So LONG story short, I'm 21 and ive never been on a date or so much as kissed a girls hand. I don't have problems having a conversation with a girl, I'm a decent conversationalist. For a while, I though my problem was just approaching women, so I started trying to talk to not just women, but EVERYONE around me, then I realized I SUCK at making smalltalk with people I don't know. So ive been working on that, though its slow going. I can't hit it off with anyone in any of my classes, which sucks, but I can only do so much.

So, what does this have to do with validation? well, I feel most of my problems come from the fact that Ive NEVER had romantic contact with a girl, zip, zero, nada. I mean, you hear about a lot of people on this/datingadvice/ect. that are horrible with women, but have had a girlfriend in the past or something. I don't even have that, whenever I'm talking to someone its always there in the back of my mind,"what would they think if you never had a girlfriend" "its weird" "no one has liked you why would she" ect. Now I know thats all bullshit, but it doesn't change the fact that you only shove that stuff so far down, eventually it surfaces. Its weird, hell I'm weird, but everyone is weird in some way or another.

basically, I feel bad because Ive NEVER had ANY validation romantically. Couple that with the fact my whole life I was taught to not be confidant unless you SHOULD BE (Don't be confidant you can wrestle a bear and win, unless you actually CAN wrestle a bear and win).

I mean, Im confidant that I'm not ugly, I'm confidant I have a good personality, I'm confidant people SHOULD like me. However, I really have no reason to believe that they should? I have 2 friends, every time I text someone to see if they want to hang its generally a bust, about 2 weeks ago I text every single number in my phone of people I had talked to the last year seeing if they wanted to hangout/bowl/jam/whatever and only like 2 people ANSWERED, both said they where busy. why should women be any different?

TL;DR I have NO validation socially, so how am I suppose to not care about being validated?