fucking house, you run the place.

I try talking to them and they don't seem interested

I don't personally know you or your personality so I can't really speculate on what you're doing wrong, but here's how I have a killer conversation at a party:

Rarely do I actually open with girls on my own, instead I have other people do it for me. Now you may think this goes against conventional wisdom but I've met nothing but success with this method. I'll find a group of people chatting that have my friends in it and will butt-in with confidence. Just roll up all confident and be like "hey guys, what are we talking about?" From there if there is a girl that I am interested in who is friends with one of my brothers, I will whisper to him to introduce me. An even better method is to have one of your brothers' girlfriend, friend or fuck buddy introduce you, that's why it's really important to surround yourself with dudes who are getting laid. This is a solid strategy because since this is the first time she is meeting you, she perceives you as not being a random outsider, but as a part of the social fabric of the community, someone who her friend trusts. I'm not going to go too far into how the conversation goes as it varies widely from girl to girl and there are plenty of guides on this sub and and the internet that will walk you through it. But what I always make sure to do is ask her about what she studies, why she studies it, and what she hopes to do with it. You want her to communicate her hopes and dreams to you, so many other guys don't do this and it will set you apart. While she's talking about her hopes and dreams interject with relatable information about yourself, tell her about all that cool shit you do in your free time and when away from school. Side note: if you find yourself struggling to come up with cool shit, start doing cool shit ASAP. Seriously, get the fuck out of your dorm and find stuff to do; travel, art, learn fucking Mongolian throat singing I don't know. Tease her about things, ask if she's been hanging out at another frat and if she has be like "oh, I don't know how I feel about that ;)." It is also of vital importance that all throughout the conversation you kino, kino, kino! When asking a question, making a point or teasing her subtly poke her forearm and elbow. Always be in her personal space, when in conversation be closer in proximity to her than what would normally be considered socially acceptable. If she doesn't back away this is a good sign. Maintain strong eye contact and remember, smile!

I know some people suggest inviting the girl outside to talk but I feel that comes off as desperate

The vast majority of how humans communicate is not through the words we use, but how our voice and body reflect what we mean. When you say and do anything, whether it's with this girl or somewhere in your professional life, you have to fucking lead. You need to communicate to her that you are in charge of this interaction, that you know what you are doing and that its outcome has no bearing on your ego. So, once you have a conversation going, invite her outside or to play beer pong. Pong is great because it is fun and allows for many opportunities for kino. when someone scores, high five her but lock your finger with hers and squeeze a little. when she misses pat her on the lower back and say she just need practice. Beer pong or not (it's best not to wait a half hour for a game to clear up, your time is valuable) ask her to go outside so that you and her can talk without the noise. Be like "Let's go outside and talk where it's not so loud." Remember what I said about leading? She is under your charge, you have to communicate that you are making decision for each others collective action. You are calling the shots in this interaction. lead her outside by placing your hand on the small of her back and walking with her like that, if you are feeling extra good about the interaction lightly clasp her fingers and lead her by the hand, girls like a romantic. Once outside continue the conversation, but this time be more daring with your kino, stand closer, reach for her hand while still maintaining eye contact and in conversation. If she doesn't resist, it's more than likely she is okay with going further, if she smiles, blushes or gives you "the eyes" it means she is more than okay with going further. Finally place your hands on her hips and bring her into you, tilt your head to one side and go for the kiss.

Being a good kisser is important, but that's something that takes study and practice. It's worth investing some time researching how to French kiss like a stud. Just last week I had a girl tell me I was such a good kisser, I'd never felt like more of a stud. Spend a good amount of time kissing, the longer the better. Alternate from softly sucking on the lips, to caressing her tongue with yours, and sucking on her neck. Become more daring with your hands, move from the hips to just under the boobs, brush against the boobs, I am now famous in my frat for saying "the nipples are how you win," girls' nipples are very sensitive and will make them go crazy, it also might earn you the nickname "nipguy" like it did with me. Once she's hot and heavy suggest you go somewhere with more privacy, she may suggest her room, if she doesn't suggest your room. If she says no, don't get too bent out of shape about it, sex was never a given from the start.

