Going to a bar on your own?

DIme_x · 2019-10-03T08:09:58+00:00

I went to bars and clubs for years in my 20’s and 30’s. Even now when I go out with people I’m all over the place and leave them. Can’t stay still for too long... people get boring with their convo if it isn’t going anywhere or no one is taking conversational risks. Anyways... what I generally do:

The drinks bar. It’s your best bet if you want to be able to “approach” women without having to actually approach them. I actually do this 2 ways. I sit at the crowded ass bar and wait for some female to come and try to order around me. Since it’s a crowded bar this WILL happen. From there I usually go with something spur of the moment about their drink/them touching me/ the state of politics in this day and age (not really FFS don’t talk about politics) or whatever. I don’t get desperate or outcome dependent with these people. I’m just trying to have some fun while a chick is next to me. Conversely, if I’m not already sitting at a crowded bar because all the seats are taken (this is key) then I look at the bar. Find a cute approachable chick (usually by themselves and looking bored while waiting for a drink, usually no hotter than an 8 though I like to approach 5-7’s the most) then I just squeeze in, sometimes I ask, sometimes I don’t. Once squeezed in I’ll just turn my head, smile and make an observation “jeez this bar is crowded” is usually a good neutral go. Sometimes the girl will be all like “OH MY GOD I KNOW! ITS CRAZY” and then you are already in there. And sometimes she will just look at you and not reply or she will act like she didn’t hear you. Doesn’t matter. I just keep doing this till something sticks with someone. This is “good game” because the approach is one of the things that can go horribly wrong in any interaction, but here your approach is done for you. Also, and this is the biggest reason why, when you open over your shoulder like I said, YOU ARE ALREADY IN COUPLE FORMATION. You aren’t behind her which is creepy, nor are you in front of her which is aggressive, nor are you at PUA 45 degree angle which is hard to maintain. You are in there side to side like a couple that has known each other for years. This doesn’t make it any more likely to open, but what it does do is make it more likely to naturally hook and it also makes it likely that even if you get “rejected”it does Not feel like rejection since you didn’t cross an ocean of people for the express purpose of hitting on some chick that is out of your way. If you get a no answer or some one word answers, literally all you have to do is stay there and turn your back to the chick and it’s like she’s not there. Now you just game the other side. Oh and about that, talk to dudes the same way. They open way easier and give you some small social proof. Easy to start topics are the chicks or lack therof at the bar, the drinks you are getting, why they are out that night etc etc etc

Ok so... in the actual club or bar walking around. Talk to the dudes first. Find some losers if you have to. I mean even dudes sitting there wallflowering it up with no homies. Make them your homie for the night and touch base back with them as the night goes on. So do they lower your value? YES. Does it matter? Sometimes, but mostly when you have no game or you are having an off night. But they get you into a chatty mood, can allow you to look good to the 4/5’s in the club, then you can bounce from the 5’s to the 6 and 7’s. I can do all this in literally 10-15 minutes: walk up to poor loser, comment on his game/rockband t shirt, get him laughing or interested, scan for the 5’s noticing, see the 5, approach with witty opener, get the 5 talking. Scan, see the 7 looking, approach in a variety of ways that send the “cool social guy” vibe. Always try to approach and get into a natural “couple pose with your shoulder touching or close to hers like how couples and friends walk down the street. This way you can talk over the shoulder and give off a more rapport based and close feeling.

That’s my basic stuff. Add in getting kicked out because I drank too much. Into fights because I drank too much, drinks thrown on me because I drank too much and negged too hard, getting my dick sucked in the bathroom because I did everything right.... etc etc. it’s all fun, have fun with it! It’s only one night. Just going out thinking “I’m just out to have fun” works wonders. Sometimes I do this with the boys and I stil, end up hooking up just because when the boys are hooting and hollering, the girls will notice your good time and want to be included. But for a rookie, just get your sittin at the bar game, down first, and also... NEVER approach a female from behind unless you know her. And try not to from the front either. And also don’t cut her off from an avenue to escape from you.... this puts girls on edge even if they are interested in you because it makes them claustrophobic.

Good luck.

Dudz_k · 2019-10-03T16:45:10+00:00

Hey man. Main rule about going to bars and clubs is to enjoy yourself. I’m the same as you sometimes I go with friends, but there’s been times when everyone’s busy and I fancy a night out so I go myself. Which if I’m honest I sometimes prefer I mean the only person I have to look out for is myself and I can go talk to whoever without my friends watching my every move lol. I usually start off in a pub first and all I’ll do is grab a drink, find a table with 2-3 guys and a spare chair and ask is it ok if I can join. Most times guys will see a fellow bro on his own and welcome him in haha.

Then I just ask them questions about the area and where I should head for a good night, most of the time people are more than happy to point you in the right direction and will sometimes even say ‘oh we’re going such and such you should come with us’ So boom you’ve just made some new buddies and two which is also rather important is that people around you will see you talking to people and think hey that guy knows people. After a few more drinks I then head out to one of the clubs that was normally recommended. I’ll normally ask a few more people on the way to see if most people agree with said place.

Once in the club just grab a drink maybe talk to a few girls while your waiting to be served and then head to the dance floor. When dancing you’ll eventually have girls dancing near and some will even get into your personal space. If you find them attractive then go up close so they can hear you over the music and ask if they have a BF if she says no then go in for the kiss. Doesn’t always work but had more success than failure so far lol. If they kiss you, you can just stay and dance with them and even get their number once you both go for drinks. If not then, just smile and move on.

BTW you’ll meet a lot of good positive people willing to socialise with you, but you will also get people who will come over and try to put you down because for them they can’t comprehend that some people like to do things independently and don’t need others around in order to enjoy themselves. These people often try to highlight that your on your own, just laugh and say you’ve lost your friends or so, they don’t know you and why do they even care lol? So yeah try to ignore negative people like that and continue enjoying yourself!

Also don’t drive, get a taxi. That way you can just relax, drink and have fun.

tresdiasytresnoches · 2019-10-03T06:38:52+00:00

I go to bars by myself all the time. That is when I’ve met the most people.

Try to pick a bar or two and become a regular. You will eventually make connections with the bartenders and the regulars and also become more comfortable with being there by yourself.

In my personal experience, people start getting chatty past 10 pm when they had their drinks in. I chose bars with common activities like sport events or karaoke. Not that you would have to sing, but it is a good conversation starter.

If you see someone you like, don’t stare too long. It’s weird. Offer to buy a drink. I don’t like people buying me drinks but that’s just me. Most girls like it.

Don’t worry about it too much. You will be ok.

Trumppbuh · 2019-10-03T12:13:27+00:00

How do you go to a bar/club alone if you don't drink? (I can't drink because of medications)

sweetLovelygod · 2019-10-03T10:08:31+00:00

miserable drunk

Title	Going to a bar on your own?
Author	SupremeFR
Upvotes	7
Comments	6
Date	October 3, 2019 4:55 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dcm7sw/going_to_a_bar_on_your_own/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/going-to-a-bar-on-your-own.1480244 https://theredarchive.com/post/1480244

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