Qualifying, DHVs, intent, premise, escalating, calibrating, etc etc.

You can watch all the YouTube videos and read all the books in the world, but how do you commit this stuff to muscle memory so that you can actually do it in the field?

When I started, I didn't want to get bogged down in learning so much theory that I didn't actually go out and apply it, so I just focused on practicing cold approaching without spending a lot of time reading about how to do it online. In fact, I was skeptical of the entire self-help/pickup industry and avoided that shit, relying only on practice, experience, and trial-and-error.

After continuing to feel like I've stalled and wasn't making progress anymore, I decided to read more. What good is practicing if you're doing the same thing each time, not learning from your mistakes, not knowing what to do differently next time? I decided I needed more theory.

But even trying to put the tips from pickup material into action is SO HARD, because there's so much to remember. And when you're actually in the moment, everything seems to happen way too quickly for you to remember your repetoire of conversational strategies and behaviours. It's only after an interaction that I realize, "damn, I was too nice and boring, I forgot to put in a qualfying tease!" "Damn, that point of the conversation would have been ideal to DHV!" "Why didn't I escalate when I had the chance?" I end up forgetting everything I've read, and just kinda conversing as I normally would, and getting the same results as ever (which is why I find it funny when people say "just be yourself." I already do that; it's so hard not to do that!)

I'm skeptical of the material, because anybody can put up a video, even hiring some attractive women as arm-candy, or publish self-help books riddled with grammatical and typographical errors with no proof that these strategies work, but I at least want to try them so that I know for sure. Worst case scenario is that I'm no more successful than I was before. But the problem is, putting this stuff into action is really hard when I can't even internalize it.