Hey fellow Sedditors, I’m curious to think about what you’d make of my situation.

I’m a guy with a serious gf in a nonmonogamous relationship. Mostly on my end, but I enjoy watching her with other dudes sometimes too. We had recently been talking about trying a more polyamorous style of relationship. We have a close female friend who is very pretty, but quite sexually inhibited in many ways (doesn’t masturbate on her own, watch porn, or have casual sex). However, she has a wild side that she enjoys letting out (gradually) with us. We have interacted in somewhat sexual ways before. For example, my partner and I hosted a party where we ate sushi off of a naked girl. Our friend ended up watching (and masturbating to) me, my partner, and our sushi-covered friend have a threesome. I should add that I really enjoy her company and she’s fast on her way to becoming one of my best friends, regardless of what happens.

Fast forward to this past weekend. We took her to a sex expo. I ended up buying a lap dance from a male stripper, and, once onstage, got really into it and took my shirt off too, to much encouragement from onlookers (especially my gf and friend). The girls then talked to their manager. Long story short, I now have a part-time stripping gig, which I accepted with a lot of encouragement from the girls.

Afterwards, we went to a sex club. This was a place where I DHV’d like a motherfucker. Being on the younger end and very attractive and muscular, I get treated like a prince here. Lots of staff know and like me and my partner, and I can pretty much have any woman I want. I gave my gf and our friend lap dances. I could tell the friend was very turned on. She asked if it would be okay with my gf if she kissed me, and told me that she would like to go further but isn’t ready yet, and that it would be easier if we weren’t such good friends. I told her that I would like that, and I would like to go further too, but don’t want to pressure her to do anything she is not comfortable with. We made out passionately a lot that night, but I could tell she had some reservations about my partner’s comfort.

This week, the shitstorm hit. My partner told me she is not comfortable with me having a side relationship at this time. In truth, I have been unhappy with aspects of my relationship for a few months, unrelated to our nonmono practices. We had a challenging fight, that is only now starting to resolve. We concluded that this attempt at a second relationship is a symptom of an underlying problem, and isn’t a positive thing now, but may be in the future. We both talked to our friend as well, about the fight and about where we stand with her. She confirmed that I am a very fuckable friend who she’d like to hook up with at some point (when she is more comfortable regarding her sexual inhibitions), but not someone she sees as relationship material.

Now I know how women feel about being seen as sex toys hahaha. I am still interested in the possibility of trying a poly relationship at some point in the future (not necessarily with said friend), after things are more stable with my main partner (and that’s what I intend to focus on for the time being). I do like this friend a lot, but I think I came off as the “hot but slutty friend you want to bang but not date”. This is probably not helped by my new side job.

So what would you folks do from here? Is the long game worth it? Should I just forget about the whole thing and enjoy boning tons of people as a professional manwhore?