I lost touch with people from high school despite staying on my hometown in New York and haven’t recovered since due too depression, being too online and becoming jaded after feeling like I was always underappreciated. Now I’m at an age where I feel desperate (or like a “dickrider” as we say here) for even trying to befriend someone cool who probably already has a tight circle that they’re satisfied with. They’re also likely not o be put off by the fact that I have no other friends.

And I’m going to be honest, I’m not interested in hanging out with other “losers” - the people I identify with most are so-called “high value” men who I’m also likely to feel envious of and competitive with like a catty woman. I lack that natural masculinity humility that even “alpha males” have and that’s part of the reason why I’ve avoided people