Giving number versus asking

seddittips · 2014-03-18T09:02:03+00:00

Also shows that you can't take matters into your own hands later when she texts you instead of you initiating a text. Puts way more pressure on her to contact you first since most girls wouldn't want to do that. You're giving her control instead of taking control like you should be. There's situations for this of course if you don't have your phone, etc. but I rather get her number instead of giving her mine.

recyclablebantha · 2014-03-18T12:56:51+00:00

I like giving my her my phone number rather than asking. This does two things:

Takes the pressure off her because really she doesn't know who I am.

It might feel like it takes the pressure off of YOU, but there are a number of problems with this.

You're giving up your power to directly initiate anything further. Which is bad in the West, because generally, girls associate the balls to ask for a number, with the confidence to be a guy who won't be awkward to be around.
You're screening out interested parties who might just want a guy to take the first few steps confidently. (Hint: giving her your number and walking, isn't really confident.)
You're really NOT taking the pressure off of her. You're putting pressure on her to be the initiator when, as you say, she doesn't really know who you are. Not to mention the fact that most girls really want a guy to initiate in the beginning.
If you're saying she "doesn't know who you are", it comes off like there's another issue you should really be addressing. She SHOULD have a strong (and positive) idea and impression about you before you EVER exchange numbers. I've gotten to where I don't even bother asking for a number until I'm already certain that she's already hooked and leaving with me, unless I find her interesting enough but bad logistics are separating us. If you're making a connection, it shouldn't be a matter of her "not knowing who you are". She should be comfortable enough that it won't matter AND so should YOU.

Saves me time from being strung along and being let down easy.

It does no such thing. It leaves you feeling like you did something, when you're really not doing what you think you're doing.

It means you're screening out girls who might have otherwise been down, but decided that you weren't confident enough to just ASK for their number. I know PLENTY of girls who have no problem with initiating and most of them STILL like a guy who shows enough confidence to just ask for their number.

If she likes me she'll text me right back with her name and number.

Again, your method is going to be screening out girls who were interested until you confused them by not showing them enough confidence to ask for their number. Giving a number is the equivalent of telling a lot of girls, "I really don't have much interest in you. Men usually initiate but I don't prioritize you highly enough to actually put any effort. If you pursue me, you'll have to do all the work."

Number exchanges are better than simply giving or getting, but really, seeing the interaction through to its conclusion and making a connection should be your goal before you even think about number closing.

HappyJerk · 2014-03-18T14:38:59+00:00

How does this work ok for you? Do they end up calling you?

If you're a busy person, which you should be, then giving girls your number is a bad idea because the girl could call you any day and chances are that you are busy that day, so you will have to turn her down. Girls hate rejection (or even the possibility of rejection) so they aren't going to call you even if they like you. And if they do call and you're busy, they're not going to keep trying. If you're busy, you should have HER number, and then call her when you're free. Sometimes I get a girl's number and never get around to calling her because I can't just make time. Otherwise, I have only 1 or 2 nights a week free for a new friend so I have to fit her in then.

You giving your girls number is basically because you are afraid of rejection. Snap out of it. Girls only call guys when they are desperate.

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-03-18T13:02:28+00:00

Numbers are bullshit most of the time. Whenever I get a number I rarely feel anything about it because most girls just flake or never reply to the first text. Focus on having a solid first interaction and setting up a date, then get the number.

joshsway · 2014-03-18T15:16:15+00:00

Bad strategy in general. Online, you can give your number as a way to get hers, but you should never leave things in the girls' hand, they rarely act even if they are interested.

2014-03-18T16:37:42+00:00

I do this too. This is a purely practical choice for me. I often do not carry my cell phone on me. I will tell a girl to text me. This works well for me. True, the girl was already interested, because the real work was done in meeting her. The texting is just for setting up logistics.

meanTruth4U · 2014-03-20T11:12:06+00:00

I experimented with this one night when I lived in LA. I had a "good night" and gave out my number to 12 diff girls probably. I watched them all save it in their phones.

I got 0 texts and correspondence. Does not work. Why would girls chase you when there are tons of guys that are chasing them?

2014-03-21T13:12:01+00:00

Fuck that, man. I want to be in control of when the next interaction happens. Waiting for someone to call you sucks, better her than me.

Apex_of_Attraction · 2014-03-18T19:14:43+00:00

Hey Lazybusbum,

Getting her to follow up is not the most effective strategy. You don't want to take the pressure off. You want to build enough attraction that familiarity that she wants to see you again.

A strong masculine quality is going after what you want and being a successful risk-taker. Don't place the responsability of that onto the girl.

If it works, keep doing it. By getting their number they should never be bad leads. I have about 90% response from numbers I get because I make sure everything else is aligned before asking. Worst case scenario you text to organize something and she doesn't text back. Nothing wasted. To prevent this be specific about why you want the number and set up the specifics of the day and time of the date before you go. Get her to agree and make sure she is as EXCITED to give you her number as you are to get it.

Darragh, Apex of Attraction http://apexofattraction.weebly.com/

Title	Giving number versus asking
Author	lazybusbum
Upvotes	13
Comments	13
Date	March 18, 2014 8:18 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/20pdbs/giving_number_versus_asking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/giving-number-versus-asking.1367732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367732

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