I usually refrain from posting FRs or discussing personal life online, but this is worth posting as some lessons were learned. I have opened up a lot recently after stumbling upon Seddit. Here's my background: ex-AFC - I have become very outgoing, more self-confident, self-aware, and I have started socializing and striking convos with random people. I am not very good at expressing myself, so bare with me.

I had number closed this HB9 a week or two ago at a party with the intent of dating/f-closing her. Oh boy, she looked attractive that night, and my Seddit mind quickly fixed a lunch date with her for last week. The texting game that followed was good - short, to the point replies without unnecessary questions. She reciprocated well and apparently, she loves smiley faces ;). I kept negging her over texts and used push-and-pull effectively with how she is self-conscious and is a bad cook with other similar stuff. Note: She hardly initiated a convo. over text. It was mostly me who texted her with a gap of few days.

She was 10 minutes late for the date, but I didn't care as I was enjoying a sports magazine. The lunch date went well and I managed to fix another dinner/drinks date at my apt. I texted her after 2 days followed by texting on alternate days since then, and she was reciprocating well. I must have become over-confident because of these recent developments which leads the fR coming up in the following paragraphs.

Fast forward to the date: I call her 30 mins prior to our meet up to ask her not to be late like last time (neg), and she said she was ready. I suggested I driver her up to my apt about 2 miles from her place, but she suggests we should walk (definitely an IOI). I meet her up at the meeting point and she gives me an unexpected hug (IOI again). We walk and talk with shoulders brushing and me using push-pull to make it even more fun. I ask her general questions about her likings and what she does for fun. To be in the right frame, I ask her beforehand if she needs to be back soon to which she says, "no". Good for me! One more thing I ask is "what is the latest you have been up till?" She responds, she was up til 6am last night after she had gone to a local pub. The first thing that comes to my mind was she must have slept with someone or done something kinky (lol), but I do not want to presume that as she hasn't portrayed herself as someone who will go around sleeping with people. Nonetheless, I make up my mind to have a direct, confident approach and know what I am doing. While crossing each busy street, I held her hand to match her pace with with mine even though the cars were at a distance. She did casually comment on that with a giggle, but I didn't care much and continued to be the alpha male.

We reach our apt, I lock the door, get out two beers and a bag of chips, and play the TV show on my XBOX. (Note: I am a rookie drinker and I haven't explored my limits yet) I have already seen that episode so I keep engaging in conversations with her, and she is enjoying it. I mentally and even physically use push-and-pull. I tickle her, push her if she says something offensive, hug her over the shoulders if she is being adorable, and she likes it. After a drink or two, I casually put my hands around her shoulders to give her indications. Only my hand is touching her shoulder, not the whole arm length (AFC me?). Also, the distance between my thighs and hers were a few inches. After a couple of more drinks, I rest my whole arm on her shoulder with no resistance from her. She did cough a few times, but I didn't care much as I was a bit drunk and was enjoying it. She is laughing her ass off to another TV show, but she has only had 2 bottles. This disbalances our state of mind as I was on my way to the pearly gates, while she was still in her senses.

In the middle of the show while I am recalling the whole kino escalation ladder, she receives a call from a family member and talks for a while. She sits down after being done on the phone and gets right back up to use the restroom during which I rush myself to the kitchen to get some water down my system. The worst part was I was drinking empty stomach because I was at work before meeting her and couldn't grab a bite due to time constraints. Anyway, she comes back and sits further away and I am a bit confused. I still try to put my arm around her, but only manage to get my hands to the center of her neck. She has really silky, smooth hair, and I am a sucker for silky straight hair. I am on my 5th bottle, while she is still finishing up her 2nd one with an excuse of being full as she had actually had dinner before meeting up with me. This was a a bit disappointing as I was preparing myself to cook her some dinner.

After say 20 minutes, she tells me how her family is texting her to give them some information on a paper lying in her room, and she has to do that in 45 minutes. I am thinking, what the fuck is going on... she earlier told me she didn't have to be back, but now she needs to go back. I don't think over it much and believed her. I ask her if she wanted me to stay and bring her back as I was going to walk her to her place anyway. She said she had a friend coming over who needs to discuss something, so she wasn't sure how long it would take. To which I asked, if she wanted to come back and have me wait for her or not? She replies, she doesn't want to be back at my place after XXpm, so it'd better if we meet up later. I suggest the next day or any of the weekdays, but she informs me she is really busy with some work (she did give a plausible explanation, but I won't write it all out here).

We get ready to walk out of the door, when my drunk mind tells me I blew it! My drunk mind rolls in the AFC me and makes me confess I am attracted to her, and if she would date me. ಠ_ಠ right? She responds that she doesn't know me that well, and she can't say yes or no. I ask her if she had any crushes or a bf by any chance. The answer was "no". This makes me come up with three things: (a) she is actually a really decent girl who will only end up in dating a guy if she knows him very well to avoid problems later (b) she doesn't want to be chained down by dating me and give up having fun with other guys (c) I didn't escalate kino fast enough. I walk out being a bit disappointed, and head over to her place. We're near her place and she tells me to part ways and catch a bush arriving in a few minutes. This time I initiate a hug, but don't get as good of a response as the first time we hugged when she initiated it.

I then walk back to my apt wondering what went wrong. Out of impatience, I text her after 10 mins "I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable", and immediately after hitting send, my subconscious is all FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!! She replies after an hour "no...sorry, still on phone with my family". I don't bother much and decide to not text her anymore. After 24 hours, I call her to grab a bite, but she says she is busy and will talk later about it.

Lessons Learned

  • Do not be impatient
  • Do not be over-confident
  • Do not drink empty stomach
  • Escalate kino faster

AskSeddit http://www.reddit.com/r/askseddit/comments/fop80/should_i_still_pursue_this_hb9/

Analyze and critique what went wrong and do post the lessons you learned from my experience. I have adopted the abundance mentality and I am not embarrassed about what happened. I will only get better with practice and a few bruises and broken bones :).

P.S. I will polish this up and include a TLDR in a few hours.