I remember one night when I was out at a night club and I got a text from a chick that I tried to get at in the past but it didn’t work out.

She said she was downtown and wanted to see me (downtown is where all the clubs are in my area).

So, I didn’t respond because I didn’t know who it was (she texted me from a different number) and quite frankly, I didn’t care.

But then she calls.

I pick-up and she starts explaining who she is but I still couldn’t remember, so I told her to send me a picture of herself.

She sends the picture and it happens to be a cute blonde chick that as I mentioned earlier, I tried to get at but it never worked out.

So, I tell her that I remember her and we can meet up at the club.

Once we meet up, I look at her beauty and I start to get in my feelings.

See the things is, I was in a bad mood that night and I had a needy vibe, so when I saw her I got even more needy.

My mindset went from “I’m just out here trying to have fun”, to “I’m with this cute chick and I want her, but I don’t want to mess up because if I do I will be a loser”.

So, we hung out for awhile and went in and out of clubs. We chatted the entire time, but I slowly realized that the vibe was changing.

You see when we just met up, she was super cheerful and cute, but after about 20-23 minutes of hanging together she started to put up a wall that communicated to me that she was starting to lose interest.

Basically, my needy vibe, and my unsureness of myself caused her to put her defenses up.

I wasn’t being a fun and care-free guy that women find attractive.

I was acting like I was unsure of myself, I wasn’t being assertive with my intent, and I basically I was just being super laid back and boring.

It got to the point where she literally just walked away from me at some point.

Of course, I tried to play it off like I didn’t care, but deep down inside I felt like the ultimate loser.

I had a woman basically throw herself at me, and I didn’t capitalize on the opportunity to increase the attraction and steer the relationship in the direction of my choice.

Have you ever been in a situation like this?

You know when you approach and interact with a woman, but you can just tell that every moment that passes she is losing more and more interest in you, and you can’t seem to fix it?

Well, to be honest with you, I’ve been in that situation countless times.

I’ve been in that situation so many times that I can sense it very quickly, and from my experience, it is very difficult to come back from those situations unless you have a strong understanding of how attraction works in a woman.

So, first let’s start with this…..

Why do women have a “defense mechanism” or what some guys like to call a “bitch shield”.

What causes women to trigger their defense mechanism?

How can us men overcome a woman’s defense mechanism?

Is it even possible to overcome it?

Well, the reason women develop a defense mechanism is because it helps them weed out the low-value guys who are basically a waste of their time.

Attractive women get approached a lot by all kinds of different men, and sometimes they are nice and give these guys their numbers and/or go on dates with them.

After plenty of bad experiences with most guys, these women develop an ability to sense the guys who are potentially going to be annoying, boring, or simply not worth their time.

And let’s be real here, you can’t expect women to be receptive to every man who approaches them.

Attractive women don’t have enough time to go on a date with every guy who approaches them even if they wanted to, because some of these women get approached by men a dozen times a day whether directly or indirectly.

So, the defense mechanism is used to screen out low value men and identify high value men.

In other words, if you display attractive qualities to a woman, she will be receptive to you, but if you display unattractive qualities to a woman, you will trigger her defense mechanism. What makes this defense mechanism so powerful, is that most guys don’t know what causes it and/or how to get past it.

Well, I have some good news for you.

The problem is YOU.

Which means the solution is YOU.

You are in control of a woman’s defense mechanism.

You are the one who triggers her defense mechanism.

The women who reject and are mean to you are not trying to attack you personally, they’re simply responding to your behavior which happened to be unattractive.

If you want to achieve more success with women, your goal should be to NEVER trigger her defense mechanism.

Don’t try to overcome her defense mechanism, just make sure you don’t trigger it in the first place.

A woman’s defense mechanism is triggered in response to the things you say and do while interacting with her.

If you say and do the right things, you don’t have to worry about her putting up a wall.

So here is what triggers a woman’s defense mechanism and here is how you can avoid triggering it in the first place.

But….first I need to explain something to you real quick.

Women are not as straight forward as us men.

Women are very good at reading body language and picking up on subtleties in your voice and your presence.

Men are mostly attracted to a woman’s looks, while a woman takes the whole package into consideration before she can feel that extreme level of attraction that us men feel when we see a hot chick.

So, with that being said, there is one specific thing that men do that triggers a woman’s defense mechanism like no other.

And that’s Seeking A Woman’s Validation/Approval!

When you interact with a woman, the last thing you want to do is say and do things in attempt to gain her approval or validation.

Most men see a hot woman, and then think about ways to make her like them.

Oh let me go and buy her a drink.

Let me go over there and tell her how beautiful she is.

Let me go over there and tell her how I’m such a nice guy and I’m not like all those jerks out there.

All those actions come from a place of seeking approval.

Women don’t want to feel like you’re trying to make them like you, they want to have a real interaction with you which allows her to choose whether she likes you or not.

If you want women to keep their walls down and give you the time of day to show your personality, then you must avoid seeking validation.

Your vibe should be, “I’m a fun and care-free guy, and I don’t care whether you like me or not, I’m just being me without any apologies.”

The more you communicate to a woman that you’re not seeking her approval, the more she will find you attractive.

However, there are some woman out there who have their defenses up before you approach them.

Some women have boyfriends.

Some women are married.

Some women are just in a bad mood.

Some women have just found out that their fiancé was having an affair with their sister.

Seriously, you never really know what a woman is going through, so if a woman is being tough right from the beginning of your approach it probably has nothing to do with you.

But in most cases, her defense mechanism is being triggered by something you did or said that communicated to her that you’re seeking her approval/validation.

I know it sounds weird, but by having a “I don’t give a shit about you” vibe, you will attract a lot more women in your life than you will if you give off a “I will do whatever it takes to make you like me” vibe.

I’m not saying to be an asshole, but I’m saying you should just just do and say whatever you want and stop filtering yourself when you’re interacting with beautiful women.

And the longer you can maintain this “non-approval seeking” behavior around women, the more attractive you become. This is how you separate yourself from all those other thirsty guys who are trying to win that woman over.

Another point I want to make is that, when you try to make a woman like you by seeking validation from her, she will see that as a form of manipulation.

Women can sense the insincerity in your tone and your body language, and it’s an instant turn-off.

So, as strange as this sounds, your goal should be to make her think that you don’t need her.

Obviously, you need to show some interest by flirting and teasing her, but don’t make it seem like she is this amazing trophy that you’re trying to win.

Everything you do and say should communicate to her that you DO NOT need her validation and you have no problem walking away, because you have an abundance mindset and you know that if it doesn’t work out with her, there are millions of women out there.

What’s even more powerful is when you can have a fun interaction with a woman without seeking her approval.

Think about your interactions with your best friends.

I highly doubt that you’re putting your best friend on a pedestal and trying to win him over in your interactions.

Well, you need to take that same fun and care-free vibe that you have with your friends and inject it into your interactions with the women you find attractive.

Attraction is the kryptonite to a woman’s defense mechanism.

If you don’t know how to create attraction, and increase it throughout your interactions with women, then you will be doomed to inconsistent results in your dating/sex life.

What you need to understand is that women want to feel attraction from you.

When you approach a woman, she is secretly hoping that you will be that guy that will allow her to feel that magical attraction that she dreams about.

You can be that guy, but you need to know the basics of attraction, and then you need to understand the steps you need to take to create attraction effectively and consistently.