How do I stop going on autopilot when things get physical?

HomelessMilkman · 2025-09-26T11:54:31+00:00

The main issue with struggling to be 'present' in all cases is not wanting to be. You're naturally 'present' until there's something you want to disassociate from.

I can't give you specifics, of course because it's unique to what's happening within you. Though, there is some sensation, emotional, physical, whatever, you don't like and try to disconnect from. You disassociate from it, you don't have to experience it but it is some type of 'denial' of the moment, it is spending your time mentally instead of engaging with what's happening.

The solution is obviously to remain focused. Though, you're fighting this autopilot response to resist what you don't like; which everyone does. I'd recommend "consciously connected breathing"; I'm sure you can find a guide if you google it but essentially it's about eliminating the 'space' between your exhale and inhale because that's where the unconscious reaction occurs. If you focus on what's happening 'now', you're present; when you stop breathing continuously, you start thinking in that 'gap'.

It's not a quick fix, it's going to be more uncomfortable. You're reconnecting to the thing you want to avoid, but by doing so without resistance, you can overcome it and move on permanently. You either try to live with it or you confront it.

As an aside, you can use it to address this specific issue, but it's a good habit to be in regardless. It's self-esteem, it's not having to disassociate from whatever is happening. Some things should make you uncomfortable, and you should be aware of that. You shouldn't be eating reeses pieces or drinking monster energy and think "this tastes good" but we're going off topic.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-09-26T22:41:05+00:00

It may take more reps with the same person. Many people find that the first few times with a new partner may not be home runs because you're still mostly strangers and there's no real emotional bond yet. It generally improves with time as you both grow more comfortable, relaxed and learn each other's nuances.

Title	How do I stop going on autopilot when things get physical?
Author	DarkFite
Upvotes	4
Comments	2
Date	September 26, 2025 7:24 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nquwzm/how_do_i_stop_going_on_autopilot_when_things_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-going-on-autopilot-when-things-get.1562839 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562839

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