seddit, I'm in need of some encouragement. I've been reading and studying a lot on inner game. It's really boosted my morale and outlook. Here's the situation...

I dated this girl for 6ish years (all of high school and 2 or so years after). She was my first (and really my only) love. I was certainly a dick to her after a while and didn't realize that I actually loved her. We broke up/got back together several times. I caught her cheating (she denies it to this day but I'm quite sure it happened) so I ended things and moved away. I was more angry than hurt at the time.

After I moved away, I started to realize that I actually loved her. We started talking periodically and she ended up leading me on for two or three years while dating other guys. One time I drove two hours to see her (we'd planned on meeting up) and she wouldn't even answer my calls when I got there. That should have been enough for me... but apparently it wasn't.

Apparently 2 hours wasn't far enough away from her... so I moved 3.5-4 hours away from her. It seemed like things started getting better. I was thinking about her less, meeting new girls, dating new girls, etc... Then last year, out of the blue, she starts texting me.

While I'm in town visiting family, we get together for a chat. Turns out she's getting married, having second thoughts about "us", and doesn't want to marry the guy. This was literally ONE DAY before she was planning to leave for her wedding. I tried my best to stay unbiased and encourage her to do what was right for her (despite the fact that I'd have given anything to have her back). She ended up getting married and I ended up almost getting alcohol poisoning lol.

Fast-forward a year. A couple of months ago she starts emailing me. Apparently she's already divorced. While I'm in town visiting family (once again) we get together to see a movie and hang out. The night couldn't have gone better. It was just like old times. The spark/feelings were obviously still there for both of us.

After that meeting... she became distant again. Barely talking via text, facebook, phone, etc... I decided to play it cool and let her just come to me. She didn't. Like an idiot I sent her a long ass facebook message telling her that we both obviously still have feelings for each other and asking her what's holding her back. She gives me some bs excuse about the distance etc... I would gladly move back home for this girl. She knows that.

Anyway, now her facebook profile says she's in a relationship with some dude and that she's happier than she's ever been. I know that "one-itis" is terrible, shitty, and a bad place to be but I just can't seem to get over it. Meeting other women hasn't helped. Getting away from her hasn't helped. Cutting off communication hasn't helped. What can I do? I just want this chapter of my life to come to a close already. Any help/advice/encouragement would be greatly appreciated guys. I'm really heading for a bad downward spiral here.

tl;dr: I'm a fucking idiot with one-itis and can't get over it (after 5ish years). I honestly don't know if it's the "one-itis" or the fact that I want something that I can't have that's upsetting me the most.