How do you do pick up when you are alone?

StarwarsITALY · 2019-06-07T23:26:31+00:00

It’s not as harsh as you think it is out there. :)

Other people don’t logically compare your life resume to see if you’re worth interacting with, all they care about is “do I feel good emotions around this person?” and “do they bring value or are they looking to take value?”

Value can be making people laugh, smile, cheering them up, complimenting them, helping them with something, helping them relax, etc.

You’re not shooting for banging 10s on day 1 here, you’re more at the “I like your outfit!” And “excuse me do you know where Blah Bar is? What do you think of it? Cool, where are you guys headed tonight?” level of basically handing out compliments and making small-talk.

Sure, it doesn’t offer MUCH value, it’s just shooting the shit. So how can we make it seem like more value?

1) be in a venue where EVERYONE feels nervous and anxious (aka a nightclub)

And 2) choose people who seem to have low-value lol

Where do we find this combo? Go to a nightclub and look around, usually along the bars or beside the dance floor. You’ll see a bunch of guys standing around holding a drink not talking, just staring at the girls. They’ll often be solo or in small groups and they look like they’re thinking about talking to girls but they just stand there, occasionally talking to their buddy if they have one. They’ll do this the majority of the night.

These guys are on Death Row. The club environment has overwhelmed them and they’re shell-shocked. They want to socialize but they’re scared as fuck, the same way you are.

So how can you offer these guys value? Right now they’re nervous and scared to approach or talk to strangers…so you can offer value by chatting them up. That makes them go “oh thank god someone is talking to me!!” and you’ll relieve that tension/fear they have because you’re taking the initiative and letting them know hey, it’s cool to talk to people. They’ll be friendly because you’re rescuing them from the shell-shocked state they were in so they’re GRATEFUL that you started a conversation.

These guys aren’t going to be rockstar player badasses with tons of friends and lots going for them, but they’re also not always losers, often they’re nice/friendly guys who are just shy with socializing and just froze up and are in panic mode and waiting till they get drunker and can relax in that environment.

So the value you’re offering is helping them get more social/talkative, which, in a nightclub enviro full of hotties, is HUGE value because if you help them loosen up who knows maybe they’ll talk to a girl and take her home! How much more value could you GIVE someone, you know?

To not look gay (lol) I usually open talking about the girls. Like I’ll stand near these guys being a part of Death Row myself, and when I see one of them check out a hot girl that walks past I’ll check her out too and then make eyes with him and be like “shit, cheers to THAT girl hey? lol” and hold my beer up for them to cheers “is this place always this good?”. From there if the guy seems friendly I’ll stick to girl talk but share some info about me like “man, we don’t have girls like that back home. I just moved here and some girls on the street told me this place has a bunch of drunk sluts so I figured hey, that’s where I want to go tonight! lol”. Note that I’m setting up easy conversation topics with this, because the guy can ask “oh where are you from?” Or “how do you like the city?” Etc cause remember he’s feeling nervous at the club too…so if you lob him easy conversation topics he can keep the convo going with you.

Also note how positive a conversation that is. It’s complimenting that girl, complimenting the bar, saying where you’re from isn’t as good, it’s implying you talked to some girls on the street, it’s got some humor to make them laugh. Combined with the value of loosening them up, the end result is they’re going to think “this person gives me good emotions and value!”

Now this isn’t gonna get you laid, and sometimes these guys are awkward/lame. Hell sometimes it’s their first night in the bar (I love that, I tell them about all the sketchy shit I’ve seen lol).

BUT, you CAN meet some nice dudes and build some small friendships. Exchange names and now when you see them at the bar again in the future you can say hi. Hell they may even be with girls and introduce you!

The gold mine is the totally solo guy. This guy is scared as fuck because he’s basically doing what you’re doing. Most of my best wingmen and longest friendships have been with these guys. After the small-talk up above I’ll say something like “ya I’ve never really been here but no one wanted to come out tonight so I figured I’d come out by myself but I’m nervous as fuck!! lol the girls here are so hot I don’t even know what to say to them.”

Now you’re relating to him and sharing some vulnerabilities so he starts feeling like he knows you. Plus it lets him open up about how nervous HE is. From there you can keep eachother company or try to encourage eachother to approach girls. Ideally you approach first (you’ll probably get shot down, THAT’S OKAY!! lol), just as soon as a girl walks by go “cheers!” and hold your beer out to her. She’ll probably just cheers, give a puzzled look, and walk away…but that’s more than your new buddy has done so while you laugh to him about “man I think she hated me lol” he’s going to go “wow this guy actually talked to a girl!! He’s way higher-value than me!” and from there you’ll probably both start talking to girls or at least talking to eachother ABOUT talking to girls which at this stage of your social life is just fine and dandy. You’re just socializing and making friends.

