Has anyone here changed their attitude and personality and formed a relationship with someone who previously rejected them?

ggGideon · 2016-09-27T18:29:07+00:00

Do your best to forget about the girl that rejected you and move on. Don't change for her, change to be the person you want to be. She won't come crawling in your lap once you get in shape or whatever and even if she does, that's probably not a girl you want in your life.

Woujo · 2016-09-27T18:33:57+00:00

Yes, it has happened.

Should you try it? No, you need to move on. The chance that you're going to change yourself SO MUCH that she starts to like you is almost 0. Remember, she already rejected you once, what are the chances she will like you in the future? You would have to become an almost completely different person, and that could take years. And even if you did change a lot, she will still remember you as the loser she rejected. A lot of celebrities continue to be treated like shit by the people they grew up with because those people still consider them "Dave the loser" not "Dave Chappelle the famous comedian."

But more importantly, for your own mental health you need to move on. Thinking about the one that got away is very bad for your emotions and thoughts. It will continue to fuck with your self esteem and it will cause you to grow an unhealthy attachment to somebody who rejected you. You need to cut the person out cold turkey, and by cold turkey I mean that you need to move on so decisively that you wouldn't take them back even if they did come crawling back.

Troglodytarum_Facies · 2016-09-27T19:01:45+00:00

Yeah I've hooked up with plenty of girls from my past who weren't interested back then. It can be satisfying. Usually it's not everything you've built it up to be though. But it's sort of surreal when you realize roles have reversed and you're now a catch for them.

ep1939 · 2016-09-27T18:35:51+00:00

People are extremely hard to change their mind.

Ever happened to you that you thought somebody was, e.g., a jerk and you would interpret any of his odd behaviour as being a jerk?

Ever happened to you that somebody told you a girl was easy and you interpreted her behaviour as being easy (e.g. smiling to people, touching somebody's shoulder, ecc).

Ever happened to you somebody told you a person was a pervert and then you would intepret any of his behaviour as to pointing out he's a pervert (like going through a park and looking at some kids playing football)?

People do change opinions but if somebody thinks you are needy, e.g., any little sign of anything that could be (even wrongly) assumed as a sign of neediness will reinforce that idea.

Highlyactivewalrus · 2016-09-27T22:43:50+00:00

I think some of the comments here are laying it on thick with the anti-neediness rhetoric, which is true in part, you don't want to come off looking needy, ideally it's someone you see rather often and just keep being yourself and her idea of you will change over time, but again, devoting too much time to the whole plan in itself is expending a lot of effort on your part, which is needy, for a lower chance at reward than if you tried to chat up a girl you've never met before, and thus, doesn't know anything but what you are now.

Tl;dr yeah it might happen but your energy is best used elsewhere

Fapowar · 2016-09-29T10:19:17+00:00

Definitely can happen, but my advice is very simple:

Focus on the things you CAN change.

ObsidianOne · 2016-10-10T13:18:50+00:00

Not sure if this is the context you're asking about, but I'll share my story.

Not long after I turned 21, I, like most people who are legal to go to bars didn't have much control, just drank and got hammered a lot.
There was a girl that was hanging out with a friend of mine so I started laying it on thick, I don't remember most of it, but it was just bad game and I think she was only keeping me around because I was buying her drinks.
Next day I find out she has a fiancé in the Army, I feel like shit (despite her not telling me this), and I even apologized to her the next night. She was kinda shitty about it, but accepted my apology. She later told the female friend she was with the night before that I was a creeper.

Fast forward 4 years, she had moved away and moved back, separated and getting divorced from her husband, she starts working at the same place I work at, and I'm a supervisor. Fuck. Does she remember me? Of course she does. Hope she doesn't get weird and try to make an HR issue out of some bullshit because I have to interact with her. End up seeing her at a bar, she's buzzing and says 'I remember you', we talked about what happened, and she was already over it, so we chatted, it was cool, life moved on.
Couple weeks later, she starts flirting with me and telling me to take her home, multiple nights, running shit tests on me by saying she'll go home with the bartender if I don't, told her to pound sand and have fun and she gave the poor bastard a fake number and I found out later. Anyways, ended up smashing multiple times till she got the feels. Asked her what changed and she said thinks it was my hair. My hair was longer back then and she said it made me look too young and boyish, and that the short mohawk that I had at the time made me look older.

Title	Has anyone here changed their attitude and personality and formed a relationship with someone who previously rejected them?
Author	ThetamingoftheMew
Upvotes	15
Comments	8
Date	September 27, 2016 5:38 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/54rrgr/has_anyone_here_changed_their_attitude_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/has-anyone-here-changed-their-attitude-and.1413090 https://theredarchive.com/post/1413090

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