how do you approach

CiaranCallamCoach · 2022-05-31T15:26:13+00:00

The basics

I'm a strong believer that you can successfully open with anything in a bar or a nightclub, as long as your vibe is good.

However, I think daygame needs a little more structure, as the intent of your approach is less obvious during the day.

Either way, you'll find it way easier to approach if you're given a clear guide of what to say and what to do. That's why Mystery Method was so popular back in the day.

Here's a three-step guide that I was given on my first daygame coaching session five years ago. It has served me well to this day.

Step 1 - Statement of empathy + statement of intent

For example: "Excuse me, this might seem a bit out of nowhere, but I noticed you looked great, so I wanted to say hi."

Step 2 - Assumptions

A great way to peak her interest and invite her to invest in the conversation. It's certainly better than the "interview mode" that most losers resort to. I like to make assumptions based on her appearance, and exaggerate for humour.

"You're looking incredibly sporty today. I figured you're some sort of professional athlete."

Step 3 - Provide value

You now want to hook her into the conversation which you’ll do by demonstrating high value & having an emotionally charged interaction.

You demonstrate value by casually referring to things which will raise your value in her eyes. But, this has to be done in an organic way that doesn’t seem like you’re bragging.

As for the conversation itself, she should be feeling strong emotions throughout. That is your goal. Not to have a pleasant interaction but to impact her day.

Keep her laughing, make her curious, intrigued, aroused, excited and more. Keep the vibe fun. Do not fall into a 2+2=4 conversation with her.

Logic is the enemy of female attraction.

Step 4 - Instant date The longer you spend with her the better. This is because the more a girl gets to know you the more comfortable she will feel around you and therefore the more likely she will be to respond to your messages when you hit her up. So this means that in an ideal world your goal is not to get her details as quickly as possible and then run away. Ideally, what you want to do is spend as much time with her as possible and you would do this by taking her on an instant date.

All you need to do is this, ask her what she’s doing right now, and then provided she isn’t doing anything important you will say come on let’s go get a cup of coffee. And it is really that simple, make sure that you do not phrase it as a question that you’re unsure about, make it seem more like a given, like something that she is absolutely going to want to do it’s a foregone conclusion. And you will find that more often than not girls will say yes and I will come with you for the coffee (or whatever you invite her to do).

Now if she isn’t able to go on the instant date for whatever reason then you will close for her details.

Step 5 - Close

Grab her social media details or phone number, with the intention of meeting up for a date. Make sure she knows that’s exactly why you’re swapping details. Also, do not ask for her details at the end of the interaction. Make sure you do it midway through so it feels natural and organic. As with the instant date, phrase it as something you expect her to do rather than something you’re scared she won’t. You’re swapping details, and it’s no big deal.

Body language tips

THESE ARE ARGUABLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE WORDS THAT COME OUT YOUR MOUTH.

Square up. Stand in front of her, not side on. Smile and eye contact. Easier said than done for a lot of guys. Be loud enough so she can hear. A lot of guys quieten their voices so that bystanders don't hear. But this only serves to communicate that you're embarrassed or ashamed of what you're doing. Not good. Be loud and proud. Tonality. Hard to explain in words, but your tonality should suggest "this is happening and it's going to be awesome" rather than "may I have permission to speak". Keep talking after you open. You should be prepared to contribute at least 90% of the conversation until she relaxes and realises you're cool. This can happen instantly, but often takes a couple of minutes.

Resources

Approaching groups https://youtu.be/f96JAMR8lig

How to never run out of things to say when approaching girls https://youtu.be/TZGDPpPrE4E

What girls think of approach anxiety https://youtu.be/KE9ZP1akWa0

kiramdahanett · 2022-05-31T04:31:22+00:00

How do you guys approach women at the mall.

malls aren't best option for beginners due to lack of proper volume & more tension compared to busy streets & busy metro stations .

approach is always the same everywhere.

"hi , i'm X i thought you're cute had to say hi" then deregulate , by saying whatever the fuck you want . plan is to try to instadate a girl using anything U can/have because the biggest chance to fuck a girl via daygame is the same day you meet her.

again , after delivering the opener i gave you , just say whatever the hell you want.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-05-31T10:53:39+00:00

First of all, don't be THAT GUY and get kicked out of or labeled by mall security as the guy who goes there to harass women. If you go to the mall do it with a purpose, such as shopping for something or hanging out in the food court to eat or whether. But please don't go there for the express purpose of stalking girls.

Ok, now that we have this out of the way. If a girl smiles at you or lingers her eye gaze, nod and smile. See what her reaction is. If she smiles wider, or looks down but then looks at you again, take that as an invitation to go over. You can say something like "Hey, I don't want to be that guy who is hitting on girls in the mall.....but I'm totally that guy. Hi, I'm Bob". Of course, at this line the girl will either laugh and think you are funny OR will say "um go away creep", which is an indication that you may have misread her signals completely.

Alternatively you can say stuff like "Hey, do we know each other?" Or "do you know who you remind me of? (She says no) Of someone I should meet" or whatever other cheesy but funny pickup line you want to use.

Pain_Tough · 2022-05-31T15:16:46+00:00

You might consider ballroom dancing, it’s like 30 women to 3 men, it’s so easy, I wouldn’t waste my time with the cold approach.

Electric_kundalini · 2022-05-31T15:38:37+00:00

Coffee shops are a good place because people are relaxed and minding their own business.

yiggaman · 2022-05-31T23:04:59+00:00

Just say hi, what's your name? And if she asks for your name back then you are in there. If not then it's a big chance you will get rejected.

Title	how do you approach
Author	AerieOk1550
Upvotes	0
Comments	9
Date	May 31, 2022 4:22 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v1hzka/how_do_you_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-approach.1258274 https://theredarchive.com/post/1258274

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