How do I work on these social skills

Economou · 2019-08-11T19:01:40+00:00

Self-esteem: Put the real you in front of people. Your jokes. Your normal speech. Your personality. You’ll see that in a short period of time, as people accept you for you, you’ll build natural internal self-confidence. (Books to read: Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, The Power of Now, The Confidence Gap)
Charisma is one part self-esteem and confidence, with an interest in the people you’re interacting with. Here’s an image I like to paint for people. Imagine there’s a stage with lights and a microphone. Now put the person you’re talking to on the mic. They’re the headliner - not you. Try to learn and listen about them as people no matter who they are. Don’t cherry pick the people you put on that stage. That is, don’t only put super hot girls up there. Every one you interact with should be on that stage. Your ego will try to seize stage time like a jealous understudy. Don’t let it. Often people are shy about being on that stage, use humor to disarm them. (Books: Conversation books by Patrick King).
Not giving a fuck is ridiculous. Give a fuck about self-improvement. Give a fuck about important things - not the minute. (books: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck)

smoothmax · 2019-08-11T18:30:02+00:00

Ok assuming you meant 1,2,3

1) Read "The Six Pillars of Self Esteem". A classic.

2) For now, whenever you feel tongue tied, just smile and feel the silence in your body. Accept it and embrace it. One of the very first steps I took to improve my game was with this one(itis) girl I always talk to, I stopped trying to constantly chatter and ask her questions. Silence does not faze me one little bit now.

If you want to be more spontaneous and witty, here is how. Whenever you feel like you were stymied or said something dumb, later on write a note to yourself. Write down what she said, what you said, what her body language indicated, and how you felt about the interaction. Then, write down 1,2 or 3 things you could have said or done better. Lots of PUA coaches say that they did this consistently for a long time before they became the awesome, witty, unflappable guy that they are now. I do it and I highly recommend it.

3) Besides reading (1) the easy solution is to read "The Rational Male" and follow his advice. In a nutshell, you should be talking to, texting, flirting with, dating and sleeping with as many girls as possible. Simultaneously or in parallel. Not serially. It makes you less obsessed with any one girl, so you don't give a fuck if you screw up. And it makes girls a lot more attracted to you.

Newusername11235815 · 2019-08-11T22:13:11+00:00

Make a point of trying to make small talk when you’re in public, for example at a store checkout, on public transportation, etc. You could comment on the weather or things like that. Will you make lots of friends that way? Probably not. But will you be less awkward in social settings? Yes. Will you see improvement in the social skills you want to improve? Yes.

Title	How do I work on these social skills
Author	thatboythough
Upvotes	56
Comments	7
Date	August 11, 2019 5:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cozsne/how_do_i_work_on_these_social_skills/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-work-on-these-social-skills.1475843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1475843

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