How do I send a good first message?

dank_jebus · 2015-07-26T00:12:12+00:00

Your opener is both too long and too vague. Pick one specific thing to say and that's it. Honestly, less is more! Try just using an emoji and I bet it gets more responses than your current go to opener.

Hazdingo · 2015-07-26T00:50:42+00:00

Girls get literally hundreds of messages. What you want in a first message is something to catch their attention. You don't need to qualify yourself as someone they should message back because of x, y, or z. It should just be something to make your message stand out of the crowd. Try to find a funny line that doesn't sound super "gamey" but still will make her chuckle and think you're a fun dude.

omziraal · 2015-07-26T02:35:26+00:00

Your opener is boring, and comes off as really formal, like a poor resume or something. What I do is usually say something like "Sarah!" or whatever the girls name is, and that's if I'm familiar with them / on Tinder / haven't seen them in a while.

CPU8U · 2015-07-26T02:03:01+00:00

I told a girl I was dating that I LOVE DOGS and if it was okay to bring him on the first date. She also liked dogs and Loled and said I LOVE DOGS TOO

secreterections · 2015-07-26T03:33:55+00:00

Here are some examples from my tinder that all got responses:

Girl with a picture of her on her knees rowing on a surfboard: "Wow, that is an unorthodox surfing stance"

Girl with 2 pictures of her at the beach, and in front of a marina: "You put the ocean in all of your pics!"

Girl with a really nice body in jeans and a white t-shirt: "Well, you've mastered at least one life competency: making a white t-shirt look really good."

Girl who put in her bio that she works in advertising and that it's like mad men but she is not Don Draper: "So are you more Roger Sterling?" (btw Roger Sterling is a great study for this stuff)

Girl who mentioned about getting a degree from Sarah Lawrence (which doesn't actually grant degrees per se): "A "degree" from Sarah Lawrence"

Random girl who was a bit older: "So what is your policy vis-a-vis making out with pretty attractive dudes"

Basically if you discern any patterns it's that there's exactly 0 introduction and it's all literally just jumping head first into a conversation. Also, there's very few questions but a lot of references with a focus on a reference to their pics and something they obviously posted about themselves.

My rationale is that you give them something that they can clearly reference, something that is about themselves, and something that non-committally elicits a response.

These are not dynamite/kryptonite/secret sauce these are all conversational pieces that invite commentary. Not all my messages land a response, but I've got a decent enough rate that I can get a conversation going where the biographical information flows naturally.

The last month+ I've had around 3-4 dates per week which has gotten to be too much. Which I've found to be unsustainable. Some of the girls were among the cutest I've ever met up with, some not.

My two cents, take what you will.

EndOfTheUniverse · 2015-07-26T18:24:33+00:00

What is the context?

Text after approaching them IRL?

Tinder?

Online Dating?

MrLadyfingers · 2015-07-26T04:55:49+00:00

Just think of the first thing that comes to mind, 90% of the messages girls get always have Hello or what's up or something boring in it, and don't start out with a compliment, that's the other 5% . Be as unique as possible to differentiate yourself from all the other guys.

Title	How do I send a good first message?
Author	LoveHelp01
Upvotes	19
Comments	7
Date	July 25, 2015 11:53 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3elyor/how_do_i_send_a_good_first_message/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-send-a-good-first-message.1391562 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391562

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