The nice thing about these guys is you know if they came out to the bar, they’re bar type people so if you two are still both solo at the end of the night you can say “this was fun we should creep girls out again sometime, you got a cell number?” and boom, you’ve got a wingman/friend who likes to go to the bars and since you both to solo you’re offering value to him because now he has a friend to go to the bars with. You’ve created a win/win situation for both of you.

When you have a few of these guys, you invite them all out to the same bar on the same night or over for pre-drinks before the bar and introduce them all to eachother. Now you have a little social circle you can build up from. :) It’s not going to be the highest value social circle where girls are lining up to fuck you all, but you can work your way up over time from there and build more social circles with cooler people and merge circles etc.

So there you go, give it a try. Like I say my best bar-buddies have come from this method over the years. And if I moved to a new city or was in a new enviro I would do this exact same thing because it’s simple and pretty much can’t go wrong.

Notice that nowhere in that conversation example did I have to admit I have no job or no friends or no social life etc. all that guy knows about me is “this guy is friendly, slightly less shy than me, makes me feel good emotions, and is offering me value!”

“You’ve said in the past that you started from nothing as well, did you ever deal with anything like this when you first started out”

Oh ya. Lots. See my problem was that on top of not knowing how to socialize and being scared to talk to strangers and being overwhelmed by the club environment, I had been a computer nerd hermit most of my life so I hadn’t DONE anything, so I had no stories to tell or things to share because my life was boring as fuck.

What I did was tell strangers stories my friends growing up told me about stuff THEY did, except pretend it happened to me lol if you’ve never had a friend who’s told you funny stories about their life, make shit up or exaggerate things that COULD’VE happened to you. That’s what early PUAs did with routines, it was actually similar to how a comedian looks at their day to day life and thinks “hmm what funny or weird or awkward things have happened to me this week?” and writes them down and practices how to tell them in front of a mirror. In fact a book/website/YouTube video on “how do I tell stories” or on comedy writing ideas might help you out a lot so Google for some of that shit. When you have a story make sure to tell it in every interaction so you get better at telling it, etc.

What happens is over time you start to collect new stories of fun/weird/awkward stuff that actually HAS happened to you. So you say “cheers!” to a girl and she goes “fuck off!!!!!” and barrels past you. Well that’s a story. “Man the girls here are so friendly. I was at a bar last week and said cheers to a girl and she shouted “fuck off!!!!!” and literally shoved me into my friends! I don’t know if she was hammered or having a bad day but wow I’m so glad you guys are friendlier lol”. Hell, steal that story I just wrote right there lol that just happened to you last weekend! Boom your first story! lol

It took me a solid 2 or 3 months before I started having interesting stories of my own to tell. 6 months in probably 60% of my stores were my own real ones that happened to me. By a year in it was 100% my own stuff because in a year of going out and socializing I had collected a bunch of random adventures and stories. Now years later I have stories of shit that’s happened to me that people can’t even believe lol

Hope this helps! This is my method of getting started in new cities and getting warmed up in clubs when I’m feeling shy. I’ve actually gained a few super close friends from it where we hang out outside the bar and I’ve been invited to their family dinners and we play Xbox and shit.

folasanmi · 2019-06-07T22:28:01+00:00

The best way to learn game is to go out alone. It build resourcefulness independence and character. Their are benefits to wings but their is nothing better than being able to be comfortable going out without an excuse of a wing. With that said if you approach a group correctly you look even more high value and no one will care that your alone. Also if the girl has friends learn how to talk to groups of girls.

WIA20XX · 2019-06-08T11:49:58+00:00

Find, open, win over the group, her logistics and relationships, win the chick over, stay with the chick/group, lead group to after party/post club diner, stay with the chick when the group separates.

Stepping up is hard.

Actually opening the group is hard.
Winning the chick over is hard.
Leading the group is hard.

All the skills are learnable.

The alternative is getting a phone number, which then turns into being such a cool and awesome guy that she still wants to hang out much later even though she isn't in the same headspace.

One is being at the stove, the other is sending a letter with a recipe.

Title	How do you do pick up when you are alone?
Author	DeYtHB
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	June 7, 2019 10:01 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/by0gi2/how_do_you_do_pick_up_when_you_are_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-do-pick-up-when-you-are-alone.1470844 https://theredarchive.com/post/1470844

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