Preface: I attract women in a different way than many people on this Subreddit do. I’m a lot more introverted in nature, and rarely cold approach or play numbers games. I do a majority of social circle game, occasionally supplemented by online dating. I went from being insecure about my limited sexual experience to being able to have the sex life I want, so it seems to work for me.

Anyway, I’ve had a very different experience with asking for numbers vs giving them, than a lot of the opinions I’ve read online. A lot of people seem to think of it as a weak move. It’s a weak move in bars, but in that kind of scene, the only time exchanging numbers isn’t a weak move is after you’ve already had sex, IMO.

In pretty much any environment where you’re meeting sober women (ie she will remember you, which is always a better situation for everyone), I’ve found that giving out my number can be a pretty big power move, if you’re confident enough that she’s attracted to you. Let’s be honest, the timeframe in which she decides whether she finds you fuckable or not probably isn’t as much longer than our own as we’d like to think. If you haven’t sparked some degree of attraction by the time you exchange numbers, it doesn’t matter how charming your opening text is, you’re just wasting your time.

Giving your number out, as long as its done confidently, saves you from wasting time texting people being “polite” by weeding out those who aren’t actually interested. It also sets a precedent for flipping the pursuer-pursued dynamic, in making her take the initiative to contact you if she’s interested. This seems to create a bit of a Ben Franklin effect: a man who chases women is seen as creepy, a man who is pursued by women is seen as attractive.

I also tend to adopt a very similar approach to sex, but that’s another story.