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[–]Humpzelot 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
by reading the vibe you’re getting before you’re making a move.
[–]MrMiles919 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sure. I get that calibration is important, and my actions should align with that vibe.
I guess what I find somewhat challenging is reading that vibe. I understand that just because a woman comes back to my place doesn't mean she wants to sleep with me. But I'd be interested in advice on making that read so I can act accordingly.
[–]Humpzelot 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
the game doesn’t end when you get home. I just walk in like I just got home, super comfortable have her put her stuff in my room before going to the living room (to introduce her to the “area.”), then keep a super relaxed vibe the whole time and just slowly escalate. Another tip is to have her participate in the escalation in some way by telling her to put some music on, or lighting a candle.
[–]darthelijah 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When you’re making out, DONT escalate stuff. Either you’ll stop making out and chill or whatever or she’ll escalate it and it’s all gravy
[–]MrMiles919 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, I think this might be the way...
[–]darthelijah 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the way
[–]Typical_Connection 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Wow you got some really bad advice in this thread.
What’s happening OP is called LMR (last minute resistance). Not gonna get into too much but when this happens, take the rejection on the chin and continue chatting her up. 5-10min later start making out again and try to escalate. I 100% guarantee you will go farther than last. It’s always a 2 steps forward 1 step back game
[–]Therocksays2020 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is how you get #metooed
[–]Typical_Connection 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not really unless you’re autistic and continue after more than one deny
[–]revente 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Are you 12 and have never heard of the concept of a foreplay? Women are almost never as eager for sex as men and require a lot of warming up, this doesn't mean you should stop in your tracks. As long as you withdraw respectfully every time they ask you to its fine to escalate. They want you to do so.
Girl in OP's example didn't state she doesn't want sex ever. She's just stated she doesn't want to move too quicly. But she came to his place after a date so unless she changed her mind (yeah that happens) she wanted sex that evening.
[–]Therocksays2020 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He mentioned they already had foreplay. It’s when he tries to go from foreplay to sex.
Coming to someone’s place does not mean they want sex. But yeah you be one of those never take no for an answer types.
Should work out 😬
[–]MrMiles919 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I've tried this, but haven't had much success with it. We'll make out a little bit, then cool off, then make out a little more, then cool off. But at no point is there are willingness to escalate. She has a pretty firm stance on not progressing (again, which I respect).
Then she leaves and ultimately is turned off. I think maybe there's an element of disappoint on her end. She was having a great time and saw potential for a relationship, but she thinks that because I attempted to sleep with her, I must not be interested in a long term relationship.
This is a separate (but related) subject... I'll want to sleep with a girl on a first date, but I'm also interested in dating her long term. For some reason these are mutually exclusive to women. In her mind, if a man wants to sleep with her on a first date, he only wants sex and is not interested in a relationship.
[–]Typical_Connection 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
In this exact scenario then it sounds like she just really doesn’t want to have sex which is ok. You can either pursue or move on. If you want to date her seriously, continue, if you just want a lay, move on.
As far as the first date stuff you said, that’s bullocks. Never have I had a woman not want to get serious because we had sex on the first night. A woman wants to date you seriously regarding what you bring to the table, that’s all. If you’re a handsome, high earning charismatic male with good dick, I would bet both of my testicles that she’d still want to hook you in a relationship even after swallowing your cum the first night.
If you’re getting ghosted after the first night then it’s probably less because of them wanting a relationship or whatever, and more that you probably just aren’t great in bed or your hygiene is lacking.
[–]MrMiles919 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think you and I are having a bit of a disconnect here.
First of all, this isn't a one-time experience, or something that happened with one woman, this has happened with several women.
Secondly, you are right she doesn't want to have sex, she's made that clear when I attempt to escalate. But prior to coming to my place, she was interested in me and attracted to me. That is, until I attempt to sleep with her. Then the attraction is gone.
[–]Typical_Connection 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If it’s happening with multiple women then the constant is you. At that point I’d say you’re probably coming on too hard since they’re fine up u til that point then don’t go out for another date. When you escalate are you going from making out right to groping or? How is your escalation?
Yeah, it's possible that I'm trying to escalate too quickly. Typically I go from a few minutes of making out, to stuff around the shirt. I may need to slow the escalation (or maybe even not escalate and all and put the escalation on them).
But it still seems like they know before they come over that they don't want to have sex. And my rate of escalation isn't going to change that.
[–]Typical_Connection -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Your thinking is totally backwards. You really think a girl goes to a guys house at night, has a few drinks and is not at least somewhat open to having sex?
Women love sex just as much if not more than men, if they come over I’d say there’s a very high chance they want to (won’t say all because some don’t but it’s a small margin).
Besides that it sounds like when you go for the shirt is the fuck up, slow your roll. Women are like dimmer bulbs, take your time. Use a 2 steps forward 1 step back approaching.
make out pull back and talk some more make out again but this time kiss her neck a few times pull back and continue the convo, keep eye contact start making out again, while you kiss her neck again now maybe start touching her shoulder and work your way slowly.
make out
pull back and talk some more
make out again but this time kiss her neck a few times
pull back and continue the convo, keep eye contact
start making out again, while you kiss her neck again now maybe start touching her shoulder and work your way slowly.
Get what I’m getting at? Take your time and focus on turning them on. Your success rate will improve and you will probably start having them escalate eventually once you have a good sense of foreplay.
Ouch man
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[–]Humpzelot 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrMiles919 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Humpzelot 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]darthelijah 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrMiles919 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]darthelijah 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Typical_Connection 1 point2 points3 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Therocksays2020 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Typical_Connection 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]revente 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Therocksays2020 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MrMiles919 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Typical_Connection 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrMiles919 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Typical_Connection 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrMiles919 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Typical_Connection -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]darthelijah 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link