Help on getting over inner sexual tension

jimii · 2012-04-19T14:03:23+00:00

Outcome independence. Don't be attached to the outcome of trying to get one girl. That will fuck almost anyone's behaviour up and they'll start acting needy and start making bad decisions. There will always be another girl.

Just try to relax and enjoy the moment, don't over think what you're saying/doing and just let go and HAVE FUN. And remember that no single interaction defines your worth as a person.

Don't be too hard on yourself if you can't do this straight away. It'll take time.

At the same time, in your life in general, try to pursue something that you're really passionate about and better yourself as a person as much as you can (Identify areas you feel you really need to improve and work on them first.). Do it for your own betterment and enjoyment of life, not to impress others. Then you should start to gain real confidence.

sedditor1 · 2012-04-19T10:50:44+00:00

Don't be creepy, be alpha. Look them in the eyes with a smirk when something sexual comes up (rather, keep looking them in the eyes, because you should already have eye contact). They will take you a lot more seriously. You should always have the mindset that you are the prize, and you have to find out if this girl is good enough for you (and how can you be sure she is until she's made your dick feel good?)

First things first, you need to start maintaining better eye contact, in ALL interactions with people. Then it sounds like you need to learn how to flirt better, so you don't come off creepy. Work on a sexy smirk/smile.

breadrising · 2012-04-19T12:57:09+00:00

This all stems from confidence. You're obviously anxious/nervous around single ladies (hey, everyone is), but instead of preparing to deal with it, you let the tension get to you. Once they reveal they have a BF, there's a wave of relief when you realize you don't need to step out of your comfort zone; there's no one watching or judging. You said that you can finally just be yourself, once you know there's no pressure of screwing up.

That is the feeling you need to carry over to the single girls; true confidence is being yourself no matter who you're talking to and no matter what their social/relational status is. In the end, if they don't like you or reject you, that sucks to be them; they're missing out.

There's no secret to gaining confidence. Overall, it takes practice. You just need to keep going out, keep talking with people, keep getting into conversations, keep making new friends, keep exchanging numbers with people. Any time someone invites you to something, say you'll be there. Any time you're out and people are asking "Should we head out soon?" Say no, and order another round. Just keep being out in the world and eventually, you'll become a little more comfortable in your own skin.

InTheClouds2072 · 2012-04-20T03:39:40+00:00

Thanks for the advice guys. I'll be sure to make better eye contact and to just practice more. I'll also try to just have fun in the end. Thanks again.

SethMemVegas · 2012-04-20T04:52:00+00:00

InTheClouds, man can I just say how relieved I am that you are this honest, because I am going through the exact same thing. I can't stop thinking about this one girl, my dream girl. We had a date, and it's getting to the point now where I am teetering on friendzone level because I am, also, crippled by anxiety that I feel towards her. I'm like "man, this girl is 5 years my elder, hottest girl i've ever seen, and we are having sexual texts to one another, how is this possible?

I feel as though every time I do not talk to her, that I am losing my chance. She is consistently the same, whereas me, have been getting distant from her and therefore beat myself into a mini-depression. Any one else experienced this? I know it's related to outcome dependence, but I have worked to long and hard on myself to not get this girl. Gym everyday for 3 months, got her phone number only after a year I decided I liked her (were coworkers), then the next week sucked it up and asked her to a date which was wonderful. Now I am stuck and not sure where to go.

In regards to "how i'm pissing away this moment" fuck I feel you on that. Women are driving me batshit.

Title	Help on getting over inner sexual tension
Author	InTheClouds2072
Upvotes	6
Comments	7
Date	April 19, 2012 8:37 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/shkdb/help_on_getting_over_inner_sexual_tension/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-on-getting-over-inner-sexual-tension.1331545 https://theredarchive.com/post/1331545

Comments