This got way longer than I expected but I had fun writing it and I hope you have fun putting it into action. Feel free to ask any questions either through a reply or via PM. If any other more experienced guys on this sub have more input or want to critique my method, please do, I am in no way a master and am still working on my form.

From one frat bro to another; stay ZAXy

bp1dan · 2017-09-28T22:19:36+00:00

There's a difference between 'we've had a few beers' and 'so drunk she doesn't know what she's doing'.

There's nothing desperate about taking her outside if it's done right. Things like 'do you want to get some air?' work fine. Or say you're enjoying talking to her but its loud and you don't want to keep shouting over music. There are non desperate ways, my friend!

isthisathrowaway19 · 2017-09-30T01:06:26+00:00

hi, ex sorority girl here (i was kicked out for moving to a different school lol). Theres a difference between being blackout drunk (not forming new memories) vs being passed out drunk (unconscious on the floor) vs just being regular drunk. the first two mean a person cant give consent. the third one is kindof iffy, but id say usually if both parties are about equally drunk and both are giving enthusiastic consent, its ok. then theres also just having had a few drinks and being buzzed, which obviously the person is still able to give consent :)

just because youre in a frat doesnt mean its necessarily going to be way easier to get laid. my sisters were typically somewhat picky in the frat guys they would sleep with, because they didnt want to cause issues between our sorority and their fraternity (like if something went wrong and one of them caught feelings and it got awkward or something).

as to not hooking up with people on the first meeting... ehh, i dont really think it makes someone look bad, but it does depend on the culture of your school a bit i guess.

i agree with most of what oniononion1 said, with a few exceptions:

...some girls will consume alcohol so that they can tell... themselves that they are not responsible for falling victim to a ONS. this is sortof a cheat to get around being slut shamed.

^ im sure some girls do do that, but i would argue that more girls drink alcohol so that they can have fun with less inhibitions. in my sorority anyhow, we were very anti slut shaming (or virgin shaming or shaming any girl for her sexual experience or lack thereof)

also his whole bit about "being in charge" i could take it or leave it. most likely i personally would leave it, since im not a huge fan of feeling like someone is trying to take away my agency/decisions. depends on the girl tho.

BIGJ0N · 2017-09-28T22:46:24+00:00

Frat parties are dope. It'll get easier with time. You're only going to get to know people better, get more confident, get smoother.

Make sure you look good and make sure you continue to approach and continue to try. You'll get better at it very quickly if you're really making an effort

SirMaxAlot · 2017-09-28T22:57:44+00:00

The ones who get laid or talk the most about getting laid at the parties are the ones who probably recently had sex at a party for the first time, or have been talking to the girl for weeks leading up to the party.As someone who lived in a frat, I can say smoking helps a lot. If you don't smoke just walk around the house and find someone who's not in basement or wherever the party isn't happening. If a girl is at a party but not at the party, it means she's looking for other people to hang out with. Hang out with her. I wouldn't have any expectations for banging a chick who you just met on the dance floor. It's super cool when it happens, and it will be bragged about, but you have better chances the old fashion way, by getting drunk and talking. When it comes to frats I did better when the girl got to know me first (I.E. hang out drunk a few times at a party). Most importantly, rather than looking at a party for a way to get laid, view it as a chance to meet more girls.

tjger · 2017-09-30T05:53:57+00:00

Economics and Attraction explains this clearly:

You usually can't just crash a frat party. That means that the ones who make it to the party have some sort of value. Girls know this. Just by being in a party, you are instantly somehow valuable to them. It happened to me once, a girl just approached me and it was funny because I really didn't have to do much to get her to like me.

Title	Frat Parties
Author	ice_jj
Upvotes	10
Comments	6
Date	September 28, 2017 10:07 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/733hnc/frat_parties/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/frat-parties.1434475 https://theredarchive.com/post/1434475

Comments