I’ve struggled with this question a lot. A decade ago.

What it really is, are 4 steps.

I remember being hopelessly in love, getting broken up with and it really sucked. The first thing I thought of in the morning was this girl.

Every day. Without fail.

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A decade later I would understand what the zoomed-out picture looked like.

Check out my vid for details (https://youtu.be/frmKl2Vnjdc ) but this is the main points:

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Step 1:

Understand what’s going on. If you want her back, it means SHE broke up with YOU.

It all boils down to one thing. Maturity. She became more mature than you, and realized.

She doesn’t wanna be with you anymore. She wants to be with a different dude.

The key is understanding that you can become a different dude. In time.

Caveat: don’t do it for her, do it for you.

Step 2:

Cut all communication. There’s no way you can do what you need to do with her in any “role” in your life.

Besides, cutting communication might be the first thing that you assert. Good for you and keep em going.

Step 3:

Grow

This is gonna take time. Study how it works. Shoot me a text, I’ll help.

When she pops up in your head, take that to mean that you should focus on whatever the number one thing in your life is. If the number one thing happens to be that girl, then focus on number 2.

(No poo jokes pls)

Step 4:

Reopen communication.

You won’t have to verbalize anything, you having become a different dude will permeate through your voice, gaze and every move.

Now you can be with her. But you probably won’t want to.